Total Drama Madness
by TDI Charlie Brown
Summary: Dedicated to The Kobold Necromancer! Eleven original campers and eleven new campers compete in the third season of the Total Drama Franchise. Read the Prequel to get a vivid introduction to the new campers. Read and Review! The second challenge is up!
1. Chapter 1

**So here it is: another attempt to do a third season of Total Drama with eleven of my favorite campers returning and eleven new ones coming back. Why am I doing this when there are already hundreds of these? **

**Well, first of all, I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of Total Drama Comeback 2 from The Kobold Necromancer. In anticipation as to what is going to happen, I developed numerous possibilities in my head. In the end, I realized I had enough to do my own little versions of the sequel to my favorite Total Drama Fanfiction. **

**Disclaimer – I do not own the characters of Total Drama Island. Teletoon owns them. HOWEVER, I DO own the eleven original characters submitted in this story. Please do not use them in your stories without my permission. **

**Author's Note – This Fanfiction is dedicated to The Kobold Necromancer in appreciation of everything you have done here on Fanfiction! Thank you The Kobold Necromancer! **

**Prequel: Entering The Madness**

Total Drama Action was finally over! The fourteen campers that had partaken in the show were now free from Chris' evil schemes…or so they thought.

Leshawna was hanging out with her two best friends from the show, Trent and Gwen, talking and laughing about different things that had happened during the second season of Total Drama, like how Chris had gotten jealous of Total Drama Aftermath after it proved to be more successful than the actual show, how Heather kept losing her wig, revealing her bald head, and how the most unlikely of events occurred during the finale of the show when the underdog Harold managed to beat out Duncan to claim the title: Winner of Total Drama Action and the grand prize of $1,000,000.

Trent and Gwen, during this time, managed to make up and agreed to start seeing each other again with a clean slate, forgetting about what had occurred between the two during the second season. They toasted to a fresh new start and shared a kiss to celebrate the moment.

Speaking of kissing, the nearby hot tub was occupied be the series two most popular couples making out vigorously: Bridgette and Geoff being the first and Duncan and Courtney being the second. There was no small talk, no conversation, or flirting: just the two couples in a heavy make-out session, not paying any attention to the other.

Eva just rolled her eyes as she walked by the two couples: she was still fuming over the fact that Courtney, the spoiled little prep girl who was furthest from winning the chance to be on Total Drama Action, was allowed to participate on the show halfway through after seven other contestants were voted off. She felt she should have been on the show instead, being the most skilled and athletic individual on the show. Yet she wasn't even given the chance to prove herself.

"So freakin' unfair," she muttered to herself as she shot glares at Courtney, who didn't notice her.

"Wow…I didn't know you were the kind of person who was into watching others make out," a lazy voice called out behind her.

Eva turned to see Noah sitting a few feet away from her in a lawn chair, reading his favorite novel.

"Shut it, wimp," Eva snorted.

"Sheesh…touchy," Noah scoffed.

"Aren't you?" Eva barked. "This spoiled prep gets to return to Total Drama Action just because she threatens to sue the producers? It ain't fair, I tell ya!"

"What are you complaining about, eh?" came a thick Canadian accent. "I was voted off the first day of the first season. At least you got a second chance at that! I didn't even get that!"

"You deserved it, sexist prairie boy!" Eva snorted. "I'm one of the most threatening challengers to this show! That's why I was voted off so early!"

"You lost, you failed to get in the second season, and it's over. Life goes on! Get over it!" Noah called over, not looking up from his book.

"NO! I WANT JUSTICE! AND I'LL PUMMELL ANYONE IT TAKES TO GET IT!"

"Ooh! We've got a cat fight going on!" an excited voice called out. Then, in an instant, an orange and green blur jumped down from the sky. "Izzy gets to be the judge of the cat fight!"

"Don't do that, eh?" Ezekiel pleaded, trying to find his heart rate after being almost scared to death.

"Aw, Izzy's sorry," she innocently cooed the prairie boy. "Izzy got a little excited when she saw a cat fight about to break out between Eva and Noah and couldn't miss out on what could be the fight of the century!"

"Uh, Izzy, first of all, I don't think Eva does cat fights. She fights to the death," Noah sighed. "Secondly, you need two girls for a cat fight."

"But Noah IS a girl…at least he acts like one," Izzy laughed as she leapt over to Noah and scuffled his hair slightly, much to Noah's annoyance.

"I don't think I'll ever understand that girl, eh?" Ezekiel chuckled.

"Don't talk to me…sexist pig," Eva grunted and walked away.

"Don't think I'll ever understand that one either," he sighed, scratching his head.

Elsewhere, Katie and Sadie were sitting by the pool, watching eagerly as Justin prepared to dive into the pool, almost drooling over the male model as the sun glistened off his bare chest. Justin didn't pay any attention to either of them as he was more focused on his diving form.

Cody was nearby watching Justin as well. The male model dove off the high board and landed the dive perfectly. Katie and Sadie squealed in delight as Justin emerged from the pool, looking even more beautiful with water dripping off his already smoking hot body. This gave Cody an idea. Without saying anything, he raced for the high dive in his swimming trunks and performed a cannonball. He instantly raced out of the water and stood in front of Justin and began to pose for Katie and Sadie.

"What do you think, huh girls? Pretty neat and hot too, huh?"

"Uh, could you, like get out of the way please Cody?" Katie asked as nicely as possible.

"Yeah…you're blocking the marvelous view that is Justin," Sadie replied, swooning at the thought of Justin being wet.

Cody looked shocked and sighed when his plan didn't work. He obliged the girls and unblocked their view of the male model.

DJ was simply lounging near the hot tub, petting Bunny and enjoying the day. He had avoided everyone at the resort as of late due to his conscious eating him from the inside about forming an illegal alliance with Chef. The truth was, no one really blamed DJ for what happened and weren't mad at him in the slightest bit. But DJ didn't believe this for some reason.

Elsewhere, Tyler, Lindsay, and Beth were hanging out and talking up a storm about all sorts of things.

"So are you two going to come up to visit me on my family farm?" Beth excitedly asked Tyler and Lindsay.

"Totally! And you two are definitely coming to visit me at my daddy's millionaire estates in Montreal! We've got a large swimming pool that's, like, SO much bigger than this one! And our own personal chef's that are, like a bazillion times better than Chef! Plus, we've even got a ranch!"

"SWEET!" Tyler exclaimed, seeming excited. "I can't wait to show your family how awesome I am at polo and diving!"

"Great!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"Uh…yeah…sounds fun," Beth uncomfortably chuckled. "Sounds a lot better than tractor rides and camping out."

Lindsay gasped in amazement when she heard this. "You do tractor rides? OH MY GOSH! I have NEVER been on a tractor ride before! Have you Tyler?"

"No way! It sounds like fun!"

"Really?" Beth asked in astonishment.

"Definitely!" Lindsay squealed. "I knew we'd be the greatest bestest best friends ever!"

"Me too!" Beth squealed and gave her friend a great big hug.

Nearby, Heather just scoffed at the scene that fell before her: to be honest, she couldn't have cared less for those three that had screwed her of winning the grand prize on Total Drama Action. It had been down to the final five: Justin, Heather, Courtney, Harold, and Duncan and Chris had given everyone at Playa De Losers 2 the chance to vote someone out of the game. Immediately Beth and Lindsay stated Heather's name and this started a chain reaction that ultimately got Heather voted out of the contest.

"I'll find a way to get even with those two bitches if it's the last thing I do," she muttered to herself.

Finally, Owen and Harold were conversing with one another, talking about how great it felt to be the two winners of the Total Drama contests.

"We so totally owned this game!" Harold wheezed in excitement as he held up his $1,000,000 check proudly. "I'm sorry you lost your prize in attempt to out-skill my mad skills my noble foe."

"Don't worry about it dude!" Owen chuckled happily. "I had a blast! Heck, I almost won again. I think I'm the contestant that has suffered the most days under the cruel hands of Chris and Chef. At least I have bragging rights!"

"Dang, I wish I had bragging rights," Harold sighed. Then, his face lit up instantly. "Oh wait! I do! YES!"

Both Harold and Owen shared a laugh over this.

As the rest of the campers enjoyed their time at Playa de Losers 2, a cold, sudden chill filled the air. The making-out, revenge plotting, Justin ogling, laughing, relaxing, fighting, and conversing instantly stopped as Chris entered the scene, pushing a large television in front of him.

"Oh dear lord. What's that man planning now?" Noah shuddered, looking up from his book.

"Good afternoon campers and cast mates," Chris grinned.

"I'm not giving up my money to try for more!" Harold instantly said, cuddling his briefcase.

"Cool," Chris merely replied. "I wasn't going to give you guys that option anyways."

"Then why **are** you here?" Gwen asked suspiciously.

"And what's with that television?" Leshawna added in, quirking an eyebrow.

"Allow me to fill you all in:" Chris evilly chuckled. "It seems that Total Drama has become the number one rated reality television show in all of Canada. Millions of millions of viewers tuned in throughout both seasons to watch the twenty-two of you suffer at my hands. Go ahead: give yourselves a pat on the back for that."

"That's not something I'm particularly proud of," Eva snapped back. "We were humiliated and embarrassed on national television. And for what? NOTING!"

"Not true," Chris replied. "You all got cheap tabloid fame and became national celebrities at the same time. You'll all continue to be celebrities…for a few months more anyways."

"Gee…how nice," Duncan grunted. "My fellow inmates at juvie will want to get my autograph before they engage in a fist fight with me. I'm touched and feel so blessed."

"Not the case for you, my friend," Chris smiled.

"Yeah, well…wait…what?" Duncan asked, looking intrigued.

"Allow me to explain!" Chris began, clearing his throat. "In the beginning, when you all signed your contracts, it was obvious you were all oblivious to the fine prints in them, which is why we got to do Total Drama Action."

"I'm grateful for that!" Harold called out proudly.

"Yes, we know Harold," Chris replied, slightly irritated he had been interrupted. "Anyways, the producers and I speculated that the show might be a huge success and thanks you all, it was!"

"Well, duh!" Heather scoffed. "You had ME on the show."

"STOP INTERUPTING ME!" Chris barked out. "Anyways, to keep up money…I mean, to keep the national sensation that is Total Drama continuing, the producers and network have agreed to let us all do a third season!"

"WHAT!" All the members of the show barked out in union.

"Oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no NO!" Leshawna growled, marching up to Chris. "You did NOT just sign me onto a third season!"

"No, I didn't," Chris smiled. "YOU did when you signed the contract. It's called the fine, fine print!"

"Is there even such a thing as fine, fine print?" Bridgette asked, looking very irritated.

"There is now!" Chris laughed.

"NO!" Gwen shouted in anger. "THAT'S IT! IF, AND WHEN I ESCAPE THIS HELL HOLE OF A SHOW, I AM GOING TO HAVE A LAWYER READ EVERY SINGLE CONTRACT GIVEN TO ME BEFORE I SIGN IT!"

"Relax Gwen," Chris signed. "You're not going to partake in the next season."

"What do you mean by that?" Gwen demanded.

"Well, to be honest, there are two different kinds of contracts that were given out to you all. Eleven of them said that in case of a third season, you are obligated to participate as a contestant. The other eleven state that you will be obligated to partake in other duties related to the show: interns, Chef's assistant…another talk show."

"Sweet!" Geoff bellowed out. "I loved doing that! Bridgette and I call dibs on that responsibility!"

"Sorry Geoff my man, but according to my paperwork, you and Bridgette both signed the contracts that said you would be contestants in the third season."

"OH NO!" Bridgette and Geoff groaned out together in despair.

"So who are the other nine that signed the 'contestant' contracts?" Noah asked, seeming concerned.

"I'm getting to that! Just be patient!" Chris declared. Once everyone settled down, Chris began to read from a list he brought with him. "The eleven that will be participating in the third season as contestants are…Geoff…Bridgette…"

Again, both Geoff and Bridgette groaned.

"…Heather…"

"UGH!" Heather shouted out in anger. "NO! YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME!"

"Oh, but I can…fine, fine print," Chris snickered. "Anyways, moving on…Duncan…"

"Aw man," Duncan sighed.

"…Courtney…"

"WHAT!" Courtney demanded. "I'm stuck with HIM again?!"

"Oh, season three just got more exciting and thrilling!" Duncan smiled as he pulled Courtney in closer to him.

"Stop pretending you hate it," Noah scoffed. "You were just making out with him a few minutes ago."

"Noah!" Chris called out.

"Sorry, I'll stay quiet and let you finish reading off the list of poor souls that have to endure another season with you," Noah lazily sighed as he opened up his book.

"No Noah, I mean…Noah…YOU are going to partake in season three!"

Noah's eyes went wide and his emotionless expression turned to one of shock as he dropped his book.

"Oh God, tell me this is a cruel prank or a bad dream. One or the other will do fine. Heck, I'll even take both right now."

"Sorry Noah, but you signed the contract," Chris replied. He then returned to his list. "The next names I'm going to call are…Beth and Lindsay!"

All three of them moaned in frustration.

"AW, COME ON!" Lindsay cried out in a high pitch squeal. "I was so looking forward to that tractor ride!"

"And I was looking forward to that horse ranch!" Beth exclaimed.

"And I was looking forward to both!" Tyler cried out.

"Hey, look on the bright side you three: this is another chance for you both to become even more famous," Chris announced.

Instantly and simultaneously, all three stopped complaining. Instead, they all looked to be very excited and enthusiastic about the idea.

"That was easy," Chris chuckled. "The next camper to return as a contestant is…the Codester! The Codemeister! Cody!"

"WHAT?! For real?!" Cody asked, showing signs of mixed emotions between excitement and despair. "Really? You're not pulling a fast one on me, are you? Are there going to be bears again?!"

"Yes and yes," Chris replied, making Cody both thrilled and scared at the same time.

"Next is…EVA!"

"YES!" Eva called out. "OH YEAH! THIS IS IT: MY CHANCE TO SHINE AND SHOW WHAT I'M REALY MADE OF! THANK YOU CHRIS! THANK YOU!"

"You know, it sort of scares me that you're as excited about this as you are," Noah replied.

"SHUT IT! OH YEAH!" Eva continued to celebrate.

"People…this is the last name to be called," Chris announced. "The remaining eleven contestants who do not get their names called must do as they are told, when they are told, and how they are told by your new boss. And you can't quit or come onto the show…EVER!"

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, now he's making it into an elimination ceremony," Leshawna grumbled. "I just hope it's not me!"

"Me too!" Trent and Gwen replied in union.

Lindsay was gripping onto Tyler as tightly as possible, praying he would be selected to participate on the show.

Justin anxiously awaited Chris to announce who it would be. Katie and Sadie were grappling onto him in anticipation and excitement.

DJ gently stroked Bunny in anticipation of the moment. Sweat was pouring down from his forehead.

Ezekiel was shaking vigorously, the tension built up inside of him.

Izzy, Owen, and Harold were begging to themselves that they would be the final participants in the show.

'Please, let me be a part of the awesome show one more time,' Owen begged to himself.

'One more chance to show off my skills to the world,' Harold thought to himself in excitement.

'Izzy can't wait for the third round! Either or is good enough for me!'

"People, the final participant of you twenty-two that will be in season three is…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…Ezekiel!"

"WHAT!" Cried Bridgette, Courtney, Eva, and Ezekiel at the same time.

"That's right Zeke!" Chris grinned. "You have a chance to redeem yourself in this third and upcoming season!"

"Oh, No! No! No! No!" Ezekiel whimpered. "I was SO looking forward to going home! Pick someone else, please!" he pleaded.

"Sorry! Fine, fine print dude," Chris chuckled.

Ezekiel sighed in despair and hid himself under his toque as he felt three pair of angry eyes glare at him.

"NO!" Owen cried out in despair. "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"Darn it!" Harold shouted in frustration. "I so wanted to participate in this season."

"Wait! What about Tyler?" Lindsay whined, not letting go of the jock.

"Well, he, along with the others that weren't chosen to be on the show, are going to be working for Chef, helping him around the campgrounds doing different things. Don't worry, you'll be seeing plenty of them," Chris assured.

"Oh good," Lindsay smiled, hugging the jock. Then, a state of shock came across her face. "Wait…campgrounds? You don't mean…"

"I do," Chris grinned. "We're returning to Wawanakwa for this third season!"

The eleven that had been chosen for the show groaned in union. Even some of those that hadn't been chosen groaned.

"So…there's only going to be eleven of us competing for the prize of the third season?" Cody asked.

"Works for me," Heather smirked. "It makes it all the easier for me to win."

"Actually, no," Chris explained. "You see, the producers thought it was time to shake things up a bit. You see, we feared that the show might get too boring if the same people kept competing in these challenges all the time. Therefore, in addition to you eleven that have been chosen today, we signed eleven new teens to compete along with you! We're REALLY shaking things up this season! We're coming in it with a BANG!"

"Cool! I LOVE meeting new people," Beth giggled. "So, who are they?"

"That, Beth, is why we brought this television! Here, you're going to meet the new competitors that may end up being your friends, foes, or maybe…just maybe…something beyond friendship."

Some of the teens giggled in glee at the thought of this (mainly Cody) while others, (like Heather) just scoffed.

"Ladies and gentlemen…allow me to introduce you to the new campers of Total Drama Madness!"

"Total Drama Madness?" some of the campers asked.

"It's what we're calling the third season," Chris explained.

"Lame," Noah replied.

"Shush now. The audition tapes are starting to play!"

**(New Contestant 1: Joe – The Comic Artist) **

(A fifteen year old boy with an oddly shaped oval head and three single hairs coming out the front and back of his head is sitting at a drawing table. He is relatively thin and looks about six feet tall. He is wearing baggy jeans, sneakers, and a gay hoodie)

Hey guys! Joe here! Heard you needed some new contestants for the third season and thought I'd give it a try. Well, what's to say about myself? I'm outgoing and I love new challenges. I'll certainly be entertaining to the show. Plus, I could use the money to build my own comic studios.

(He grabs some papers and holds them up to the camera) Here, let me show you what I can do. (The first drawing is of a cartoon duck) This is my main character, Ducko. He's sort of my outgoing side that isn't afraid to say what's on his mind. (The next picture is of a cartoon farmer) This is Ducko's owner. It's all he can do to keep up with Ducko and stop him from getting into trouble. And this one is… (He holds up a picture of three ladies dressed in skimpy clothing with large breasts. He quickly pulls is back, realizing what the picture is) OH CRAP! THAT'S NOT THE ONE I MEANT TO SHOW YOU! (He sighs) Ah, I'll just edit that last part out.

**(New Contestant #2: Jamie – The Country Girl**)

(A sixteen year old girl with dark, brown hair is riding her horse through an open field. She is on the shorter side, around 5 foot 5, but average weight. She is wearing jeans and a pink sweater.)

Hi everyone at the network! My name's Jamie! (The camera shows footage of a great farm in the background) This is my home. I've lived here all my life and have never ventured out from it. (She chuckles) It's kind of embarrassing, but I've never been in a town with a population larger than 150 people. I have no experience living outside the country whatsoever. But who knows" Maybe that's what you guys are looking for in your contestants.

The reason I want to enter this contest is to make my brother proud of me…(She starts to tear up) He was shot over in Iraq and…he…he was my best friend…and I want to make him proud of me by being as tough as he was…(She starts crying) I'm sorry…I promised I wouldn't cry.

**(New Contestant #3 – Jason – Mr. Perfect) **

(A tall eighteen year old with short, smooth brown hair is standing in front of the camera wearing casual dress clothes: red polo shirt, brown khakis, and brown leather dress shoes. He is very built and handsome for most boys his age.)

Good afternoon fine producers of Total Drama Madness. My name is Jason and I would love to have the opportunity to partake in your third season of the great hit reality television show that has taken a nation by swarm. I feel that it will benefit me greatly in many ways and it would be an excellent addition to my resume. Here, let me read it out to you (he pulls out a piece of paper). Let's see, I was captain of my football team, basketball team, baseball team, debate team…I led our school to victory in last years envirothon…was elected prom king at my class prom…that's just a few things.

If you do choose me, I would appreciate it. If not, I understand. Just make sure that whomever you choose to be in my place is worthy of being on the show. Thank you for your time.

**(New Contestant #4 – Amie – The Dancer) **

(A sixteen year old girl standing about 5 foot 7 and average weight is dancing in her room to some hip-hop music in the background. She has blonde hair tied up in a ponytail and is wearing a white t-shirt with a red long-sleeve blouse and a red skirt that goes just below her knees. She is dancing happily to the beat of the music in her sandals.)

Hey guys! What's happening? I'm Amie and I think I'd be a perfect addition to your Total Drama Roster! Why? Well, I was elected class leader by my own peers at school, so you know I'll have leadership skills. Also, I LOVE camping, so that'll come into play when I'm on the show. And finally…because I've got the moves baby! (She closes her eyes and lets the music take control of her body as she continues to dance around her room)

**(New Contestant #5 – Brandon – The Soccer Star) **

(A sixteen year old boy with dirty blonde curly hair is standing in a soccer field dressed in soccer attire: a green jersey with the #1 on the front, green shorts, shin guards, and black cleats. He stands about 5 foot 9 and is a little skinny, but not terribly.)

Yo! Brandon here! (He begins to juggle the soccer ball) You're looking at the man who's going to go all the way in Total Drama Madness! (He bounces that ball on his head) I'm not afraid of anything you guys have to dish out because I'm the kind of guy who loves a challenge! I ain't afraid of anything and turn down NO challenge!

"Oh yeah?!" a voice from off camera calls. "I bet you can't kick that ball clear over the school!"

"Oh yeah? Just watch me Andrew!" Brandon replies, grinning menacingly.

(He allows the ball to drop to the ground. Once it is settled, he backs up for a head start and charges at the ball, kicking it as hard as he can. He watches in excitement and anticipation as the ball sores through the sky. Seconds later, the sound of a window smashing is heard in the distance).

Oh crap! Guy! Turn it off! Run!

(Camera cuts to static)

**(New Contestant #6 – Ali – The Rich Bitch) **

(A seventeen year old girl is standing in front of her mansion beside a Hummer. She has long, blonde, silky hair and stands about 5 foot 10. She is athletically fit and has a very curvy body. She is wearing a short, hot pink sleeveless silk dress and is wearing sandals.)

Hello everyone. My name is Ali and I am giving you the opportunity to have me partake on your reality show. The way I see it, this isn't the opportunity of a lifetime for me, but for you! You should be honored that someone like me would want to lower myself to that horrid campground you call Wawanakwa. But I consider myself a caring, giving person. That's why I want to give your show a reason to be watched by being on it. Plus, I'm giving the world the chance to see this perfect, beautiful body. (she flicks her hair aside) I trust you'll make the right decision.

**(New Contestant #7 – Greg – The Asshole) **

(An eighteen year old boy is simply standing in front of the camera. He is wearing a white muscle shirt, blue jeans, and sneakers. He is athletically built, standing about 6 feet tall and had short, blonde hair.)

Hey, this is Greg here. You gonna put me on the third season of Total Drama Island? (He pauses for a second) WHY NOT? I'M FREAKING ENTERTAINING! Oh, oh because the producers won't think I'm viewer friendly. Oh, I see. You know how old those producers are? (He pauses for another second) 97 YEARS OLD! Look, I was there when they were watching the audition tapes for the first season. I saw them be wheeled into the room in their wheelchairs! Took up three freaking rows…slurping popcorn and soda through the tubes in their throats…I could barely understand the audition tapes with all those beeps coming from their "please-keep-me-alive computers".

But hey, you trust their opinions, fine. You know what? Pick another male model like that Justin guy. Have him stand there doing nothing while he just winks at the camera to making the girl's pants tingle. See if your asses merge to your chairs waiting for him to do something worth mentioning! Or better yet, pick another juvenile kid. Yeah, have fun picking between criminals that record themselves escaping from the cops! Guess what?! YOU'RE GOING TO GET MILLIONS OF THEM! OR HEY, PICK ANOTHER RETARD FOR THE WORLD TO LAUGH AT LIKE LINDSAY OR GEOFF! THANK GOD THEY'RE CONSIDERED EYE CANDY FOR THE WORLD OR THEIR PARENTS WOULD'VE SHOT THEM YEARS AGO! SPEAKING OF WHICH, IF YOU DON'T PICK ME, I HOPE YOU GET SO CRAMPED IN THE BRAIN, THAT YOU GO AND BLOW YOUR FACE OFF WITH A SHOTGUN! YOU'RE NOT WORTH HAVING ME ON YOUR ULTRA BADASS RALITY SHOW!

(He calms down) But hey, you still need convincing, check out my Myspace page. You can see footage of me dancing around some hot girls without any clothes on and…

"Dude, you can't post that on Myspace," a voice calls off camera.

YOU TOLD ME I COULD POST THAT!

**(New Contestant #8 – Alicia – Writer) **

(A sixteen year old girl is sitting under a tree, writing in her notebook. She has long, black hair that goes down to her shoulders. She is on the skinnier side, but not terribly thin and stands about 5 foot 5. She is wearing a simple white shirt with light blue jeans and sneakers and appears to be very laidback.)

Salutations, everyone. My name is Alicia. I am charmed to be your acquaintance. I believe I will be a beneficial and admired accession to your programming because I am compelling, vigorous, acute, and diplomatic. All four of these qualities will inevitably make me a fulmination to the others participants in this program. My gratitude goes out to you all for you time. Thank you.

**(New Contestant #9 – Aaron – The Science Fiction Nerd) **

(A fifteen year old scrawny boy is standing in his room. He has spiky hair and eyeglasses and is wearing a green t-shirt, regular blue jeans, and green sneakers. He is short, about 5 foot 4 and very skinny for his height and age.)

(He is speaking in a robotic tone while doing the robot) Greetings mortal humans! My identification is Aaron. Calculations indicate that the selection of me to be on the third season of Total Drama will result in an increase in ratings and 100% satisfaction and entertainment will be guaranteed. We request that you select Aaron for this season to prove these calculations to be correct. Thank you for your time! End Transmission.

(He stops doing the robot and starts speaking in his normal voice) Okay, I know I'm an uber-nerd, but in all seriousness, if you select me to be on the show, I promise you won't be sorry.

**(New Contestant #10 – Hannah – The Pianist) **

(A sixteen year old girl is sitting in front of a piano. She is dressed in a formal, black dress. Her orange hair is done up in a bun as she begins to play a very classical piece of music on the piano. Her eyes are closed as she lets her soul express itself on the piano. After thirty seconds, she stands up and takes a bow. Here, we can see she is about 5 foot 6 and is of average weight.)

I believe my song has spoken for me. Please select me!

**(New Contestant #11 – Rikki – Overweight Cross-Dresser) **

(A large seventeen year old boy wearing a tank top, revealing his large gut, and a long skirt is standing in front of the camera with a big grin on his face. His face is covered with makeup and his hair has been dyed Orange. He stands about 6 foot 2 and weights an amazing 315 pounds.)

Well hello there, people. I heard your little show needs some spice to it. Well, they don't get any spicier than yours truly, Rikki! Look at me! Aren't I sparkelicious? I'll make your show so exciting and delicious you'll be wondering why you didn't choose little ol' me for the first two seasons! I look forward to meeting you silly gooses shortly! Have a sparkly day!

_**END AUDITION TAPES**_

"Well people, what do you think of the eleven new contestants?" Chris smiled.

All was silent for a few minutes. Not even the sound of chirping crickets could be heard.

"OH TELL ME THAT LAST GUY WAS A JOKE!" Duncan pleaded.

"Afraid not," Chris laughed.

"Well, I think I'm going to need therapy once this season's over," Noah added.

"It's not that Rikki that concerns me," Bridgette admitted. "I'm more worried about that Greg guy…he seems like a real jerk!"

"I know…TOTALLY uncool," Geoff admitted.

"Loud…mean…not afraid to say what's on his mind…I like his style," Eva said.

"That Alicia…she totally hurt my head with her audition tape," Lindsay moaned as she massaged her temples.

"Mine too," Beth admitted. "But that Jason guy's one heck of a hunk!"

"Oh my gosh! Jason was so dreamy!" Katie swooned.

"Totally," Sadie agreed.

"I have to admit…I'm a bit of a fan of him myself," Justin smirked.

"What do you think Tyler?" Lindsay asked her boyfriend.

"They all seem okay…but that Brandon…I know I'm not the BEST athlete in the world, but at least my screw-ups don't cause any property damage…I don't know about him."

Elsewhere, DJ was having tears swell up in his eyes.

"That Jamie…it was so beautiful what she's doing…" he choked. "…Don't cry DJ," he told himself between sobs.

"Yeah…and it looks like Ezekiel will finally have someone he can relate to this season with that Jamie girl," Bridgette smiled as she shot a glance over to Ezekiel. Ezekiel sheepishly returned it with a smile, but only for a few seconds.

"Well, the Codester knows one thing: he's looking forward to getting to know that Amie chick!" Cody grinned as he licked his hand and ran it through his hair slyly.

"You don't really expect me to compete with those two geeks, do you?" Heather scoffed. "That robot wanna-be and that freak cartoonist?! Ugh! He'll probably drool at the very sight of me!"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about that," Gwen sighed. "I'm just glad I don't have to put up with two Heathers this season."

"Amen!" Leshawna agreed. "That Ali looks like bad news."

"Totally!" Trent replied. "Here's to us not competing against her this season…though I would have liked to get to know that Hannah girl more…"

"TRENT!" Gwen snapped.

"As a friend!" Trent immediately replied. "You know, we both share a common interest in music and all that. You know I'd never try to replace you, right Gwen?"

"Yes, I know?" Gwen smiled. She leaned in to get a kiss from Trent. But just as their lips were about to touch, Chris popped up between the two of them.

"Now, now you two! You're not contestants this season, so you two don't get to make out in front of the camera this time. Darn shame, I know."

"Does that mean you had to stop us from doing it this time?" Gwen asked, seeming annoyed.

"Yes, yes it does," Chris grinned.

Chris then stood in front of the camera and boldly stated, "**So who will come out on top this season? Will it be one of our old campers? Or one of our eleven new ones? What kind of Drama will unfold this time around? Find out next time as we officially begin TOTAL…DRAMA…MADNESS! **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: The Madness Begins

Chris McLean stood in front of the camera, which was being held by his newly hired cameraman.

"Make sure you're holding it steady! The opening sequence for the show is the most important sequence we can record, so don't screw it up!" he instructed.

"I know! You told me ten times already! Gosh!" Harold wheezed as he focused the camera. "I'm ready when you are!"

"Not quite yet," Chris replied as he finished putting hair treatment products in his hair. He quickly pulled out what appeared to be a Swiss-army knife. But when he opened one of the pockets, a comb was revealed. He combed his hair as nicely as he possible could and put his Swiss-army knife0comb thing back in his pocket. "Okay, roll 'em Harold!"

"Finally!" Harold muttered as he pressed the red button on his camera.

_**Intro**_

_Last time on Total…Drama…Action! _

_Fifteen campers battled it out for a chance to win $1,000,000 in an abandoned film lot. In the finale, it was down to the juvenile Duncan and the underdog uber-nerd, Harold, the bitterest of rivals all throughout the series of this show! The two battled it out in a grueling thirty minute challenge that had them go through twenty different movie-genre challenges. It was a close contest, but in the end, Harold shocked the world by claiming the win and the cool million bucks! _

_But now, with season two done and in the books, the producers have called for a third season in which eleven of the original campers were obligated through their contracts to compete: Geoff, Bridgette, Heather, Duncan, Courtney, Noah, Beth, Lindsay, Cody, Eva and Ezekiel. The other eleven originals are forced to work under me and Chef until this season is done and over with._

_Plus, to make things more interesting this season, the producers have signed up eleven new teens to compete against the eleven original campers that are sure to add much more intensity and drama to an already drama-packed show! We've got Joe the cartoonist, Jamie the sheltered country girl, Jason the over-achiever, Amie the dancing feminist, Brandon the daredevil soccer star, Ali the spoiled princess, Greg the total jerk, Alicia the writer with an obese vocabulary, Aaron the science fiction geek, Hannah the classical pianist, and Rikki the overweight cross-dresser! _

_Together, these eleven campers will be living here at Camp Wawanakwa once again where the must compete against each other to survive the dreaded marshmallow ceremony, where once every three days, someone will be voted out of camp, walk the dreaded dock of shame, and take a ride on the boat of losers. In the end, one camper will win the grand prize: Two Million dollars! _

_This season is sure to be our most action-packed, dramatic, and exciting season we've ever recorded for you, the viewers. And now, buckle your safety belts because it's time to begin! Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to TOTAL…DRAMA…MADNESS! _

_**Opening Sequence**_

(Cameras pop out of wildlife areas throughout the deserted Camp Wawanakwa campgrounds as the theme song begins to play)

_Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine_

_You guys are on my mind_

(A Camera jumps off a large cliff and into the water, where a shark is sneaking up behind Rikki, who is in a bikini. When the shark sees what he's about to chomp on, it gets a horrified look on its face and swims off in terror)

_You asked me what I wanted to be_

_And I think the answer is plain to see_

(Bridgette and Geoff are enjoying a ride on Bridgette's surfboard just above where Rikki is descended. Seconds later, Rikki pulls himself up next to the two, slightly shocking and disturbing the two of them.)

_I want to be famous!_

(Brandon is juggling a soccer ball and kicks it off screen. Suddenly, a horrified expression comes across his face and runs as fast as he can from a wolverine with a black eye. Ami watches from a distance and just rolls her eyes.)

_I want to live close to the sun_

(Ali and Heather are having a cat fight over who gets to use the communal restrooms next)

_Pack your bags cause I've already won_

(Aaron is swinging his Jedi sword around like a samurai warrior when Duncan comes up from behind and gives him a major wedgie, laughing as Courtney rolls her eyes behind him.)

_Everything to do! Nothing in my way! _

_I'll get there one day! _

(Lindsay and Beth are lying on the dock of shame in their bikinis soaking up some sun. Nearby, Greg slowly comes up from behind some bushes and snaps a picture of the two sunbathing, smiling greatly.)

_I want to be famous! _

(Noah is sitting under a nearby tree besides Alicia, who is writing in her notebook. On the other side, Cody is sitting by Hannah, who is listening to some music from an ipod. Noah and Cody try to kiss the girl sitting next to them on the cheek, but both move out of the way and the two end up accidentally kissing each other on the lips. When they open their eyes, they scream in terror)

_Na Na Na Na Na! Na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-naaaaaaaaah! _

(Joe is walking by when he notices the incident, laughing. But he's not paying attention and he bumps into Chef, sending papers flying from his drawing pad. He scatters frantically to pick them up, but Chef reveals to the world that there are drawing of skimpy women with large breasts on them.)

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! _

(Jason and Eva are playing a game of chess. Jason makes a move that puts Eva into checkmate. The fitness guru shouts out in anger and swipes the board from the table, sending chess pieces flying everywhere, startling Jason).

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!_

(Ezekiel and Jamie are sitting next to one another at the campfire ceremony, gazing into each others eyes. Suddenly, they realize that everyone is watching them as the camera zooms out to reveal everyone, even those on off-camera duties, looking at them while whistling the last notes of the opening song. Light flash above their heads reading "TOTAL DRAMA MADNESS").

_**END OPENING**_

"Welcome to Total Drama Madness!" Chris proudly announced. "In just a few minutes, the twenty-two campers competing on our show will be boarding Camp Wawanakwa on the dock of shame and greeting each other, old and new!"

"They are?! WHOO-HOO! I can't wait to meet everyone!" an excited voice boomed out.

"Owen! Shush!" Chris cried to the camera. "You're a cameraman now! No talking!"

"Oh…sorry…" Owen sheepishly apologized.

"Anyways," Chris continued. "It looks like our first camper is arriving back at Camp Wawanakwa!"

The first yacht to pull up to the dock of shame carried the all-to familiar CIT from the two previous seasons. She had a somewhat grim look on her face as she boarded Camp Wawanakwa.

"Courtney! Welcome back to camp!" Chris greeted.

"Yeah, good to be back, I suppose," Courtney huffed. "I assume you know of the lawsuit I'm preparing to present to the courts if I get screwed out of this season like I did the first season?"

"We sure do!" Chris smiled. "And we've got tons of lawyers ready to battle for us in case it happens."

"Well, just make sure no one cheats me out of the grand prize and there won't be a problem," Courtney assured as she went ashore to Wawanakwa once again.

The next boat also had a familiar face onboard: music was blaring as everyone's favorite party animal moved to the beat. Once his yacht docked the dock of shame, he hopped off with his luggage and greeted Chris with a smile on his face.

"Geoff! My man! What's up?"

"Not much! I'm excited as ever to get competing again…since I didn't' get much of a chance to in the second season and all."

"I assume you and Bridgette got better control of your hormones by now, am I right?" Chris asked.

Before Geoff could answer, a blue blur raced by Chris and grabbed Geoff in a massive bear hug and started to kiss him. Geoff was startled at first, but when he realized that it was Bridgette, he immediately kissed her back.

"I'm guessing that's a no," Chris replied, feeling uncomfortable about the two making out so close to him. "Okay, take it over by Courtney kids," Chris ordered, pushing the two on land.

Still kissing, the two made their way over next to Courtney. She, like Chris, was uncomfortable having Geoff and Bridgette making out right next to her.

"Or for cryin' out loud…get a room you two!" Courtney huffed.

"Why? It's kind of hot if you ask me," a male voice called over from his yacht.

"I'm getting goose bumps," Courtney shivered. "That can only mean…"

"You got it princess! I'm back!" Duncan called over.

"Duncan! Welcome back!" Chris greeted the criminal.

"There aren't any surprises in store this season, are there?" Duncan sneered.

"A few here and there," Chris admitted.

"Alright then," Duncan smiled. "At least you're honest with me. I like that."

He then made his way past Geoff and Bridgette, who were still making out, and put an arm around Courtney.

"Glad to see me again, princess?" he smiled.

"No!" Courtney flushed, throwing his arms off of her and facing the other way.

"She missed me," Duncan whispered under his breath.

"Up next, we've got our first new camper making his Camp Wawanakwa debut!" Chris announced. "Please welcome our soccer star Brandon!"

The yacht pulled up to the dock and the soccer star jumped off excitedly dressed in his full soccer attire carrying a gym bag and his prized soccer ball.

"Brandon! Welcome!" Chris greeted.

"Thanks dude!" Brandon replied, smiling.

"So are you ready to face off against some of the fiercest competitors and challenges this world has to offer you?"

"Of course," Brandon replied with a cocky attitude. "I'll take on anything this island, you, or anyone else has to offer me. I've never said no to anything in the past and I'm not about to now!"

"He's toast," Duncan sighed.

"Oh yeah!" Brandon called over, seeming annoyed. "I'll bet you I can do anything that they make us do on this show!"

"Prove it!" Duncan laughed. "Jump in the water and swim to shore."

"Piece of cake!" Brandon replied. Without hesitation, he dove into the water not even bothering to strip down. Seconds later, he was screaming as he swam ashore as fast as he could trying to pull leeches, crabs, and other sea creatures off his body.

"That was so immature!" Courtney criticized the laughing delinquent.

"Hey, he was going to learn one way or the other," Duncan laughed.

Chris was trying his best not to snicker as he watched Brandon ripped a crab off his ear. Suddenly, he heard a light saber noise behind him. There stood a scrawny, spiky-haired nerd wielding his light saber and wearing a cape.

"Aaron! Welcome to camp bro!" Chris greeted.

Aaron didn't answer Chris as he studied the environment around him intensely.

"Is this the ever so famous Camp Wawanakwa?" he asked, seeming concerned.

"This is it!"

"…I'm going to need more than the force to help me out on this one," he sighed as he walked ashore. "I think I'd rather be facing the hoard on WOW right now." Then, as if he remembered something, he turned back to Chris. "By the way, how's the wireless internet here?"

"What internet?" Chris asked.

The other campers and Chris, even Bridgette and Geoff, covered their ears as Aaron's cry of terror filled the campgrounds.

"My hunter! My Night Elf! My mage! How will they survive in the World of Warcraft without me there to guide them to victory?!" he cried out in anguish.

"Hello Harold junior," Duncan sighed.

"What in the world was that ghastly shrieking?" a voice called from the next yacht approaching.

The campers looked on board to see a girl wearing the latest fashion clothes. Her tan was glistening in the sun and her blonde hair shone brightly as the sun reflected off it. As she boarded the dock, she grabbed what looked to be a large number of suitcases off the yacht.

"Ali! Glad you could make it!" Chris greeted.

"Ugh! Where are we?" Ali demanded, studying the campground. "Are we even still on earth?"

"Sure are," Chris answered.

"Ugh! I simply cannot stay at these campgrounds with these lower-class people! I must have my own trailer with a make-up room, kitchen with a personal chef, and a king-size feather bed."

"Sorry, Ali. But there's only one of those trailers here and I already occupy it," Chris grinned proudly.

"Ugh!" Ali scoffed. "I'll see to it that you hear from my parents and our ten lawyers about this!" Ali threatened.

Before Chris could retort, Aaron came racing up to the dock with a big smile on his face.

"Alas, my princess," he said all dreamy. "You may not have a castle to live in, but I shall be your willing servant."

"Whatever. Carry my bags," she ordered.

"Yes, my queen," Aaron smiled. He struggled to pick up a couple of the bags, but finally got them to budge after a few minutes. As he struggled to carry her bags, Ali made her way on shore. She stood next to Geoff and Bridgette, who were still making out. At first, she scoffed at the sight of them. But as she got a closer look, she became more intrigued as she studied Geoff.

'Yummy,' she whispered to herself as she stared at Geoff's bare chest.

"Wow…pathetic," Chris chuckled as he watched Aaron struggling to pull her bags ashore. "Anyways, I believe that our next camper has just pulled up!"

Sure enough, another yacht has just docked on the sock of shame as a girl with a notebook came ashore.

"Welcome to camp Alicia!" Chris greeted the writer.

"What in heaven's name is this anemic atmosphere?" she asked as she shockingly looked over to the campsite.

"This is Camp Wawanakwa, dear Alicia," Chris smiled.

"Impervious!" Alicia retorted. "A campground does not require mauling bears, ravenous man-eating sharks, repugnant yetis, or venerable broken-down cabins!"

Chris and the other campers present just stared blankly at Alicia for a few seconds before Chris finally said, "You're a wordy one, aren't you?"

"Well, one must a large abundance of vocabulary words if one is to be a lucrative author that…"

"NERD!" Chris shouted out laughing. "Now go join the other campers before you give us all a headache."

"How preposterous," Alicia growled as she went ashore.

As Chris chuckled to himself, the next yacht drove by dropping off the next camper. Instantly, Bridgette stopped kissing Geoff as she sensed that danger had arrived on the campgrounds. Before she had a chance to respond, she heard heavy footsteps coming in her direction. She turned around and found herself staring into the dark eyes of her former teammate.

"Uh…hi Eva," Bridgette nervously chuckled as Eva glared at her.

"I hope you're ready for a rough season," Eva chuckled. "And I'm not referring to the torturous challenges that Chris has in store for us."

"Huh? You're still griping about that?" Brandon asked in disbelief. "You need to learn to let that stuff go."

Instantly, everyone backed away from where Brandon stood. Before Brandon could ask why, he found Eva standing right in front of him, her face three inches from his. Her eyes were burning holes through his head.

"Don't…ever…tell…me…what…to…do," she growled.

"Yeah…sure," Brandon nervously replied.

"Eva's here!" Chris called over.

"Yeah, we kind of see that," Duncan called back sarcastically.

As Chris watched with interest what was happening onshore, he failed to notice that another yacht had arrived. The instant the person stepped off the yacht and onto the dock of shame, every single hair on every single body part of every single person was standing up on end.

"I still can't believe I'm back here," a familiar raven-haired queen bee scoffed.

"Nice to see you two," Chris replied. "What happened? Did a badger crawl up your shorts?"

"Oh shut it Chris," Heather snapped.

As Heather stormed ashore, she failed to notice Aaron staring at her with a twinkle in his eyes.

"It's an honor to meet your acquaintance," Aaron happily called over.

"I don't know who you are nor do I care," Heather simply replied, not bothering to look at Aaron.

"Oh yeah…she digs me," Aaron happily said aloud.

"Yeah, we can all tell," called over a voice with a sarcastic tone to it. Everyone looked down the dock of shame and saw Noah walking down with that 'Dear-God-Are-You-Kidding-Me' expression on his face as he looked at the campers already there, old and new.

"Hey, missed you…buddy," Duncan grinned evilly as he cracked his knuckles.

"Nice, you don't have the guy that beat you in the finale here to torture so you turn to the brains of the outfit. Nice step forward big guy," Noah replied.

Instantly, Duncan grabbed Noah in a headlock. "Want a free sample, nerd?"

"Um, that's okay. Can you kindly release my head?"

Duncan looked at Chris on the dock of shame to see if he was watching. When he saw that he was busy greeting Cody, who had just arrived, he decided to give the egghead a noogie.

"OW! LET GO!" Noah screamed.

"Sorry, junior, but there aren't any deer around at the moment," Duncan laughed as he mercilessly continued to rub his knuckles across Noah's head.

Cody was now approaching the campers with his famous toothless grin.

"Whassup guys," Cody asked, trying to sound macho. "Psyched to be back. Heather looking good as always, Geoff and Bridgette are making out again…hot…, and here's two girls I've never met before," he said intriguingly, studying Alicia and Ali. "Glad you two could make it."

"In your dreams geek," Ali scoffed.

"I know a lot of girls back at school think you're the emblem of sexy, but I'm not one of them," Alicia assured him.

"Wait…what?" Cody asked, seeming shocked.

"It means the symbol of sex," Alicia sighed.

"No, I knew that," Cody assured her. "What was that first part?"

"Campers, please welcome Greg!" Chris called over, interrupting Alicia and Cody's conversation.

Greg, the six-foot built blonde stepped off the yacht and was greeted by Chris.

"Welcome to Wawanakwa Greg," Chris smiled.

"Yeah, whatever pretty boy," Greg huffed. "Where's the bathroom? I've been holding it ever since I got onboard."

"Pick a tree dude," Chris replied.

"Wait…I thought there were communal bathrooms," Greg asked.

"Nope. Not anymore. The plumbing system was rusting, so we had to take it out. From now on, you'll be bathing in the river and doing your personal business in the woods."

"WHAT?!" Ali and Heather cried out in horror. "No showers?!"

"Sorry," Chris laughed. "Oh! When you bathe in the river, just be careful: there are some ill-tempered bass in there."

"Oh yeah, I forgot: this show takes place in a third world hellhole," Greg huffed as he walked ashore.

"Uh….right," Chris shrugged. "And now, let's welcome our very own comic artist, Joe!"

The next yacht indeed was carrying the cartoonist with the melon-shaped head. Joe was smiling greatly, eager to arrive on land. His yacht landed next to the dock of shame and Joe exited with pride.

"Hi every…" Joe never got to finish his sentence as he tripped over a loose board on the dock and tumbled ashore, papers flying everywhere. Joe frantically picked up the papers and tried to shove them back in his notepad.

"Here, you missed one dude," Chris said, picking up a piece of paper that landed by his feet.

"Thanks mate," Joe replied. But when he went to take the picture from Chris, Chris immediately pulled it back, studying it intriguingly.

"Ooh la la! What do we have here?" Chris grinned.

Before Joe had a chance to beg Chris to stop, Chris immediately held the piece of paper in front of Owen's camera for the whole world to see: three ladies wearing skimpy pirate outfits with a fair amount of cleavage showing from their large breasts. Owen did his best to try and maintain his control, but he found himself drooling over the drawing of the sexy female pirates.

Joe, who was now beat red in the face, snatched the drawing and shoved it back in his notebook and made his way over to the other campers.

"That was awesome Joe! That's bound to bring in the ratings! Nice job man," Chris called over. "Heh, this is sure to give me a bonus in my next paycheck," Chris chuckled under his breath.

Joe stood a little further away from the rest of the campers and avoided eye contact with them as long as possible.

"Sicko," Heather huffed glaring at Joe.

"…he's gonna die…" Eva snarled, staring right at Joe.

"Could I have that picture you drew? I'll gladly pay," Cody smiled.

"Hey! What do you know?" Greg laughed. "Now I know who to steal from! I'll be able to keep myself happy at nights."

Just then, loud music could be heard from the next yacht. Everyone looked up to see a girl in a red skirt that went down to her knees, a red jacket over a white t-shirt, and blonde hair was partying hard on the yacht as she danced enthusiastically to the beat of the music.

"Amie!" Chris called out. "Welcome to camp!"

"Thanks, dude!" Amie replied as she jumped off the boat without missing a beat to her song. "It's, like, so AWESOME to be here! I can't wait to get this party started!"

"Awesome!" Geoff called over, stopping his make out session with Bridgette momentarily to greet the dancer.

Amie walked aboard the dock and stood next to Brandon, who smiled at the sight of her.

"Hey babe," Brandon greeted smoothly. "Nice to meet you. I'm Brandon."

Amie's smile faded for a moment and she turned to glare at Brandon. "Don't ever call me babe," she replied coldly.

"Yeah…sure," Brandon agreed, seeming somewhat ashamed. Amie then turned back towards the dock, still fuming a little. But Brandon looked back at her and just smiled.

Another yacht was just pulling away from the dock of shame and a girl wearing what appeared to be an expensive, formal, black dress stood on the dock with her keyboard and belongings.

"Hannah! Glad you could make it," Chris smiled at the pianist.

"Thanks," she replied. "Say, do we have any electrical outlets here to plug in my keyboard?"

"I'm sure we have one here somewhere," Chris replied. "Good luck finding it though."

"Great," Hannah sighed. Without another word, she just walked ashore and stood next to Cody.

"Hey! Is that the newest keyboard from Yamaha?!' Cody asked her excitedly.

"Um…yeah…" Hannah answered.

"COOL! I've wanted to get my hands on one for so long!" Cody replied excitedly. "What features does it have?! Does it have the new Star Wars sound effects option?!"

"Yes it does…but I never use it," Hannah admitted.

Hannah and Cody continued to talk about the new keyboard as the next two campers arrived back at Camp Wawanakwa together squealing excitedly.

"Wait…I thought that Katie and Sadie weren't supposed to be in this season," Heather spoke.

"They're not," Chris called over. "It's Lindsay and Beth!"

"Oh my gosh! We're back!" Lindsay squealed to Beth, holding her hands.

"I know! Isn't it exciting?!" Beth squealed in return.

"Sheesh, I thought we had gotten rid of that when we got rid of Katie and Sadie," Duncan groaned.

"What do you expect from those two losers?" Heather sneered as she saw Lindsay and Beth race towards her. When their eyes met, Lindsay and Beth's attitudes changed quickly: their smiles faded and their excited eyes became cold as they glared at Heather.

"Careful Lindsay…she might infect you if you touch her," Beth giggled.

"Her? It's a her? I would just call it and it…I'm not sure if it's even human," Lindsay giggled in response.

"Oh, that was so funny, I almost forgot to laugh," Heather grunted as they both walked by her.

"But she DID forget to laugh," Lindsay said to Beth seeming confused.

"Don't worry about it," Beth assured her.

Lindsay and Beth stood next to Greg, who was eyeing Lindsay with interest.

"Forget that cartoonists pictures," he said to himself and took a picture of Lindsay with his camera.

"Campers! Jamie has just arrived!" Chris announced.

The small town country girl shyly made her way aboard the dock of shame.

"Wow," she whispered in amazement. "So that was what a yacht was like…I could get used to that!"

"Sorry, but you'll have to wait until this show's over before you get to experience anything that nice again," Chris assured her. "In the meantime, welcome to Camp Wawanakwa."

"Thanks," Jamie responded and made her way ashore. On her way, she pulled out a locket around her neck and opened it. Inside was a picture of her and her older brother.

"I'm here brother," she whispered. "I promise, I will win this one for you."

The next yacht to pull up had a tall, well-dressed young man on it with a sports jacket and designer jeans. His hair almost seemed to glow in the sun. He proudly strutted aboard Camp Wawanakwa.

"This is Jason," Chris introduced the other campers. "I think he's going to be your fiercest competition this season, seeing how he's won at almost everything he's done in his life."

"Thanks Chris," Jason replied. He then turned back to look at the yacht he had arrived in. "So are those the best yachts you have?"

"Sure are," Chris beamed proudly.

"I must say, I am disappointed," Jason admitted. "The yacht I own is much bigger and faster than these ones are. In fact, I used it to win a yacht race last year: it was deemed no contest in my part."

Before Chris had a chance to respond, Jason had strutted ashore.

"I'm going to enjoy torturing that one," Chris muttered to the camera.

As Jason met everyone on shore, the air was suddenly filled with a Turkish fast paced song. Everyone looked out in the water and saw quite the disturbing sight: there was an obese teenager wearing makeup and dressed in ladies pants and a tank top belly-dancing to the music.

Heather's cheeks puffed and she turned her head away as she allowed the vomit to exit her mouth. Ali and Alicia also turned their heads away with disgust. Lindsay just stared at the approaching camper, seeming very confused indeed. The boys also grimaced at the sight of this new camper making his way to Wawanakwa.

Finally, he reached the dock and walked ashore.

"Everyone! Say hello to Rikki!" Chris announced.

"Hello sweethearts!" Rikki called over queerly. "It's super to meet you all!"

"Yeah, it's super to meet you too…super nauseating," Greg muttered to himself.

"Good lord! Make yourself decent!" Aaron pleaded, covering his eyes.

"Oh, you'll get used to it silly," Rikki called over. "I know Chris here is, what with that handsome Chef dressing in dresses all the time. Say, where is he?"

"Uh…he's not here right now. You'll meet him later," Chris told him, seeming slightly disturbed that anyone could even consider Chef to be handsome when in a dress.

"Why thanks you silly goose," Rikki replied patting Chris' face before walking ashore.

When Rikki wasn't looking, Chris quivered in disgust as he watched Rikki strut ashore.

"Ugh…and here, ladies and gentlemen, is our final camper to arrive and participate in this season!" Chris called out. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back the home-schooled Ezekiel!"

Ezekiel slowly made his way off the yacht, seeming somewhat unsure of what everyone's reactions would be.

"Uh…hi everyone," he slowly greeted.

Ezekiel was welcomed with the silent treatment for the most part: Bridgette just huffed as he made his way ashore; Eva glared daggers at Ezekiel; Duncan smirked an unfriendly smile; Heather and Ali just sneered and turned their heads away from the prairie boy; Joe, Brandon, and Aaron just rubbed the back of their heads as they turned away from him uncomfortably. There was only one person who didn't give Ezekiel the silent treatment.

"YOU!" Amie bellowed out and raced up to Ezekiel with fire in her eyes. "YOU'RE THAT SEXIST PIG FROM SEASON ONE!"

"Uh…yeah, that's me," Ezekiel nervously chuckled.

"How dare you! How dare you show your face back here?! You've got some nerve to allow yourself to compete on this show after all those horrific things you said about us girls!"

"I know! I know!" Ezekiel assured her.

"You know and yet you come back!" Amie growled. "I oughta throw you to the wolves and watch as they slowly chew you up and spit you out! And when you see me and call for help, I'll just laugh and say 'But Ezekiel, I'm just a helpless little girl. I can't help because I'm not strong enough to! You even said so'!"

Ezekiel winced as Amie lunged her hands to grab Ezekiel but found herself restrained by Eva.

"Settle down there killer," Eva coolly said as a furious Amie was still reaching and clawing at a terrified Ezekiel.

"Th-Thanks," Ezekiel chuckled.

"Don't misunderstand me," Eva glared. "I'm only stopping her because I want the honor of taking you down myself."

"All right campers! That's enough!" Chris snapped. "Save it for the show when the challenges and drama's going to bring in the ratings."

A fuming Amie, an irritated Eva, and a humiliated Ezekiel made their way back onshore to join the other campers, who were watching all this in shock.

"Okay campers!" Chris announced, "Now that everyone's here, it's that time once again: GROUP PHOTO!"

Everyone instantly moaned and groaned at the thought of having to do another group photo.

"Everyone gather on the dock of shame!" Chris announced. But to his surprise, no one was moving.

"Do I look like I have 'DUMBASS' written all over my face?" Greg asked.

"If you think for one second we're falling for that again, you've got another thing coming!" Courtney bellowed out.

"I watched the first season. I'm not going on there with more that two hundred pounds worth of people," Jason replied.

"Sorry sweetie, but I just did my hair and don't want to risk getting it wet so soon," Rikki called out, playing with his wig.

"And I'm just not going on that dock," Heather barked out.

Finally, an irritated Chris called out, "Okay! Fine! We'll take the picture on the beach! Everyone, over by the water!"

Satisfied with Chris' choice for a location, everyone made their way over to the beach shore. In the back row, Greg just stood there with his arms crossed and looking very bored, Rikki smiled and waved queerly at the camera, Geoff was standing with Bridgette on his shoulders, Ali beside Geoff smiling greatly while looking at him in the corner of her eye, and Jason flashed the camera his best smile. In the middle row, Heather struck a pose for the camera while standing next to an eager and excited Aaron, Noah stood there with that same lazy look in his eyes that he always had with no smile, Brandon held his soccer ball over his head while flashing his best smile, Lindsay and Beth faced each other while holding one another's hands smiling eagerly at the camera, Eva just folded her arms and gave her fiercest look, Duncan pulled in an irritated Courtney next to him and smiled evilly at the camera, and a disgruntled Ezekiel stood a few inches away from the rest of the group, not smiling at all. In the front row, Joe sat next to Cody, putting his arms around him in a buddy-like manner, Hannah and Alicia sat back to back from one another and smiled at the camera, and Amie sat back to back with Jamie, both smiling.

"All right campers! Say MADNESS!" Chris called out as he pulled out his camera.

"MADNESS!" the campers cried out in union. But right before Chris could take a picture, a huge wave came crashing ashore and splashed all the campers' right as Chris took the picture. When the picture came out, the campers were still in their poses, but looked highly irritated because they were wet.

"Nice," Chris laughed as he looked at the picture developing. "I may keep this one for myself."

The campers all glared at Chris.

"Okay guys, dry off and meet me in the cafeteria in ten minutes for lunch and your first challenge!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Chris – **Don't forget, we've still got the confession cam set up here! So don't forget to use it to tell the audience how you really feel or just to get something off your chest!

**Greg – **Um…okay…how do I describe my emotions right now? …I'm pissed.

**Geoff – **At first, I wasn't too stoked about coming back. But with Bridgette here, it won't be so bad. THIS IS SO SWEET!

**Jason – **Well, winning this game shouldn't be too hard. It's like a simple game of chess. I've won numerous chess games in my life so it should be easy!

**Heather – **I still can't believe I let that man pull me back into this contest! (She huffs in frustration) Oh well, as long as I'm here, I might as well win.

**Alicia – **Currently, I am irked about this whole status quo…nevertheless, I remain intrepid that I will pull through this imbroglio.

**Eva – **Finally! I get a second chance to prove myself! Brace yourselves everyone! This time, I'm going to show you all what I'm really made of!

**Joe – **(His face his still beat red) That…was…so…embarrassing…

**Bridgette – **The other campers seem nice enough. I just hope I can get along with them as well as I got along with all the other ones in previous seasons…and that I don't get voted off early for making out with Geoff again.

**Hannah** – Well, at least I got a warm welcome from one of the campers. So far, I'm off to a good start here.

**Cody – **Hannah seems really cool. I didn't think I'd meet anyone else here who was so into keyboard as I am. But that Ali…wow! Looks like the Codemeister is gonna have a GOOD season.

**Jamie – **(she is looking at her locket still) I promised…I promised him I would win this…I'm not going to let him down!

**Lindsay – **(She is standing up and looking the other way again) Okay, I forget…where is that camera?

**Amie – **Except for that sexist pig Ezekiel and that creep Brandon being here, I think I'll be able to get along with everyone here no problem.

**Noah – **Honestly, no I'm not thrilled to be back…I'm with Gwen: I'm getting a lawyer to read everything before I sign it once this is over.

**Aaron – **(He looks excited) What with Heather, Lindsay, and Ali being here, I think I'm going to enjoy it here thoroughly. The force is strong with me today.

**Beth – **I don't care if I win or lose this season: as long as that Heather witch doesn't win, I can walk away happy. (She gets an evil grin on her face) Oh yeah, revenge is going to be sweet!

**Brandon – **WHOO! I'm psyched! I know for a fact that if I put me best foot forward, I'll win this no problem at all!

**Duncan – **Pretty much, I'm bummed out to be back here. But hey…there's more places and options for me and Courtney to hide in the woods…which makes it sound all the more better for me.

**Ali – **Well, this is certainly going to be a treacherous eight weeks…ugh, why did I bother doing this? I'm already richer than all these idiots combined…but then again, that hunk Geoff may make this all worthwhile.

**Courtney – **Well, as long as no one tries to cheat their way to victory again, I KNOW I'm going to win it all this time! And no one, not even Duncan, is going to stand in my way! (She looks at the ground) What the…DUNCAN! YOU JUST HAD TO CARVE OUR INITIALS ON THIS FLOOR, DIDN'T YOU!

**Rikki – **Hey, all you silly gooses out there! I hope you root for me to go all the way! Have a sparklicious day!

**Ezekiel – **(He just looks miserable and doesn't say anything).

_**END**_

**Well, there you go everyone! Stay tuned because the first challenge is about to get started! Comment me with questions and reviews! I love them! **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Pirates of Camp Wawanakwa

The twenty-two contestants, old and new, headed for the cafeteria where Chef and a familiar face awaited everyone.

"DJ! Dude!" Geoff happily called over to his friend and former teammate.

"What's up guys?" DJ happily greeted everyone.

"What're you doing back there?" Beth asked.

"Well, Chris thought that it'd be a good idea that I stay in the kitchen with Chef and help him out since I've proven to be a master cook…plus he wants to make sure Chef doesn't make any illegal alliances this season."

"SHUT IT, BABY CHEEKS!" Chef hollered at him. Then, he turned towards the contestants and hollered out, "AGAIN, THIS IS MY KITCHEN! I SERVE THE FOOD HERE! YOU WILL EAT WHAT I COOK, WHEN I COOK IT, AND HOW I COOK IT! UNDERSTAND?"

"Yessir!" All the campers called back in response.

"Yeah, I can handle it," Duncan smiled. "What with DJ back there helping you, it'll be like Christmas dinner every…"

"NO SPECIAL MAMA'S SAUCE EITHER!" Chef hollered back, causing all the campers to groan.

Greg was first in line to receive his meal. Chef threw a brown slop onto his plate, which annoyed Greg greatly.

"Aw, what the hell is **this**?" Greg complained.

"That, boy, is twice cooked pork!"

"Looks more like twice-eaten pork," Greg retorted.

"I'll have you know that my mama taught me this recipe and I grew up eating it every other day!"

"…wow…no wonder you never smile."

Acting on instinct, everyone ducked to the floor as Chef hurdled Greg across the cafeteria and crashing in the wall.

"ANYONE ELSE WANNA TRASH TALK MY MAMMA'S COOKING?!" Chef bellowed out furiously.

Greg was laying on the ground, groaning in pain as he struggled to get back on his feet. Surprisingly, he found himself being lifted onto his feet by someone.

"Ugh, thank you," he whimpered. "That freak show just grabbed me out of nowhere and…AUGH! NOT YOU!" he suddenly screamed.

"Yup, it's me," the orange-haired beauty from the previous two seasons smiled. "So, did Greg miss E-scope after all these years?"

"OH DEAR GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"Well, E-scope's a camerawoman now!" Izzy proudly boasted showing Greg her camera. "But hey, look at you. It's been too long! How have you been? I haven't heard from you ever since I moved out of your house."

"Wait…psycho-girl here used to live with you?" Heather asked, her attention and everyone else's being drawn to the scene.

"Yes…yes she did…until we found out she was there," Greg admitted.

"Oh yeah, Greg and I were seeing each other for a few months," Izzy commented.

"Before the cops took her and her binoculars away," Greg added. He then turned his attention back to Izzy. "Why are you here? Why are you next to me? You know you're in violation of my restraining order!"

"Oh, you're wrong there," Izzy smirked. "The restraining order states that Izzy isn't allowed in the same country as you. It doesn't say anything about E-scope!"

"Oh, dear God, what did I do to deserve this?" Greg whimpered.

Elsewhere, Jamie wasn't paying attention to the situation between Izzy and Greg. She was looking for a place to sit at one of the two tables. She studied those that were already sitting down, deciding whether or not they would make good friends.

She saw Brandon talking to Noah and Jason about his many accomplishments on the soccer field. Noah was ignoring him for the most part, seeing how sports weren't his forte. Jason, on the other hand, was constantly one-upping Brandon by telling him about his own soccer adventures and how each year he played he became the team MVP, much to Brandon's annoyance. Jamie decided that they probably weren't the best crowd to sit with on her first day: she didn't want to get into any debates.

Duncan and Courtney were sitting a little further down the same table Courtney was constantly telling Duncan to stop trying to nibble her ear. Then, when the cameras weren't on them, she welcomed his nibbling quite warmly.

"You really shouldn't allow him to do that, you know," Amie commented. "As a woman, you are entitled to your space and rights as an independent human being without that pig seeking you out to fulfill his sexual desires."

"Aw, lighten up Amie," Duncan smiled. "Princess here doesn't mind, do you babe?"

"Hm?" Courtney sighed happily. She then realized Amie was staring at them cuddling so close to one another. Quickly, she pulled herself away from Duncan and scoffed him for being a slime ball.

Jamie seemed very confused by this and thought it best to head over to the other table. Over there, Cody, Aaron, and Joe were having an interesting conversation.

"So you draw pirates Joe?" Cody asked intriguingly.

"Sure do mate," Joe smiled. "It's this story I have going about this band of pirates coming to the shores of America under order of their fathers and learning the ways of the pirates in a public high school while staying with this family in New York."

"Inquiry," Alicia stated as she sat down to join the conversation. "What do female plunderers with excessive implants have to do with pirating?"

All was silent at the table as they awaited Joe's response.

"Uh…their girlfriends?" Joe nervously responded.

"I like the idea," Cody smirked.

"Affirmative," Aaron agreed. "Ah, if only I was lucky enough to have a girlfriend with a body hot enough for the Gods…I would be the happiest night elf in the World…of Warcraft."

"Me too," Cody replied. "Well, actually, I'd be the happiest dwarf."

"You have an account?" Aaron excitedly asked. "What level are you on?"

Thus, the nerd talk between Cody and Aaron was officially underway, leaving Joe and Alicia sitting there awkwardly. Not wanting to share in their awkwardness, Jamie moved down near the end of the table. Sitting there alone was Ezekiel, stirring and playing with the slop on his plate.

"Looking for a place to sit?" a voice suddenly asked form behind. A startled Jamie turned around to see Bridgette smiling at her.

"Oh…uh…yeah, sure," Jamie replied.

"Well, come on over to where we're sitting," Bridgette invited. "We're just settling down for our…uh…lunch…"

Jamie and Bridgette stared at their plates, not sure if they dared to touch the substance on them. As they sat down, they were joined shortly after by Geoff, who was then later joined by Ali.

"Hey there cowboy," Ali said to Geoff, studying the party animal lustfully.

"Uh, hey…Ali was it?"

"Oh, you remembered me. You're not as dumb as television makes you out to be."

"Gee! Thanks!" Geoff replied excitedly.

Bridgette couldn't help but feel annoyed as Ali studied her boyfriend. She shot daggers at Ali as she watched her look over Geoff hungrily.

"Hey, Bridgette," Jamie spoke up suddenly. "Who is that guy at the end of the table again? I forget."

Bridgette looked at where Jamie was pointing and saw the home-schooled prairie boy sitting at the end of the table, looking very glum indeed.

"That's Ezekiel," Bridgette answered, seeming somewhat disgusted at the mention of his name.

"He's the one everyone shouted at earlier, right? What did he do to get everyone so mad at him?"

"Lots of different things," Ali responded, taking her eyes off an uncomfortable Geoff finally. "He called us girls inferior to men!"

"He called us helpless people who needed men to watch out for them," Eva added as she sat down at the table next to Ali.

"He told DJ over there that his reasons for pulling out of Total Drama Action last season weren't selfless, thus questioning his integrity!" Hannah added as she sat down next to an excited Cody.

"He cost us the million dollars from season one during the finale," Lindsay and Beth said.

"He put his filthy finger up that icky little nose of his," Rikki claimed, cringing at the thought. "Disgustingness!"

"Dudes! Lay off home-school," Geoff finally spoke. "Seriously, can't you see the poor guy feels bad enough about the whole thing already?"

"I have to agree with Geoff," Bridgette added. "I mean, Ezekiel and I aren't exactly the best of friends, but even I know when to let something go."

"Oh, me too," Ali innocently said. "I was just answering Jamie's question here. You know, because that's what kind of person I am."

Bridgette just sighed at Ali's comment. She decided to ignore the rest of the conversation and turned her attention back to her food. But then she noticed Jamie staring at Ezekiel. It almost seemed that Jamie was looking at him with pity. She looked over at Ezekiel and when she saw how hurt and sad he seemed, she began to feel pity for the home-schooled boy as well.

"ARGH! AHOY MATEYS!" a voice boomed through the cafeteria. Everyone was startled and turned towards where the source of the sound came from. Standing there at the entrance of the cafeteria was a familiar sight for the eleven original campers: Chris was dressed in his pirate suit from first season and speaking in his lame pirate accent once again.

"Welcome to Total Drama Madness! Ye best brace yerselves fer yer first challenge is about to begin!"

"Oh thank God," Greg sighed as he raced over to Chris in search of protection from Izzy. "Anything! Just get me away from that creature!"

"ARGH! Settle down matey. Ye'll be away from that wench soon enough. Just as soon as I, yer captain, explains the task at hand."

"Do you have to keep up this whole pirate charade?" Noah asked lazily, not looking up from his book. "It's quite lame to be honest."

"You know, I agree with Noah," Heather added. "It's too childish and it's been done, like, hundreds of times."

"Tch…fine," Chris huffed. "Spoiled sports…anyways, it's time that I explained to you your first challenge of TOTAL…DRAMA…MADNESS! This challenge is quite simple: it's a simple live action role-playing game."

"YES!" Aaron and Cody shouted in union, giving one another a high-five.

"As you all probably guessed, it's a pirate role-playing game. The rules are simple: you'll be divided into two separate teams. Each team will select a captain. That captain will be held prisoner by the other team. Crew members from both teams will attempt to cross into enemy territory, which will be divided by a line, and rescue their captain. If in enemy territory, you're subject to being captured by the enemy. Once caught, you will go directly to their jail and remain there until YOU are rescued. Now each team is given three "Parleys", which anyone on your team can use at any time if you're in a pinch and safely return to your side without the risk of being caught. The point of the challenge is to rescue your captain from the other team before time expires. The first team to successfully rescue their captain within the time limit will be declared the winners and will receive invincibility!"

"Well, gee…that won't be any fun for the captains," Cody said, seeming a bit disappointed.

"Ah, I had thought of that," Chris smiled. "And I came up with a crafty solution: the captains do NOT have to wait for someone from their crew to come and rescue them. If they see an opportunity to escape, they may take it if they choose to do so. But beware: if you get stabbed by a pirate on the opposing team, the challenge is automatically over and your team loses…so if you're the captain and you try and escape, you do so at your own risk…and captain's CANNOT invoke the right of parley."

It seemed that most of the campers were excited about this challenge, but none more so than Cody, Aaron, and Joe who looked liked Christmas had come early. Others, like Heather and Alicia, and Ali weren't amused by the idea.

"All right, time to announce the teams for this challenge. This time around it'll be simple: rookies versus veterans! On the rookie team, we have Joe, Jamie, Jason, Amie, Brandon, Ali, Aaron, Alicia, Greg, Hannah, and Rikki! The Veterans will consist of everyone else: Geoff, Bridgette, Duncan, Courtney, Heather, Cody, Noah, Eva, Lindsay, Beth, and Ezekiel! Your costumes are waiting for you in your cabins. And all hands will be on deck in thirty minutes!" Chris announced, returning to his pirate accent, much to the annoyance of Noah.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Joe – **This is gonna be so much fun! I've read all about pirates and their history, so I pretty much know all there is to know about pirating. (He then looks ashamed of himself) Too bad normal pirates won't get my comics published.

**Heather – **Ugh. First thing I have to do when I get back to this forsaken island is play pirate…seriously, this can't possible get any lamer.

**Jamie – **Poor Ezekiel…no wonder he doesn't want to be here. I wouldn't want to be here either if everyone hated me.

**Bridgette – **I know it's not in my nature to hold a grudge, but that Ali better watch herself or there's going to be trouble.

**Greg – **Umm…okay…so despite being in an abandoned wasteland and having that psycho girl back in my life, I'm feeling pretty good…oh, wait, no…I'M PISSED!

_**END**_

The boys were in the old Screaming Gophers cabin, now labeled BOYS, changing into their pirate attire.

"I can't believe I'm about to do this," Noah sighed as he slipped a bandana onto his egghead.

"Aw, come on. It'll be fun," Cody assured the bookworm. "We get to finally be the competitive adventurers we always knew we could be. Plus, I think it's a much better way to start off a season and to get back into the swing of things rather than jumping off a 1000 foot cliff."

"Hey, now that you mention that, I don't think I saw you jump off that cliff in the first season," Aaron replied, tying a piece of leather around his waist.

Noah's face suddenly turned bright red at the mention of it.

"Well, I did. You heard Chris tally up the results," he nervously replied.

"But I didn't see you jump," Brandon replied, now joining the conversation in full pirate attire.

"I DID!" Noah shouted. "Just drop it!"

"Oh yeah, he did!" Geoff called over, slipping into some ragged pirate shorts. "But the cameras had to cut it out because on his way down, his shorts were a little loose and they came right off showing himself to everyone."

All the guys in the room broke out laughing hysterically, making Noah bright red in the face. Not out of embarrassment, but out of anger.

"Aw, poop. I wanted to see that," a voice behind Noah suddenly said excitedly.

Noah slowly turned around and towering over him was Rikki, wearing a pirate-designed tank top and a short, black mink-skirt and leather pirate boots. Overall, about 80% of his body was being displayed for the world to see. Noah let out a high-pitched scream and bolted out of the cabin.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Rikki – **(Still wearing his pirate uniform) Ooh, the little bookworm is playing hard to get…tee hee…silly goose.

**Duncan – **(He's in his pirate uniform) Rikki's sleeping outside. No ands, ifs, or buts about it.

**Jason – **That 1000 foot dive wasn't that impressive. I had to jump off a 1200 cliff once during a talent show…through a ring of fire while performing a 450 dive into the Atlantic Ocean.

_**END**_

In the old Killer Bass cabin, now labeled GIRLS, Bridgette was just finished changing into her uniform, which looked almost like Rikki's, except it was able to fit her without showing off her body.

Heather was off in a corner, applying make-up to her face to match her horribly, shredded clothes.

"Um…I don't think that's going to be necessary," Bridgette called over.

"Hey, there are going to be cameras out there recording us. It's necessary!"

"Oh, that's right!" Lindsay shrieked as she finished dressing in her pirate outfit, which to no one's surprise, was a little too small. "I'd better put on my make-up too!"

"How grating," Alicia scoffed. "Your make-up will be rubbish and futile for this challenge. You will need to rely on your intelligence, integrity, and strategic expertise to come out triumphant in this challenge, not splendor."

Crickets could be heard in the background as the rest of the girls stared blankly at Alicia.

"What did she say?" Lindsay whispered to Beth.

"Uh…I'm not sure to be honest," Beth answered.

"In other words, your make-up will be worthless in this challenge and…"

"NERD!" Beth and Lindsay shouted together, laughing at Alicia before she could finish translating her statement.

"Mental defects," Alicia muttered to herself as she finished dressing in her attire.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Beth – **I know Alicia means well, but with her large vocabulary, she seems like such a snob. I mean, it's almost too easy to pick on her.

**Heather – **I don't care that this challenge is about whatever it is Alicia said it was…I'm not showing myself on television in this stupid outfit without looking half-way decent.

Finally, after about ten minutes, everyone was standing in the middle of the campgrounds dressed in their pirate uniforms. Most of them were wearing the basics: pirate bandana, a ragged shirt, torn pants for the guys and Eva and black skirts for some of the girls and Rikki, and leather boots.

"About time ye scalawags got here!" Chris bellowed out in his pirate voice.

"What are you talking about?!" Brandon demanded. "I was the first one here and WELL under ten minutes!"

"SHH!" Chris shushed the soccer star. "Just let me stay in character!"

"Whatever…but I was still here first and within the time limit."

"One more word out of ye and ye'll be swimming with the Kraken!" Chris bellowed out. "Now mateys, ye've been divided into yer two teams. Decide amongst yerselves who ye want to have as yer captain to be held hostage!"

The two teams huddled together and began discussing it amongst themselves.

**Rookie Crew**

"So, who thinks they can just sit there and be totally worthless bums?" Greg snickered. "I don't know about you, but I like that idea. I volunteer myself."

"No way. You're one of our stronger players," Ali said. "If it's going to be anyone, it should be the most worthless player here, mainly mon nerdo over here," she gestured at Aaron.

"No way, my queen," Aaron sighed. "My Jedi skills are far superior to that of any pirate and I will be of value to the fighting squad of our team!"

"What about Jamie?" Brandon suggested.

"Uh…I don't know if I could do that," Jamie admitted. "After all, I'm not that cunning."

"You are so!" Amie declared. "You're a woman! You can do anything those men can do and then more! You are NOT weak!"

"Uh…that's nice and everything Amie, but I know my strengths and weaknesses," Jamie replied.

"I'll do it!" Joe suddenly volunteered.

"Why YOU? Because you're a man and can do it better?" Amie demanded.

"No…because I'm not that good with sword fighting, but I can be sneaky and distract the guards while you guys come over to rescue me."

"Are you sure?" Brandon asked the cartoonist.

"I've watched Pirates of the Caribbean hundreds of times. I've got that Jack Sparrow character down to a science, which can work to our advantage."

"Pirates of the Caribbean sucks," Greg huffed.

"Okay fine, Joe here will be our captain," Ali decided.

"Right!" Joe shouted, drawing his sword and raising it to the sky. "To victory!"

"To victory!" the rookie team shouted and raised their swords to the sky.

As they soaked in the moment, they were interrupted by a light saber sound. All heads turned to Aaron who was raising a light saber to the sky rather than a pirate sword.

"What?" Aaron asked as all eyes fell on him.

"Dammit Aaron," Greg sighed.

**Veteran Crew**

"Woah, Bridgette babe! You look totally hot in that pirate uniform!" Geoff squealed when he met with his girlfriend.

"You're looking good too, mate," Bridgette cooed as she rubbed her finger across Geoff's bare chest.

"Will you two horn dogs maintain your hormones for two seconds and listen up?" Courtney scoffed. "We need to elect a leader for our team. Now, as a CIT…"

"…you nominate yourself," the rest of her teammates sighed.

"Well…it makes the most sense," Courtney retorted.

"Sure. You started off first season doing nothing for your team. So stat third season off the same way. You're right. Makes perfect sense. Gotta keep your record going, right?" Noah chuckled, not looking up from his book.

"Shut it, egghead!" Courtney snapped.

"You know," Cody spoke, seeming deep in thought. "Noah here would probably make a good captain."

"Say what?" Noah asked, looking up from his book.

"I mean, sports aren't his thing, so he'd probably have a heart attack just by carrying his sword. Also, he's really only good at just sitting around and doing nothing, so he'd be perfect to have just sitting in a prison cell while waiting for someone to rescue him. He'd be the least bored with his book and…"

"Okay, I get the point!" Noah snapped. "Fine, if you want me to be the captain, I guess I'll do it. Better than running around looking like a moron anyway."

"Okay. All in favor of Noah sitting in the prison?" Courtney asked.

"AYE!" the veterans shouted.

"Oppose?"

The sound of something sucking on something else filled the air.

"BRIDGETTE! GEOFF! KNOCK IT OFF!" Courtney hollered.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Noah – **(He's holding a notebook) I'm taking bets on how soon Bridgette and Geoof get the boot this time around. I mean, they got kicked off so early last season, I'm betting it'll happen again. I've got one day…heh heh…I may make some money off this show yet.

_**END**_

After a few minutes, Joe and Noah were placed in their retrospective prison cells on the opposite teams.

"All right, ye scalliwags…BEGIN!" Chris hollered out as loudly as he could.

A trumpet sounded loudly and the challenge was officially underway.

_**Veteran Crew**_

The old-school campers were gathered into a quick huddle led by Heather making a last-minute strategy.

"Okay, Duncan, Ezekiel, Geoff, Bridgette, and Cody will go over to the other side to try and free Noah. Eva, Beth, Courtney, and I stay over on this side to watch for any intruders. Lindsay, you keep guard of the prisoner. Remember, we've only got until sundown. If neither captain is freed, the team with the most prisoners from the other team wins. So NO ONE get caught. Eva, get as many as you can! Any question?"

"Is it just me or does it seem a little weird that a team that is so confident in their chances of winning has to gather together right at the beginning of the challenge to try and sort out who's doing what?" Joe called out, trying to do his best impersonation of Jack Sparrow.

"Shut it pervert!" Courtney snapped at the prisoner.

"Or what?" Joe taunted.

"Or you'll regret it!" Courtney fumed.

"Oh dear. You mean I may have to give up being in prison in the afternoon?"

"Never mind the dateless freak show," Heather retorted. "Let's get going! I want to get out of this costume as soon as possible. The faster we free Noah, the sooner I get to do that!"

Everyone agreed with Heather for once and set off to their assigned positions and tasks.

_**Rookie Crew**_

"So it's settled that Rikki's going to stay and guard the prisoner while the rest of us go to try and free our captain?" Amie announced.

"Oh dear God, please anyone but Rikki!" Noah pleaded from his cell.

"Oh don't worry sweetie. I won't torture you…terribly." Rikki teased.

"Sorry Noah, but we figure with Rikki guarding you in THAT outfit, the other players will be blinded long enough for Rikki to catch them. You understand, right?"

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT! I'M MORE CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME!"

"Oh, is the bookworm afraid of becoming a prison bitch?" Greg laughed.

"AS A MATTER OF FACT…"

"Okay, let's go already!" Brandon pleaded impatiently. "We've only got until sundown to free Joe and we're wasting time! CHARGE!"

Brandon began to race towards the enemy line, but tripped over his own shoelaces before he got three feet.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Brandon – **(He's got dirt on his clothes from tripping) I'm all right. Just a little rusty, that's all. But just you wait: no one, and I mean NO ONE can match my speed. I'll have Joe free in no time flat!

**Amie – **I don't know why, but I get annoyed every time I look at Brandon. He thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread! Arrogance.

**Rikki – **Oh, I simply cannot WAIT to get to know Noah. I wonder if he's everything I've read about in Vogue magazine?

_**END**_

Ezekiel, Geoff, and Bridgette were approaching the enemy line, preparing to cross into the opposing team's territory.

"So, you two dudes ready?" Geoff asked excitedly.

Bridgette smiled at her boyfriend to answer him. Ezekiel on the other hand didn't look as excited.

"Is something wrong Zeke?" Bridgette asked.

"Uh…well…no, not really," Ezekiel lied.

"You sure? You look terrible dude," Geoff added, looking over Ezekiel carefully.

"I'll be fine. Really," Ezekiel insisted. "It's just…I'm nervous, that's all."

"Relax dude! They're not real swords," Geoff explained, holding up his wooden sword.

"Not about that," Ezekiel said. "I just…I just don't know if I can go through with this, that's all."

"Why not?" Bridgette asked.

"Well…I just don't know if I can be careful enough to make everyone hate me even more than they already do, eh?"

"Look Zeke, now's really not the time to discuss it," Bridgette said. "Right now, we need you for this challenge. We can talk about it later afterwards, okay?"

"Really?" Ezekiel asked, seeming shocked. "You'd do that for me? Even after everything I said?"

"Sure, home-school!" Geoff smiled. "What are teammates for?"

"Well…okay then," Ezekiel chuckled. "Thanks guys…er, I mean, guy and girl…er, dude and dudette….dudette and dude…er…"

"Okay, don't hurt yourself," Bridgette chuckled. "Now let's go free Noah!"

The three pirates high-fived one another and then snuck into the enemy territory.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Geoff – **I've always liked home-school. I know a few others don't, but that's because they only think of him as that sexist pig that got voted off first in season one. Not me, though. I got to know him a little bit in the second season. He's pretty cool once you warm up to him.

**Bridgette – **I don't know if I'm wild about Ezekiel or not, but everyone deserves a second chance, I guess.

**Ezekiel – **I don't know, eh? I just don't know.

_**END**_

At that exact moment, Brandon, Amie, and Jason approached the enemy line a little further down from where Ezekiel, Bridgette, and Geoff crossed.

"This'll be a piece of cake!" Brandon laughed. "I can single-handedly free Joe and win this contest for us! You two just distract the others while I race to free our captain!"

"Why should YOU do it?" Amie demanded. "Don't think girls can run as fast as guys?"

"No. It's just that NO ONE can run faster than me!" Brandon boasted.

"I'll bet I could," Jason chuckled. "After all, I won a triathlon back home that consisted of running, biking, and swimming. Not only did I come in first, but I set a new hometown record."

"Well, that's only because I wasn't there," Brandon retorted.

"You could've completed an entire triathlon in less than an hour?" Jason asked, quirking an eyebrow doubtfully.

"I'll bet you I could! In fact, I bet that I'll reach Joe before anyone else here does!"

"I accept that challenge," Jason replied. "And the loser has to do the winner's laundry for the entity of the contest."

"Deal!" Brandon snapped. Before Jason and he could shake on it, Brandon raced over to the enemy territory. Jason quickly followed.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Amie – **Men

_**END**_

**So, who's going to win the first challenge? Will Ezekiel be able to make peace with the rest of the campers? Who will win the small bet between Jason and Brandon? Will Greg be able to shake Izzy off through the challenge? Will Noah shake Rikki off? Will Jack Sparrow live again through Joe? Stay tuned for the next chapter of TOTAL…DRAMA…MADNESS!!!!!**

**A/N: Well, there it is. Sorry it's so late…I'VE BEEN BUSY! Anyways, read and review. Also, I'm setting up a poll on my homepage. Be sure to stop by and vote for your favorite new contestant! **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: He's A Pirate?

Greg had silently managed to sneak onto the opposing team's side in search of his captured captain. Though he didn't exactly look too thrilled to be dressed up as a pirate or to be playing one in what he considered to be a lame challenge. In fact, he looked like he was ready to kill himself if someone had seen him dressed up like this. However, he knew what had to be done and focused on the task at hand rescuing his captain and returning him to his side of the enemy line.

"Okay…if I were that freaky melon-shaped freak, where would I be held prisoner?" he asked himself. "A melon garden, maybe?"

Greg progressed through the woods, searching high and low for Joe. Little did he know, there was someone following his every movement. Slowly and swiftly, the figure snuck up behind Greg like a ninja, ready to strike. At the last second, the figure stepped on a twig, which Greg heard. He quickly turned around with his sword drawn, but he was too late: the figure pounced on him violently and began wrestling with him on the ground.

Greg struggled valiantly, but to no avail. The adversary was too much for him to handle. After a couple minutes, he couldn't put up a fight anymore.

"Okay! Okay! You win!" he snapped. "Just get off me you maniac!"

"I win? Oh boy! That means I get to claim my prize: YOU!" the figure happily squealed.

"What the…GAAA!" Greg yelled in fear. "IZZY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" 1

"E-scope!" Izzy corrected him. "And I was just showing you how much I missed you all these years!"

"By violently pouncing me like the freak you are?" Greg demanded. "You're in violation of my restraining order!"

"Nuh uh! Izzy may be, but E-scope isn't. And you, my hunk, belong to me! You're my prize trophy for a successful hunt!"

"Oh God…that's it! Where's the phone out here? I'm calling my lawyer!"

As Greg shouted this out, he felt a sharp jab in his back. He turned around slowly to see Courtney standing there with her plastic sword pressed slightly into his back.

"Sorry! Prisoners don't get any phone calls out here," she smiled innocently.

"That's my girl!" Duncan called out from a distance.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Greg – **Hey, Greg here. Guess what? (He pauses for a few seconds) I'M PISSED AGAIN!

_**END**_

At the Veteran Crew's prison grounds, which were located far away from where Joe was being held prisoner, Greg just sat on the ground fuming about being caught as Beth stood guard. She glanced at Greg every now and then and blushed somewhat at how cute she thought he was when he was mad.

"Sorry you got caught," she giggled.

"Oh do shut up," Greg grumbled.

_**Geoff, Bridgette, and Ezekiel**_

"Okay dudes," Geoff said to his two teammates, "remember that we're in enemy territory. We can be caught if the enemy catches us. So be careful, kay?"

"Definitely," Bridgette smiled.

"You got it, eh," Ezekiel replied. "But don't we get three passes if that happens."

"Yes, but use them wisely. Once all three are used, we don't get anymore. So if we use them right away and then they catch a really good player on our team, that hurts us."

"Oh! Right," Ezekiel remembered. "Okay, we should move forward."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Ezekiel – **I'm pretty glad that Geoff and Bridgette are showing signs that they forgive me. I just hope that everyone else can forgive me too…maybe I can start by winning this challenge for my team!

_**END**_

Geoff led his squad through thick brush, searching for both Noah and signs of enemies approaching. Bridgette clung to her boyfriend, thankful she wasn't alone in the harsh wilderness. Meanwhile, Ezekiel stayed a safe distance back, watching what was happening behind them.

"Clear ahead," Geoff announced.

"Nothing behind us," Ezekiel replied.

"Good. Let's move forward."

On cue, all three advanced forward.

"Are you sure Noah's this way?" Bridgette asked.

"Uh…not really," Geoff admitted.

"Wait…then why are we going this way if you're not sure?" Ezekiel asked.

"Because we don't have any leads, so the only thing we can do is try and guess where he is," Geoff replied.

"Sheesh, I wish Izzy were here," Ezekiel sighed. "She could track down scents like there was no tomorrow."

"That's for sure," Bridgette chuckled.

"SHH!" Geoff suddenly shushed. Instantly, Ezekiel and Bridgette froze in their tracks. Geoff walked slowly near a tree and peaked out form behind it, looking for any signs of enemy movement. Bridgette and Ezekiel watched, not daring to make a sound.

Several intense moments passed as Geoff studied the environment ahead of them. Not a sound was being made. All was silent….until…SQUAWK!

_**Lindsay and Joe (Veteran's Captain Prison Grounds) **_

Lindsay was polishing her fingernails as she sat near the cell in which Joe was being held prisoner. As Lindsay beautified herself, Joe began strategizing.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Joe – **For the challenge, I know that I'm going to have to be as witty and strategic as a pirate…maybe even more so that Captain Jack Sparrow…if that's even possible.

_**END**_

Joe studied his surrounding from his cell, looking for the perfect opportune moment or event to capitalize on. After a few moments, he found one. In the distance, Jason was slowly approaching the prison area. His eyes were fix solely on Lindsay, hoping she didn't see him approaching. Joe decided to help him and set his little plan to action.

"You know Lindsay, I can't help but notice how you're obsessed with your looks and figure," Joe innocently commented to the blonde bombshell.

"Huh? Oh yeah," Lindsay replied, looking at Joe. "I hope that once I get out of this competition, modeling agents will have noticed me and will hire me to work for them."

"Ah, so the blonde DOES have a dream and ambition in life," Joe smiled.

"Huh? Of course I do!" Lindsay retorted, almost sounding insulted.

"Relax," Joe coolly replied. "It's a fitting dream for you…but I wonder: will those modeling agencies really accept you just because you were on a reality television show for three season?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean to say that it's possible that those agencies may not hire you just because of you fame and success on this show. If my memory serves me correctly, they're going to require you to have some experience in modeling. Am I right?"

"Well…I guess so…but I DO have some experience."

"Ah! You have SOME experience, which is to say that you're not entirely sure that you have enough experience in the field to actually be hired by these agencies, therefore you're not entirely sure your plan to be noticed on this show will be enough to be hired, am I right?"

Lindsay stared blankly at Joe, more confused than ever. Joe's plan was working.

"Tell you what," Joe continued, leaning closer to Lindsay, "What say you that I help you gain a little more experience for your resume?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm looking for a model myself. I need someone to pose as a new character for my pirate comic book that I'm drawing. I figure since you're dressed the part, maybe you could volunteer your services and pose for me while I draw you. That, my dear, is modeling in its own right. Am I right?"

"Uh…I guess so," Lindsay replied.

"So what do you say?" Joe continued. "You help me out with my comic book and I help you out with your modeling resume?"

Lindsay thought about this for a minute. Finally, she decided that Joe's reasoning made sense and agreed to go along with it.

Joe pulled out his sketch book and Lindsay drew her sword and posed as though she were a pirate captain and faced Joe. Joe was pretending to look for an angle that would be best to draw her. In reality, he was signaling for Jason to come up and free him.

"How's that?" Lindsay smiled.

"Okay, I guess, but not what I'm looking for," Joe lied. "I need something…a little more seductive."

"Okay," Lindsay agreed. She placed the sharp end of her blade on the ground and leaned against it like a girl posing for a diamond necklace commercial. Again, Joe motioned for Jason to come forward while pretending to be centering Lindsay for his picture.

"No. No. No," Joe sighed to Lindsay. "This character I'm designing gets her way be being as seductive to her enemies as possible. You need to be more seductive than this. I need you to pose for me like…like…like you would pose for your boyfriend Tyler."

"Oh, I get it now!" Lindsay replied excitedly. "You mean like this!"

Lindsay gave Joe her sexiest pose she could imagine. Joe's eyes went wide with shock. His hands began to tremble as his notebook and pencil slipped out of his hand. His knees began to shake vigorously.

"This is how I would pose for Tyler," Lindsay said still holding the pose. "Is this what you're looking for?"

"Tyler is one lucky dude," Joe muttered.

"What?"

"Huh? Oh! Nothing," Joe replied, snapping out of his trance. "Yeah! Perfect! Hold it and don't move a muscle!"

Normally, Joe would've just pretended to draw Lindsay. But with her giving him a pose like this, he figured he'd take the icing on the cake and decided to draw her while he motioned for Jason to sneak up and free him.

Jason was getting closer and closer to Lindsay. She didn't even know he was there. It was all set up perfectly for the Rookie Crew to win the challenge right there and then. Unfortunately, before Jason could take Lindsay's sword, another sword was placed under his neck.

"Nice try, Mr. Perfect," a cold, rough voice snickered. Jason looked up and saw Eva standing there with a big smile on her face. "But not good enough!"

Lindsay turned around and shrieked when she saw how close Jason was to getting her.

"PARLEY!" Jason shouted quickly.

"What?! No way!" Eva shouted. "I got you before you yelled it!"

"Actually, you didn't actually touch me with the sword, so I'm still safe," Jason smiled. "According to the rules, you have to let me go back to my side without harming me."

Eva grumbled something under her breath, but reluctantly allowed Jason to go, swearing that next time, he wouldn't be so lucky.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Eva – **That pretty boy Jason thinks he can one-up me like that? Well, I can tell you one thing he's not going to win at: BEATING ME!

**Jason – **Sure, I was a little upset I didn't get Joe free the first time. But like all the other times in the past, I always am successful at what I set out to do. Trust me when I say that I will win this challenge for our team. Plus, this time, I know where they're keeping Joe, so I can get there much quicker.

**Joe – **(He looks upset) We were so close to winning right there. (He then smiles and holds the picture of Lindsay he drew) But something good came out of it at least.

_**END**_

_**Rikki and Noah (Rookie Prison Grounds)**_

"So tell me handsome, what else did you do behind the scenes of this show that was naughty? I'm sure you did a lot off camera in Total Drama Action. You can tell me," Rikki cooed.

"Leave me alone!" Noah grumbled as he tried to read his book.

"Ooh! Playing hard to reveal? I love that in a man!"

"Well, that's too bad for you because I'm not into men," Noah replied, seeming highly irritated.

"That's not what it looked like when you were cuddling with Cody first season," Rikki smiled. "To be honest, I sometimes lay awake at night dreaming that it's me you're cuddling with here during that challenge. Only instead of me screaming when I find out what you're doing, I just lean closer into you and allow you to go deeper and deeper into my ear. Then, we get so horny that you assume the position and allow me to…"

"AUGH! STOP! STOP! I DON'T WANT TO PICTURE IT…GAUGH! IT'S IN MY HEAD! THAT IMAGE IS FOREVER IMPLATED INTO MY HEAD!" Noah shrieked.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Rikki – **(He's blushing) Noah can pretend all he wants. But just you wait: I'll get him to come out of the closet one way or another…and then, that handsome hunk will belong to me.

**Noah – **(He's banging his head against the wall) GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!

_**END  
**_

_**Jason, Alicia, Ali, Hannah, Jamie, and Aaron**_

"So the asylum where Joe is being held captive is located in the far northwest area of their dominion?" Alicia confirmed with Jason

"That's the place. I almost had him set free too, so I figure if we all go at once, we'll be able to set Joe free in due time."

"But what about our side?" Hannah asked. "We still need to keep a lookout for the enemy. We're already short a few people: Brandon and Amie are somewhere over on the other side, Rikki's guarding Noah, and Greg's been caught."

"Hm…you're right," Jason replied. "Okay, let's strategize for a minute: we probably need someone to go set Greg free since we'll need all the help we can get. Aaron, can you do that?"

"Affirmative!" Aaron replied. "The force is strong with me today. I can feel it."

"Right," Jason sighed. "Moving on. Jamie and Hannah: you two will stay on this side and help Rikki guard Noah. If you see the enemy, capture them and decide amongst yourselves who'll guard them.

Hannah and Jamie nodded.

"Ali and Alicia: you each go in a separate direction while I go in another. We'll all meet up with one another near where Joe is being held prisoner. There's no way they can take on all three of us."

"Whatever you say hon," Ali smiled.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Jason – **This is like a simple game of chess: plan it out one move at a time.

**Jamie – **Guarding our side is a big responsibility too. I've been assigned with an important task. I can't fail no matter what! My brother wouldn't want me to.

**Alicia – **This plan is flawless in execution. Victory is inescapable.

**Aaron** – (His light saber is in hand) They will learn not to underestimate the power of the force.

**Hannah – **I cannot afford to mess this up. Like playing a song on the piano: one wrong note and the whole song is ruined.

**Ali – **Sorry Jason, but I'm not going along with your plan. If your plan fails, it makes you look bad and people will probably vote for you…plus…I've got a little score I want to settle with that bimbo Bridgette.

_**END**_

_**Amie and Brandon**_

"Where are we?" Amie grumbled as she swatted at the flies buzzing around her head.

"How the heck should I know?" Brandon muttered in response. "It's not like we've got a map, you know."

"I thought you didn't need one Mr. Mighty Navigator!" Amie snapped back.

"Hey, I ain't exactly in familiar territory," Brandon retorted. "This island is so freaking bizarre, I swear this is the location for the tapings of LOST."

"LOST is taped on an island in the Southern Hemisphere, not on a deserted island in Canada, genius!"

"You know what?! I'm sick of you complaining!" Brandon shouted. "If you're any better at navigating, then by all means! Lead the way, feminazi!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!" Amie demanded.

"I called you a Nazi feminist, you ugly cow!"

At that moment, both Brandon and Amie stopped dead in their tracks. Brandon looked shocked by what he had just said Amie, on the other hand, looked very hurt indeed. Immediately, Brandon regretted saying what he just said.

"Wait, Amie, I didn't…" he began.

"SHUT UP! DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!" Amie screamed as tears began pouring down her face.

"Amie, come on," Brandon begged. "I lost my temper, that's all!"

"JUST SHUT UP! SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" Amie cried and stormed off.

When she was out of sight, Brandon just stood there. He wanted to feel relieved that she was gone. But guilt was making him wish that she wasn't. Not after he had said something like that to her.

Before he could think anything else, he saw Amie walking back towards him. A small wave of relief came back to him thinking she would forgive him. But then, he felt a jab in his back.

"Gotcha, idiot!" Duncan snickered. "I've gotta say, you're sure lacking in the brains department."

Brandon turned back to Amie, who was being followed by a smiling Eva.

"Count two more for the Veterans!" Eva laughed. "You two are going to have plenty of time to talk this out in prison."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Brandon – **(He sighs) Well, if we lose, at least I can say I made it onto the show…but for the record…it just came out. I didn't really mean it.

**Amie – **(Her eyes are puffy from crying. She opens her mouth to say something, but no words come out. She just sobs a little.)

**Chris – **Now THAT'S television at its finest!

_**END**_

_**Rikki and Noah**_

"So tell me more sweetheart," Rikki sighed as he continued to study Noah.

"I haven't told you anything," Noah scoffed.

"Exactly my point silly. You haven't told me enough about yourself yet. I'm dying to know: what are you future ambitions? What are you going to do once you get off this show? What book is that you're reading?"

"It's none of your business. Now leave me alone," Noah sighed.

"Oh, mysterious? That's sexy," Rikki giggled.

"Hate to break it to you big guy, but I don't find you sexy in the least," Noah replied, not looking up from his book.

"Denial is to be expected when in the face of true love," Rikki teased.

"Oh, help can't come soon enough," Noah grumbled.

Just the, a noise came from a nearby tree: it sounded like someone sneezing. Rikki immediately snapped to attention and drew his sword.

"Who's there? Show yourself?" He demanded.

The figure behind the tree slowly emerged with his hands in the air, looking very nervous and disturbed at the sight of Rikki.

"YOU!" Rikki shouted.

"Uh…yeah, it's me," Cody nervously chuckled.

"I knew you'd be here to try and win Noah back for yourself! Get away you home-wrecker! He's mine!"

"Chill Rikki," Cody calmly replied. "I don't want anything to do with him romantically. You know I'm into girls."

"That's not what it looked like in the awake-a-thon. You looked like you were thoroughly enjoying yourself when Noah sucked on your ear! Back off Mr. No way I'm letting you get a chance to get him back! No way no how!"

Without another word, Rikki charged at Cody with his sword drawn. The tech-geek ran for his life as the overweight cross-dresser charged him.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Noah – **(He looks highly annoyed) Sheesh…you make one mistake and you pay for it for the rest of your life.

**Rikki – **(He looks angry) Cody had his chance with Noah. He blew it, Mr. Now it's my turn. He'd better leave us alone or he'll be sorry that he crossed me.

**Cody – **(He looks disturbed) Rikki…wow…that's all I can say.

_**END**_

_**Joe and Courtney (Veteran's Captain Imprisonment Area) **_

Lindsay had been fired from guarding Joe after almost falling for his tactics. A highly irritated Heather dragged her away from Joe by the ear and Courtney had been chosen to guard him instead. Everyone knew she wouldn't be as easily duped by Joe as Lindsay was, but that didn't mean Joe wasn't going to try After all, Captain Jack Sparrow would have.

"You know, I honestly preferred it when Lindsay was guarding me," Joe said. "But to be honest, you would have been my second choice."

"Shut it pervert!" Courtney snapped.

"No! I'm serious," Joe continued. "I mean, look at you. I'm surprised someone as hot as you isn't modeling. I mean, you're already a model after all."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Courtney demanded.

"I mean you're a model."

"What? No I'm not!" Courtney replied.

"Ah, but you are. You walk around like you're better than everyone else. You wear tight designer clothes that show off your figure in them. Plus, you're hot and always making out with someone. By possessing each of these qualities, you are, in fact, a model."

"I am not a model!" Courtney huffed. "Now shut up!"

"Denial is to be expected from someone who's trying to be something that she's not."

"What do you know about that?! You know nothing about me!" Courtney replied, seeming very annoyed.

"I know that you're a model," Joe continued. "As someone who looks at models all the time, I know what models are and what models are not. Models are NOT leaders. They're sheep. Therefore, as a sheep, you'll never be president of your class or the school's student council nor will you ever be the Prime Minister of Canada. And models certainly aren't CIT's: they're wannabes in that sense."

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE!" Courtney swore.

"Clueless about the truth: that's another quality a model possesses. Why don't you just admit it to yourself? You'll be happier. Say it with me: I am a model: a person who is only admired for my body and am the source of boys sexual fantasies at night. Boy…in that case, I guess that makes you a porn star. Porn stars DEFINITELY don't become leaders."

The entire campgrounds quaked as Courtney let out a high-pitched scream.

"TAKE HIM!" Courtney screamed. 'SOMEONE FROM THE OTHER SIDE! TAKE HIM! GET HIM OUT OF MY SIGHT! NOW!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Joe – **(Smirking) Boy, that would've worked…if only Jason and Alicia had been just a little closer a little sooner.

_**END**_

_**Veteran's Rookie Crew Prison Grounds**_

"So we almost released Joe as Courtney was pleading us to take him…but unfortunately for us, Duncan and Eva came racing to the scene as soon as Courtney had let off that tremor of a scream," Alicia explained to Brandon and Greg.

"That's when you got caught, huh?" Brandon asked.

"Correct," Jason answered, looking frustrated. "Eva poked my right in the stomach and said 'If you even think the word parley, I'll break your legs.'".

"That sounds like muscle-head," Greg sighed. "Where the hell are the others? If I gotta listen to Miss Niagara Falls over here cry any longer, I'm gonna put my head in a meat grinder."

Alicia, Jason, and Greg looked over in the corner of their prison where Amie was just sitting there, silently crying. Brandon looked guilty as he looked over at Amie.

"Sheesh, you'd think someone just died or something," Greg replied.

"Speaking of died…where was Ali?" Jason huffed. "We would've won if she'd have been with us!"

_**Geoff, Ezekiel, and Bridgette**_

All three teammates were racing through the woods as fast as their legs would allow them to run as a flock of angry crows chased them away from their nesting grounds. Geoff was trying to protect him and Bridgette as they ran hand in hand while Ezekiel swatted at the rats with wings vigorously and wildly in attempts to chase them off.

Finally, after the contestants were far enough away from the flock, the crows gave up pursuit and headed back to their nesting grounds.

"You okay babe?" Geoff asked Bridgette.

"I…I think so," Bridgette replied, checking herself over.

"I…hate…crows…SO MUCH!" Ezekiel yelled out. "They eat everything that isn't boarded up on th' farm, they leave their droppings all over the hay, and now, they try and kill me, eh!"

"What's worse is that I lost track of where we were when we ran," Geoff sighed.

"You mean…you have no idea where we are?' Bridgette shivered.

"I'll tell you where you're not," a voice snickered through the brush nearby…"safe."

Instantly, all three pairs of eyes went wide as dinner plates as someone from the opposing team stepped out from the brush with her sword drawn. Everyone immediately recognized the stylish golden hair of the individual.

"How you doing babe?" Ali smiled at Geoff.

"Uh, I hate to break it to you lady, but Geoff isn't exactly a baby anymore," Ezekiel replied, not getting what Ali meant by 'babe'.

"Geoff! What on earth are you doing with that pig?" Ali demanded.

"Hey, come on! Not cool! Ezekiel's an okay dude when you give him a chance," Geoff sternly replied.

"Ezekiel? I was talking about Bridgette," Ali explained.

Never in Geoff's life had he seen Bridgette get angry. But as soon as Ali had said that little comment about Bridgette, Geoff could see the fire in Bridgette's eyes as she glared at Ali.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Ezekiel – **(He looks scared) Boy, if looks could kill, eh?

_**END**_

"Bridge! Don't do it babe!" Geoff pleaded as he held Bridgette back by the hood of her pirate uniform.

"Come on Geoff. Let that tramp come to me. I've been dying to take out that garbage ever since I laid my eyes on her." Ali chuckled.

"Who're you calling tramp, you…you…" Bridgette growled. After a couple seconds, she finally composed herself and took a few deep breaths. "Okay…you know what? You're not even worth my time."

"You know something," Ali continued, "I could help you three find Noah and help you win this challenge."

"Really?" Geoff smiled. "Hey, that's actually cool of you!"

"What's the catch?" Ezekiel asked, hating Ali more and more with each passing second.

"The catch is…" Ali smirked, "…that you let me capture Bridgette and that sexist jerk right now. I take them to jail and then I help you, babe, win this challenge."

**A/N: Woof! I think I'll end it there. Ha Ha! A cliff hanger! Anyways, I know I didn't really touch up on ALL of the characters, but I did my best. Next chapter will have more of the ones I didn't really get to in this chapter, mainly Jamie and Hannah. Anyways, here's what to expect in the next chapter: LOTS OF DRAMA! Now to break it down for you: romances will flourish; rivalries will begin; someone will be the first camper voted off the island. Stay tuned! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five – A Day They Shall Always Remember**

_**Hannah and Jamie (Rookie's Prison Grounds) **_

"Sheesh…I hope they capture someone soon," Hannah sighed. "It'd suck to have to vote someone off on our first day here."

"I know," Jamie sighed. "There's no way I'm going home my first day here. That'd be an embarrassment to my family and my brother's memory."

"Your brother's memory?" Hannah asked, seeming shocked. "You mean…he's dead?"

"Yes," Jamie sighed. "He was shot over in Iraq. He…he was my best friend."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Hannah said, trying to sound apologetic. "That must have been so hard on you."

"It was," Jamie admitted. "In fact, it still is whenever I think about him. But I know he's not gone…not really. I know he's up there watching over me, rooting me on. That's why I promised myself that I'm going to win this competition no matter what!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Hannah – **(She sniffles a little) I think it's really cool how Jamie wants to do this in memory of her brother and I really respect her for it. But that doesn't mean I'm just going to stand aside and let her win. We're talking two million dollars! Plus, I'm sure her brother would want her to earn it.

_**END**_

"Hello sweethearts!" a voice called from the woods. Jamie and Hannah raised their weapons towards the voice. Instantly, they lowered them when they saw that it was Rikki, directing a captured Cody to their prison grounds. "I've got one for you!"

"Heh…hi ladies," Cody chuckled nervously as Rikki threw him to the feet of Hannah and Jamie.

"You two keep a good eye on this home wrecker!" Rikki ordered. "I won't have him coming anywhere's near my man again!"

"His man?" Jamie asked Hannah. "What is he implying by that?"

Hannah chuckled a little and leaned into Jamie's ear and whispered what Rikki was referring to. When she finished, Jamie's eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Jamie – **(She still look shocked) You mean people of the same gender actually do that stuff with each other?! Did Rikki and Noah actually DO that stuff yet? Does Cody want to do that stuff with Noah?! (She pauses for a second) No! I'm sure Hannah was just yanking my chain. Rikki must have meant something else by that…right?

**Hannah – **Poor Jamie. I didn't think she'd be so shocked. But then again, she's lived in the country all her life and has had no communication with the outside world. I'm just sorry I had to be the one to explain it to her.

**Cody – **(He looks irritated) Did Rikki not watch the first season?! There is nothing between me and Noah! I am SO into the ladies!

**Rikki – **Cody can cover behind his little white lie all he wants. I know he's just trying to fool me into thinking he has no interest in Noah. Well, Mr. Cody, that isn't going to work on me for a second! I will have Noah!

_**END**_

Rikki left Cody with the two girls and strutted back to where Noah was being held prisoner.

"What is with that guy?" Jamie asked the others, seeming very confused and shocked at the same time.

"He's an odd one, alright," Cody winced as he watched Rikki strut.

"Are there more like him out there?"

"Probably…some even worse than him," Hannah explained.

Jamie's jaw dropped a little when she heard this. After all, this was news to her.

"Where I come from, Rikki would probably be beat up by all the guys that live nearby!" Jamie exclaimed.

"You don't get out of the country much, do you?" Cody concluded as he watched Jamie's facial expressions.

_**Geoff, Bridgette, Ezekiel, and Ali**_

"You don't seriously expect us to agree to that stipulation, do you?" Ezekiel demanded of Ali.

"Shut it farmer," Ali scoffed to the prairie boy. "I wasn't asking you. I was asking Geoff over here."

Ezekiel growled under his breath as Ali turned her flirtatious eyes back onto Geoff. For some reason, Ezekiel felt his rage building up inside him at a fast rate as he watched Ali make Geoff feel uncomfortable with her eyes and Bridgette furious for her tactics of flirting with her boyfriend.

"So what do you say handsome?" Ali asked the party animal once again. "Will you drop the dead weight to let me lead you to your captain?"

Before Geoff could dignify that with a response, Bridgette pulled her sword and pointed it at Ali.

"If you ever call Geoff handsome or babe again, I will screw you up so bad that your own mother wouldn't recognize you!" she gritted through her teeth.

"Well, well. The bitch has a bite to it," Ali chuckled.

"Don't talk to my girlfriend like that!" Geoff demanded, sounding somewhat annoyed. "That's totally uncool."

"Sadly dear," Ali cooed, "you forget where we are: you're in enemy territory. I could just easily stab you right now and capture you. I don't even need to wait for an answer. But because I'm in a good mood, I'll wait for you to answer. The choice is yours"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Ezekiel – **You know, it's girls like Ali that made me think girls were inferior to men in the first place, eh? She's low!

**Ali – **(She is smirking) So he had two choices: let me capture all three of them and jeopardize the team's efforts or allow me or allow me to capture the other two so I can spend some alone time with him…either way, I win.

_**END**_

Geoff glared at Ali. It was cleat that she had struck a chord in the normally cool-headed party animal.

He glanced over at Bridgette, who was still looking at Ali with pure hatred. But when she glanced back over to Geoff, she gave him a warm smile that reminded him why he fell in love with her in the first place. He returned the smile and then looked back at Ali with a cold stare in his eyes.

"I say no deal dude!" he replied.

"Big mistake," Ali growled as she pulled her sword out and lunged at Bridgette first.

Bridgette didn't have any time to react. But before Ali could strike her, she felt herself being shoved aside by someone. She fell into Geoff's arms and tried to regain her balance. When she did, she looked behind her to see what had happened. Standing where she once stood, smiling at Ali, was Ezekiel. Ali's plastic sword was poking him right in the chest.

"Get out of here!" Ezekiel barked at Bridgette and Geoff. "I'm not gonna be taken out for nothing, eh!"

"Too late!" Ali snapped as she readied her sword for Geoff and Bridgette.

"PARLEY!" both Geoff and Bridgette exclaimed just before Ali could make her move.

"Sorry Ali! You can't get us now! We're safe!" Geoff snickered.

Ali's face was red with frustration as she threw her sword on the ground. "Damn! I forgot that rule!" she growled.

"Too bad," Bridgette grinned. "Looks like you won't be getting what you want after all."

"Shut it tramp!" Ali hissed. After a couple more seconds, she finally composed herself. "You know what? That's fine. Go ahead back to the other side for all I care. I've seen enough of you to last me a lifetime. As for Geoff, I know he'll see the light eventually and come crawling to me. Until then, hot stuff, I'll be waiting," she finished as she blew a kiss to Geoff.

Geoff didn't acknowledge that she did this and just looked away from the spoiled brat.

"Let's move dirt-hound," Ali snapped at Ezekiel, violently pointing him in the back with her sword. Ezekiel yelped slightly (the sword may have been plastic, but the end was still pointy enough to hurt). Ezekiel glanced back at Geoff and Bridgette once more as Ali led him to their prison grounds.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Geoff – **That Ali chick is totally uncool! First she insults my girlfriend and then she tries to hit on me?! Come on! NO way I'd even leave Bridgette for another girl….especially her! Ali may have the money and the looks, but Bridgette has the looks AND a totally awesome personality! That tops royalty any day in my book!

**Bridgette – **(She looks upset) You know, it hasn't even been a day into this game and already someone has pushed me to the brink of tears. I'm just thankful Ali didn't get what she wanted…I guess I owe Ezekiel for that one.

_**END**_

_**Duncan and Joe (Veteran's prison ground) **_

Back at the veteran's prison grounds where Joe was being held prisoner, his guard had been changed once more. It was decided that after Courtney almost gave him to the enemy that she wasn't best fit for the job either. So now the veterans had to resort to their toughest player: Duncan.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Duncan – **This twerp doesn't worry me in the least bit. He's just a lovesick dork who likes playing pirate and drawing girls he wishes he could have. This'll be a synch.

**Joe – **(He had a devilish grin on his face) This is going to be my finest piece of work to date.

"So, juvie, eh?" Joe began. "I guess that makes you a tough guy, doesn't it?"

Duncan didn't even respond to this. He just pulled out his knife and began carving a skull into a nearby piece of wood.

"Ah! So you're an artist! That makes two of us then, eh mate?"

"This ain't art," Duncan growled. "It's a sign of rebellion."

"Ah, a rebel is it? Well, that makes two of us then."

"Tch…you ain't no rebel," Duncan scoffed. "Now stop talking to me!"

"Ah, but in this case, I'm playing a pirate. Therefore, at this precise moment, I am a rebel just like you."

"Trust me, geek, you and I aren't anything alike at all. Stop talking to me!"

"Oh, come now," Joe slyly smiled, "Surely you and I are alike in one way or another. There's got to be something we have in common."

"Tch…I don't have anything in common with a nerd who thinks he's a pirate."

"Ah! By saying that, you've proven yourself wrong! See, you think you have nothing in common with me and I think I have nothing in common with you. Therefore, we've proven that we DO have something in common and that is we both think we have nothing in common."

For this first time, the juvenile delinquent looked to be stumped and actually confused.

"HUH?!" was all Duncan was able to muster out.

Joe didn't even bother to answer Duncan's signs of confusion and just leaned in closer to the delinquent from behind his bars.

"Now I'm curious," Joe half-whispered, "what else could you and I possible have in common?"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Joe – **(He's smiling) The ice has been broken! Savvy?

**Duncan – **(He's grinning) He thinks he's got me fooled and stumped. Not even close. But I'll play along for now, just to build up his hopes.

_**END**_

_**(Rookie Prison Grounds – Hannah, Jamie, and Cody) **_

Cody sat on the ground, fidgeting and twiddling his thumbs. He couldn't recall the last time he was so bored. He wished the challenge would end right there so he could get out of those itchy pirate clothes and back into something decent that the ladies might actually think looked hot on him (or so he thought in his head).

"Mind if I join you?" a voice asked.

Cody looked up and was surprised to see Hannah standing there. She didn't wait for an answer and just sat down next to him.

"Uh…not that I'm not grateful or anything, but won't your teammates get mad if they catch you speaking to me instead of playing pirate?"

"Come on, it's not like there's anyone else here to guard," Hannah chuckled.

Hannah reached into her pocket and pulled out her ipod, placed the ear pieces into her ears, and turned on some Mozart.

"Uh…so, what kind of music you have on there?" Cody asked Hannah.

"Classical," Hannah replied, scrolling through her playlist for something she was in the mood for.

"Oh," Cody said, trying his best to sound interested.

However, Hannah could sense his lack of interest in the tone of his voice. "Something wrong with that?" she asked.

"No! Not at all!" Cody hurriedly replied, holding his hands up in defense. "It just…well…not exactly my taste in music."

"Well? What do you listen to?" Hannah asked, seeming interested.

"You know…rock and roll! The good stuff!"

"Oh," Hannah replied, sounding disappointed. Without warning, she stood up and headed back over to Jamie.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Cody – **(He looks upset) Dang it! Why is it every time I talk to a girl, I find a way to turn them off to me?! I guess I'm doomed to be single forever!

**Hannah – **(She looks disappointed) Just like every other guy before Cody, they all think I'm lame and boring because I listen to classical music. Oh well, I guess that's what makes me doomed to be single forever.

_**END**_

At that moment, Ali approached them with a very disgusted Ezekiel.

"Watch him and don't let him out of your sight," Ali ordered the two more timid girls. Instantly, they flinched as she barked these orders. She didn't wait for a response and just marched away.

"Is it just me or is she meaner than she should be?" Jamie asked Hannah and Cody.

"She's not mean…she's pure evil!" Ezekiel gritted.

"Why? What did she do?" Hannah asked, seeming very intrigued.

"She's flirting with Geoff!"

"She didn't!" Cody gasped.

"I wouldn't lie abo'ot that, eh!" Ezekiel responded.

"How in the world could someone try to steal someone's boyfriend?" Jamie asked in astonishment. "Why, that's just cruel and evil!"

"I know! It makes me sick just thinking abo'ot it!"

"You know Ezekiel, you're really not one to be criticizing," Hannah interrupted. "If I recall, you were trying to get closer to Bridgette in the hot tub at Playa De Losers in Season 1."

Ezekiel opened his mouth to retort, but no words came out. Hannah had made a very good point.

"Well, who could blame him?" Cody called over. "Bridgette IS hot and all."

"Hot? You mean she isn't feeling well?" Jamie asked. "Is it because she's sick everyone likes her?"

Hannah, Cody, and Ezekiel just stared at Jamie blankly for a couple of seconds.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Cody – **Boy, I didn't know people could be so naïve and clueless about modern-day terms. Jamie should've hung out at the mall more….like I did before I came onto the show!

**Hannah – **(She chuckles) Poor Jamie. I guess that's what growing up in the country all sheltered does to you. I mean, look at Ezekiel. I'm going to have to hang around Jamie more and teach her about the outside world. (She looks excited) I can't wait to introduce her to Beethoven and his numerous symphonies!

**Ezekiel – **(He looks frustrated) I wish people would forget that I tried to get closer to Bridgette, eh! I mean, sure I thought about it at the time, but…(he stops suddenly) Oh wow…Hannah was right. In retrospect, I'm no better than Ali, eh!

**Jamie – **Poor Bridgette. I didn't know she was terminally ill. I'm going to have to do something nice for her.

_**END**_

_**Veteran's Territory (Eva) **_

Eva was making her way through some thick brush, looking desperately for anyone else from the rookie crew she could capture.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," she chuckled evilly. "You know how much I love fresh meat."

Suddenly, she heard the sound of a twig snapping behind her. She whipped around with her sword ready for action. Standing there a few feet away from her was none other than the sci-fi nerd.

"EEK!" Aaron shrieked when he saw Eva glaring at her.

"Aw, dang it," Eva snickered. "I was hoping for a challenge. Oh well, a point is a point, I guess."

Eva advanced on the petrified nerd with full confidence. But halfway through her march forward, Aaron's facial expression changed slightly. Instead of fear, the nerd had a look of confidence on his face. Slowly, he drew out his light saber, pressed the button that made it light up and give off the light saber sound effects, and took his battle stance.

"I warn you now, foolish one," Aaron spoke, "Should you attempt to strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can imagine!"

Eva quirked an eyebrow at the Star Wars fanatic, somewhat stupefied by his response. Then, without warning, she charged at him with full force. She swung her plastic sword right for Aaron's head. But nothing came in contact with it. Where Aaron once stood, there was nothing.

"What the?!" Eva exclaimed, shocked and confused all at once.

"You are a powerful foe," a nerdy voice replied from above the fitness buff. "You are right to be proud."

Eva looked and was surprised to see Aaron sitting in the tree, all calm and collect as though Eva hadn't come at him.

"Why you little…get down here and fight like a man!" Eva demanded, kicking the tree as hard as she could. Aaron almost lost his balance, but he quickly regained it.

"You wish to engage in a duel?" Aaron asked, after balancing himself on the tree. "Very well. But I must warn you: you would be wise not to underestimate the power of the force!"

"Quit the nerd talk and get down here!" Eva barked.

Aaron didn't even respond to this. As calmly and coolly as possible, Aaron dropped from the tree. Much to Eva's surprise, Aaron landed on his feet in perfect form, ready for battle. Eva shrugged it off and charged Aaron once more. She swung her sword at Aaron, but Aaron blocked it perfectly and rolled out of the way. Eva swung at him more, but Aaron kept blocking it with his light saber and dodging or flipping out of the way with his sword making the sound effects the entire time Eva's sword came into contact with it.

No matter how fast Eva swung at Aaron, Aaron was always a little faster and quicker to get out of her way.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Eva – **I don't believe it for a second. This little nerd some kind of acrobatic personal? What are my friends back at the gym going to say if I let this little punk beat me? (She gets a look of determination on her face) It ain't gonna happen! I'll crush that twerp's skull!

**Aaron – **(He's smiling) Yoda, eat your heart out!

_**END**_

After a little while, Eva found herself to be on the defensive rather than the offensive. Now Aaron was trying to attack her with his almost Jedi-like reflexes.

"You're a tough little SOB, aren't you?" Eva growled as she parried another series of attacks.

"The force is strong with me," Aaron replied as he swung his toy light saber around for another attack.

_**Veteran's Prison Grounds (Duncan and Joe) **_

"Well, I collect lighters," Duncan said to Joe.

"Ah! So does my brother. Therefore, lighters are a part of our lives. See? That's another thing that we have in common," Joe replied.

"Well, what do you know?" Duncan grinned.

At that moment, Chef approached them with what looked like a hangman pole and a rope.

"What's that for?" Duncan asked.

"Chris decided that the losing team's captain, before going to the campfire ceremony, is going to be tied up on a hangman's booth and the winning team gets to douse him in tomatoes. From the way things look, it's going to be the pervy comic boy here!" Chef answered as he built the booth.

"Here are the tomatoes boss," DJ called from behind Chef, carrying a large crate of rotten tomatoes. Both DJ and Joe had to plug their noses the smell was so strong and rancid.

"Don't worry," DJ whispered to Joe. "Chef doesn't know it, but I secretly put mama's special ingredient on the tomatoes so it wouldn't be so harsh on you."

"Now what makes you think we're going to lose?" Joe demanded. "We've still got time to win, savvy?"

"There are only fifteen minutes left in the challenge boy," Chef hollered over from his now finished hangman's booth. "Half of your team is in jail and your team only has two. You're gonna be covered in tomato sauce in a few more minutes pervy comic boy!"

Chef laughed at Joe as he and DJ left the prison grounds. DJ gave Joe a sympathetic smile and showed him his mama's secret spice to remind him of the tomatoes. Joe glanced at the tomatoes and then at Duncan, who was smirking the whole while.

"Hey, I'm gonna get to do something exciting today after all," he chuckled while giving Joe an evil grin.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Joe – **I knew right then and there that it was now or never. Either I succeeded with my plan at that moment, or our team would lose. There was no other alternative.

_**END**_

_**Veteran's Side (Bridgette, Geoff, and Courtney) **_

"So that Ali captured the sexist prairie boy? Good! We don't need him anyway!" Courtney smiled.

"But if it wasn't for him, we might have all been caught by that heartless little…" Bridgette stopped herself before she said something she might have regretted. "Sorry," she muttered.

"Relax Bridge, I know you're upset about the whole thing and all. Trust me though, Ali doesn't have a chance with me. Why go for a babe when I already have an uber-babe?"

Bridgette and Courtney stared blankly at Geoff for a couple seconds. It was during that time Geoff realized what he had said.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Courtney – **Okay, I know Geoff isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he should at least know by now that you don't call another girl hot in front of your girlfriend! If I ever caught Duncan doing that in front of me, I would pound him so bad, he'd be begging to return to juvenile hall! (She pauses for a second) Not that I like him or anything! I just don't approve of men saying things like that about girls, that's all!

_**END**_

"I mean, she's hot, but she's mean! Bridge, you're hot AND nice! I find that much hotter in a girl!"

"Don't' worry Geoff…I understand what you're getting at," Bridgette chuckled as she hugged her boyfriend. "Just don't try so hard…and it's best to keep some of these thoughts to yourself, okay?"

"Right…sorry," Geoff smiled.

"What are you all doing?" a voice barked from behind. The three friends from the former Killer Bass turned around and saw Heather and Lindsay approaching them. "We still have a challenge to win!"

"Why worry?" Geoff smiled. "We've only got ten minutes left and we've got half the other team in our prison! We're going to win this for sure! All we have to do is stay on our side and that's it! We don't have to worry about freeing Noah."

_**Rookie Prison Grounds (Rikki and Noah)**_

"Honestly, I love a man with dark skin. Oh, it turns me on like a light bulb in the dark!"

"SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

_**Veteran's Side (Bridgette, Geoff, Heather, Lindsay, and Courtney) **_

"Attention campers!" Chris' voice boomed out over the loudspeakers. "Ten minutes remain in the challenge. Right now, the rookies are being crushed by the veterans! Unless something happens, the veteran's will receive invincibility!"

"See? It's in he bag," Geoff smiled.

"Well, I guess not everyone on my team this time is completely useless," Heather smirked. "At least you're doing stuff right."

"Since we don't have to do anything anymore, what do you guys want to do?" Lindsay asked. "Do you want to get tans?"

"Are you serious?" Courtney glared at Lindsay. "We've still got to remain cautious in case something happens!"

By this time, the other four weren't listening to Courtney anymore. They were doing their own thing: Lindsay and Heather laid on the ground and began working on their tans while Geoff and Bridgette found a place to make out under a tree. Courtney just growled in frustration.

_**Veteran's Side (Eva and Aaron) **_

Eva and Aaron were still battling it out in what some people would call the most epic battle of all time. Eva had actually lost her sword to Aaron and had to pick up a large branch to use as a weapon. But even so, she was still finding it difficult to strike Aaron.

"Your powers are weakening, Jedi," Eva taunted. Suddenly, she stopped fighting and slapped herself on the forehead. "Sheesh. Now this geek's got me talking like a geek!"

"Give up your dark ways and surrender!" Aaron taunted back as he charged at Eva once again.

Eva was getting tired of this and wanted the battle to end. So, in a desperate move, she dropped her branch and allowed Aaron to come to her. When the small sci-fi nerd saw her unarmed, he ran full speed ahead to strike down his target before she changed her mind. Unfortunately, he was led right into a trap. When he was close enough, Eva charged him with her arms held out and plowed Aaron to the ground with a powerful clothesline, knocking the Jedi unconscious.

"Nice try nerd," Eva chuckled as she touched the unconscious body with her sword. "You were a worthy opponent, but I'm still the best there is."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Eva – **Just for the record, I was going easy on him. I could have done that any time I wanted to. I just let him get his hopes up.

_**END**_

Eva carried the unconscious nerd to the Veteran's prison grounds and dumped him in front of Beth and the rest of the prisoners.

"What the hell did you do to him?" Greg asked as he gazed upon the motionless body of Aaron.

"He gave me a problem, so I took care of it," Eva grunted. "You got a problem with it?"

"Hell no," Greg laughed. "In fact, I think it's hilarious! I wanted to do that when I first saw him!"

"That is not whimsical," Alicia snapped at the jerk as she looked over Aaron to make sure nothing was broken.

"Whimsical?" Beth asked the writer.

"Funny," Alicia explained with a sigh.

"I think it's whimsical," Greg laughed. "In fact, that's the most damn whimsical thing I've ever seen!"

Alicia stopped her check-up on Aaron and glared at Greg. "You're making a burlesque of me, aren't you?"

"What does it matter?" Jason remarked. "We're going to lose. Our one hope of winning this challenge has just been captured! Ali didn't listen to me and she probably won't tell the others of our situation. It's hopeless!"

"Well, at least we'll have someone to vote off," Amie remarked from her corner.

Instantly, Brandon shrunk where he sat. He knew she was referring to him.

'I'm sorry,' he muttered under his breath.

"ATTENTION CAMPERS!" Chris' voice suddenly boomed out over the loudspeakers "JOE HAS ESCAPED AND IS STARTING TO MAKE HIS WAY OVER TO HIS SIDE! IF HE MAKES IT, THE ROOKIES WIN! IF THE VETERANS CATCH HIM, THEN IT'S OVER! REPEAT! JOE HAS ESCAPED AND IS MAKING HIS WAY OVER TO HIS SIDE!"

"Huh?!" Eva, Beth, Greg, Brandon, Amie, Alicia, Jason, and a now conscious Aaron shouted all at once.

Eva and Beth didn't wait another second. They raced over to where Duncan was supposed to be guarding Joe. When they got there, they found their guard tied up with the noose of the hangman's rope wrapped around his neck and his mouth gagged.

Beth ran up to Duncan and took the gag off of him. "What happened?" she frantically asked.

"I can't believe I fell for that!" Duncan growled.

"What happened?!" Eva barked, sounding very, VERY, angry.

_Flashback_

_Joe looked back and forth from the hangman's platform and Duncan, strategizing his plan in his head. _

"_I'm curious," Joe finally spoke, "are you comfortable in these clothes?" _

"_Huh?" Duncan asked. _

"_Your clothes, mate. Are you comfortable in them?" _

"_Not really…this shirt is chaffing me something terrible!" _

"_Ah, that's something else we have in common then," Joe chuckled. "How soon do you want to get out of these clothes?" _

"_Yesterday," Duncan muttered. _

"_Well then," Joe continued, "I have got a proposition for you!" _

"_I'm not stripping," Duncan grunted. _

"_Relax mate," Joe chuckled. "I'm Captain Joe, not Rikki. Anyways, since our team is bound to lose this challenge, that means I'm going to be tied around the neck and rotten tomatoes are gonna be thrown at me, right?" _

"_Sure are," Duncan smiled evilly. _

"_Then here's what I propose: what say we save a little bit of time and you just noose me up right now. If we wait, then that'll be a few extra minutes more we'll have to spend in these clothes. But if I'm already there tied up, then we'll get out of these clothes faster. Savvy?" _

_Duncan smiled. Somehow, he knew just what the perverted comic artist was planning. Again, he felt like toying with Joe a little. _

"_Sure, I understand," Duncan smiled. "I'm coming in to tie you up right now though. Don't want you trying anything funny." _

"_Fine by me mate," Joe smiled. _

_Sure enough, Joe allowed Duncan to tie his hands behind his back and allowed him to lead him to the hangman's platform. Then Duncan went to work tying the rope to the top of the platform. However, he was looking to have a little bit of trouble doing so. _

"_You know mate, I know a thing or two about tying knots. If you untie my hands, I could help you," Joe innocently said. _

_At that moment, Duncan broke out laughing. _

"_Just how stupid do you think I am?" he laughed._

" '_scuse me?" Joe asked, quirking an eyebrow. _

"_I knew you were going to try something like this," Duncan replied, losing his smile. "Just how stupid do I look? I knew you were going to attempt to earn my trust and then look for an opportunity to escape just like this. Well, I hate to tell you this, but I was just playing with you. I know how to tie knots! I'm a master of tying them!" _

_As soon as he said this, he tied a hangman's knot with the rope in the blink of an eye, much to the shock of Joe. _

"_Sorry to have spoiled your plan, loser, but I'm always a step ahead of you I guess," Duncan laughed. He turned around and threw the rope up over the top beam of the hangman platform. _

_One would have expected Joe to just look on in shock at being out smarted by a juvenile delinquent. But instead, Joe was chuckling evilly himself. _

"_What?" Duncan demanded, turning his attention back to a laughing Joe. _

"_I guess we still have our differences mate," Joe chuckled. _

"_What?" _

"_Well, you say you're a master of tying knots, right?" _

"_Yeah." _

"_Well, mate, I'm a master of UNTYING them!" _

_As he said that, he showed Duncan his hands, freed from the ropes Duncan had tied. _

_END FLASHBACK_

"Then what happened?" Beth asked, shocked.

"I ran for him, but he got out of the way, tripped me, and tied me up!" Duncan explained. "Wait til I get my hands on that loser! I'll pummel him into the ground!"

"If we don't pummel you first," Eva growled.

_**Veteran's Side (Joe) **_

Joe was racing through the woods as fast as he possibly could, looking around himself to make sure no one was nearby that could stab him and cause his team to lose. When he saw that the cost was clear, he darted towards his side once more as fast as possible.

Around him, he knew that the veterans were stopping what they were doing to make sure he wouldn't make it to his side, so he didn't really stop to double check his surroundings. He tripped over a bunch of brush and got caught in numerous thorns all around him time again and again.

He came to an opening in a field where he stopped quickly to catch his breath. He also looked at the sun in the sky: it was barely showing over the horizon. Joe did some quick calculating in his head and figured that there were only five minutes left in the challenge.

He was about to continue on when he suddenly heard something nearby in the bushes behind him. He stood near them and listened closely. It sounded like another camper was there. Wanting to make sure it wasn't anyone from the other team, he lay low on the ground and looked from their feet up to their face. He didn't have to look far as he recognized those designer shoes right away: they belonged to that spoiled rich girl on his team, Ali (Though Joe couldn't remember her name at the time). He sighed a breath of relief when and was about to continue his way over to his side, but something she said caught his attention.

"When I'm done with this competition, I'll make that surfer tramp wish she was never born," she snickered as she started to set something up. "She'll be so mortified, she'll want to quit the competition and that'll leave Geoff all to me!"

Now Joe was very curious and intrigued. At the same time, he was highly irritated and disgusted. What in the world made this person hate Bridgette so much? What was there to hate about a hot, sweet, caring person like Bridgette? What was she planning to do to her?

He stood up slowly and quietly so Ali couldn't hear him. He thought best to leave it alone for the time being and focus on the challenge. He turned around to start running back to the other side, but…

"Oh, bugger!" Joe gasped.

Standing there with their swords ready, eyes glaring, and smiling evilly at Joe were Lindsay, Heather, Beth, Geoff, Bridgette, Courtney, Duncan, and Eva.

_**And I think I'll end it there. I know I promised to have someone voted off this time, but I've written enough for this chapter and I have enough for another long one, so you'll have to wait a little longer. **_

_**Now, for the cliff-hanger questions: What does Ali have in store for Bridgette? Why DOES she hate her so much? Can Joe get out of this predicament and win for his team? And finally, who WILL be the first person voted off Total Drama Madness for real? Tune in next time to find out! **_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: Walking the Plank, er, Dock of Shame**

"Well, this is certainly a predicament, isn't it?" Joe chuckled as he looked upon those that were surrounding him. "I suppose you guys wouldn't be willing to just look the other way whilst I make my way over to my side?"

"Shut it pervert!" Courtney hollered. "You can't sweet talk your way out of this. It's over for you!"

"Hold it," Eva snapped. "You're not going to do it! We're going to leave it to Duncan here! It's his mistake to correct!"

Everyone else seemed to think that this was a good idea and Duncan moved forward with his sword.

"Hey, here's something else you and I don't have in common," Duncan laughed. "I won this challenge and you lost!"

Duncan walked forward to finish Joe off, but he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes went wide with fear and he slowly backed away from Joe. Everyone else there seemed deathly afraid of Joe and they too backed away slowly from where Joe stood.

"Ah, see?" Joe confidently smiled. "You've realized what it is you're up against and now you're allowing me to continue on towards victory to otherwise avoid humiliation and embarrassment from your truly. Wise decision, mates. You…"

As Joe was giving his little speech, he backed away slowly from those surrounding him. However, as he backed up, he bumped into something large, furry, and extremely muscular. Now it was Joe's turn to get big eyed. He slowly reached behind and felt the furry thing behind him. It felt extremely dusty and rugged. He glanced behind and saw that he was grabbing onto something hairy and black. He slowly looked upward and found himself staring into the blood-red eyes of a twelve foot black wolverine that was growling evilly at Joe.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Chris – **(Grinning sadistically) Yeah, so the contracts for the grizzly's ended last season. I thought about resigning them for this season…that is, until I came upon the black wolverine. I knew he'd be enough for the campers to handle this season and he'd bring in the ratings! So yeah…we went with the wolverine.

**Wolverine – **(Roars mightily in the confession cam) _Don't mess with da wolverine, foo! _

_**END**_

Instantly, Joe's jaw dropped almost three feet as he gazed upon the monster, paralyzed in fear. The wolverine lifted its massive paw to strike Joe. Luckily for him, Bridgette ran up and yanked Joe out of the was just in the nick of time. Then, forgetting about the contest and everything else going on around them, the original campers and Joe were racing for their lives with the wolverine hot on their trails.

_**(Ezekiel, Cody, Jamie, and Hannah)**_

"What the heck was that?" Cody shivered as he heard a deafening growl from afar.

"I'd say it was a bear from the sounds of it," Ezekiel replied. "From the sound of that roar, I'd say a monster wolverine too."

"WOLVERINE!" Hannah and Cody exclaimed in fear.

"What's a wolverine?" Jamie asked.

"Imagine the biggest bear you've ever seen in your life and multiply it by ten," Ezekiel calmly replied.

Jamie's eyes went wide with fear and she grabbed a hold of Cody for protection.

"They actually GROW that big?" she asked, her voice shaky.

"Saw one a couple years ago in my backyard that must've weighed abo'ot eight hundred pounds, eh?" Ezekiel said. "Dad scared him off with his bow and arrow, though."

"Do YOU have your bow and arrow with you Ezekiel?" Cody quivered as he grabbed hold of Jamie in fear as well.

"Sure do, eh? We'll be fine if one ever comes our way."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Jamie – **Ezekiel sounds so brave. I sure hope he isn't just talking to impress us. (She pauses for a second) Bears don't REALLY grow that big, do they?

**Cody – **(Looking nervous) After my experience with bears in the first season, I don't think I'm ready to meet that wolverine. When I hear a bear, I'm going to run faster than the speed of light. I'm not getting voted out because of a stupid bear! (He puts his hands over his mouth in fear) I probably shouldn't say that too loud, It might be listening.

_**END**_

Those that were running from the wolverine were still running in fear of being caught in the powerful paws of the furry monster still chasing them.

"Which way?!" Bridgette exclaimed as she frantically looked around her surroundings for an escape.

"I don't care! Just pick one!" Heather demanded.

When they came to a fork in the road, they were forced to make a quick decision. Without announcing anything, Geoff, who was in the front of the group, took the path to the left. Everyone looked behind to see how close the bear was to catching them. To their pleasant surprise, the bear had chosen the path to the left.

"Whew! We're safe," Duncan huffed as he saw the bear taking the path they didn't take.

"Hah! What that bear has in strength, he lacks for brains!" Heather chuckled.

"Does that mean I'm smarter than the bear?" Lindsay excitedly asked.

"It sure does!" Beth smiled.

"Uh, guys," Courtney interrupted. "I hate to ask this, but where's the pervert?"

As soon as they had asked that, everyone noticed that Geoff himself was shaking violently. Geoff seemed confused about this himself. Eva rolled her eyes and turned Geoff around. Standing behind Geoff with a killer grip on him was Joe, shaking vigorously.

"I-I-Is it gone?" Joe whispered.

"Yup! It's gone," Bridgette smiled.

Without warning, Joe let go of Geoff, jumped onto a nearby boulder, and proudly boasted "ALAS, MY NOBLE WOODLAND FOE! THIS IS THE DAY YOU SHALL REMEMEBR AS THE DAY YOU ALMOST GOT TO EAT CAPTAIN JOE SPARROW!"

As soon as he bellowed this out, he felt a sharp poke in his back. He turned around and saw Duncan there with his sword touching Joe.

"And this is the day you'll remember as the say you almost got away from Duncan," he grinned.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Joe – **Now that I look back on that moment, I probably shouldn't have gone into pirate mode like that I should've just snuck away. Then I might've won the competition. Savvy?

**Wolverine – **(In bear language) _Darn it! Those suckas were supposed to go into that trap I had set for them. The one that would boil them at 300 degrees and serve them on a silver platter with apples in their mouths! Next time, foos! Next time! _

_**END**_

Back at the campgrounds, Joe was tied up in his noose while the Veteran's, even those who were captured by the enemy, were standing around Joe, holding rotten tomatoes.

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this," Duncan snickered.

"Me too," Courtney agreed. "It's time to teach this pervert a lesson he'll never forget!"

"Never to infuriate a porn star?" Joe asked from his booth.

Is answer was greeted by a loud scream and a rotten tomato to the face courtesy of the CIT.

"That the juvenile and the cartoonist are two peas in a pod?" Joe asked.

Duncan was the next to paste him in the face with a tomato.

"Lindsay's modeling career is still in the air?"

Lindsay threw her tomatoes at Joe. Then, one by one, every other veteran threw their tomatoes at Joe, covering him in rotten tomato sauce. All of them were enjoying themselves thoroughly.

Afterwards, Joe just looked ashamed as he observed the tomatoes that were plastered on his body. But then, he opened his mouth and swallowed some of the sauce.

"MMM!" he exclaimed. "This tastes wonderful! Best rotten food I've ever had!"

"Huh?!" was the reaction of all the campers.

"DJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Chef hollered.

DJ, who was hiding behind a cabin with his mama's special spice, shivered at the mention of his name and went to hide.

"All righty then!" Chris laughed. "Now that the humiliation is over, it's time to tell the winning team what they've won! Veterans, you'll be thoroughly enjoying the evening as you dine on some of the best food here at Wawanakwa courtesy of Chef DJ under the starry sky!"

All the veteran's cheered in union at the mention of free food.

"As for the rookies, one of you is about to be the first camper voted out of Total Drama Madness! Pick your favorite loser and I'll meet you guys there!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Joe – **Well, it's safe to assume I'm on the chopping block tonight, savvy? Looks like I can't go out of Jack Sparrow mode…yet.

**Jason – **This person screwed up big time today. I'll have no choice but to vote for that individual. As they say: in chess, certain pieces must be sacrificed.

**Jamie – **I know who I'm NOT voting for tonight. Hannah! She and I bonded so much this afternoon, I can't vote her off over that. But as for who TO vote off…I don't know.

**Rikki – **He has to go! He simple has to go! That piggy-wiggy won't interfere with this team's success anymore.

**Amie – **(Looking highly irritated) Brandon.

**Hannah – **After seeing what I saw today, my decision is an easy one.

**Aaron – **The force is telling me to vote for this individual. Rule number one as a jedi: DO NOT oppose the force.

**Ali – **If I had my way, I'd be voting for that loser on the other team. But don't worry, she's going to get hers. My plan isn't ready yet, but it will be soon. And I am going to embarrass the heck out of that Bridgette girl! Mark my words! (She calms herself down) Anyways, I vote for the pervert Joe.

**Greg – **Heh! Brandon literally screwed himself today. The poor bastard's going to be going home tonight. Mark my words. Anyways, I voted for the loser I like the least.

**Alicia – **Giving the current predicament we are in and certain junctures that took place, I have no other alternative than to plebiscite this individual tonight.

**Brandon – **Well, it was fun anyways…even though it was just for one day.

_**END**_

The eleven new campers sat around the campfire pit where the dreaded marshmallow ceremony was about to take place. Chris had arrived with a plate full of marshmallows. Ten to be exact.

"Campers," Chris began. "This is your first marshmallow ceremony ever. Yet for one of you, it will be your ONLY one. Here, marshmallows represent more than just a puffy treat. They represent life. They are the ultimate symbol of a camper. I have ten on this plate. There are eleven of you. The camper that does not receive a marshmallow must return to the dock of shame, catch the boat of losers, and leave Total Drama Madness. And this time, unlike the last two seasons, you WILL NOT come back…EVER!"

"Just watch!" Greg laughed. "I'm putting my money on someone returning tomorrow because he or she got her stupid feelings hurt."

"SHUSH!" Chris demanded.

Greg just rolled his eyes.

"When I call your name, come get a marshmallow! The first name I'm going to call is…

…

…

…

…Jamie!"

"Really! YES!" Jamie squealed. "Did you hear that brother? I'm still alive!"

"That's nice," Chris sighed. "Now come get your marshmallow."

Jamie nodded and received her treat.

"Next, I'm going to call…Jason!"

Jason proudly stood up and claimed his treat.

"Aaron!" Chris smiled.

The Jedi raced up to grab his treat.

"Nerd…I mean, Alicia," Chris snickered.

"Very risible," Alicia growled as she grabbed her marshmallow.

"Hannah!"

The pianist smiled and eloquently grabbed her treat.

"Ali!"

Ali smirked and strutted up to her marshmallow.

"Greg!"

"HELL TO THE YEAH!" Greg shouted and greedily grabbed his marshmallow.

"Amie!"

Amie grinned at Brandon as she walked up to grab her marshmallow.

"Now, we're down to the ones who got votes tonight," Chris said as he looked at the three remaining campers: Brandon, Joe, and Rikki.

"Joe…Brandon…Rikki…and…wait," Chris looked closely at his paper of votes. "Why do I have one vote for Cody on here?"

Joe and Brandon looked at Rikki, who smiled innocently.

"I can't stand being on the same island as that home wrecker!" he protested.

"That's fine and all, but you CAN'T vote for someone who has invincibility!" Chris bellowed out.

"Oh…right," Rikki chuckled.

Chris just sighed. "Anyways, among those who received votes tonight, the one with the lowest votes and the next recipient of a marshmallow is…

…

…

…

…

….Joe."

"Really!?" Joe excitedly asked. "SWEET!" He raced up and took his treat.

"And then there were two," Chris announced, looking at Rikki and Brandon.

Rikki had begun to sweat in his seat. Brandon just hung his head low.

"And the final marshmallow of the night goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…Brandon!"

"WHOO-HOO!" Brandon shouted out in joy as he raced up for his marshmallow. He began dancing around and kissing his treat.

Rikki, who looked shocked and devastated, was at a loss of words.

"But…but…what did I do wrong?!" he asked, seeming heart-broken.

"YES!" a voice suddenly shouted.

All eyes turned to the entrance of the campfire ceremony area to see Noah running towards the campers that had received marshmallows.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank You!" he laughed shaking hands with some of the campers.

"YOU!" Rikki gasped.

"That's right!" Noah laughed. "I talked some of these guys into voting you off tonight! Now I can sleep safe and sound knowing I won't be abused by you!"

"The term is being anally raped," Greg laughed.

"Okay, enough," Chris gagged. "Rikki! Time to go!"

Rikki just hung his head in disappointment as he slowly stood up and made his way down the sock of shame and into the boat of losers.

"As for the rest of you, enjoy your marshmallows," Chris smiled. "You're safe…for tonight."

Up at the cafeteria, the veteran's were enjoying their dinners DJ had cooked for them. Chef had torn the roof off so they could enjoy the starry night view.

Beth and Lindsay were laughing as they ate their cheesecake together. Cody, Eva, and a Noah who was just returning, toasted their glasses of fresh lemonade to their victory. Duncan and Courtney were thoroughly enjoying their rib-eye steaks (though Duncan was enjoying Courtney more than his meal and visa-versa). Heather was chewing on her salad with a smile in each bite. Geoff and Bridgette were sharing a plate of spaghetti together, starting at one end of a noodle and always meeting in the middle.

In the middle of her meal, Bridgette noticed Ezekiel wasn't present at the table. She looked around and saw the door outside was open. Out there was Ezekiel, sitting alone and eating his salmon dinner. She excused herself for a moment and walked outside to visit with him.

"Hey," she smiled. "What're you doing out here all alone?" she asked.

"Hm…just enjoying the view," he replied, looking into the sky. "It's nice to be looking at it from here and not on the boat of losers for a change, eh?"

Bridgette greeted that with a small chuckle. "I know the feeling," she replied. "I was voted off first in a season too."

"Oh yeah. I forgot abo'ot that, eh. To be honest, I was shocked you and Geoff were voted off first."

"Yeah…it would've been nice to win the million. But on the bright side, it strengthened our relationship…somewhat," she said as she grimaced at bad memories of the Aftermath show.

Suddenly, as though he just remembered something important, Ezekiel snapped into attention. "Oh! That reminds me!"

"What?"

"Er…how do I say this? It's not gonna be easy, eh?"

"Zeke? What's wrong?"

"Uh…it's abo'ot first season…when I, you know…tried to get closer to you in the hot tub."

"Uh huh," Bridgette nodded, seeming a little irritated by the memory of it.

"I, uh, didn't realize what a total jerk I was. But then, I saw that bimbo Ali trying to get closer to Geoff and…well…it made me feel no better than her. I mean, I understand now what I did and how it made you and Geoff feel. To be honest, I feel terrible abo'ot, eh?"

Bridgette just looked at Ezekiel. Her face didn't really show any emotion whatsoever.

"Anyways, I just wanted to say…I'm sorry…for everything."

Bridgette then began to chuckle a little. "Boy," she said. "You mentioning all that stuff reminds me of first season. We got off on a really bad start, didn't we?"

"I'll say," Ezekiel chuckled as well.

Then, both were silent for a few minutes just staring into the night sky.

"Let's start over, eh?"

"Huh?"

"You know, like they do in the movies after things start off on the wrong foot? Let's start over!"

Ezekiel extended his hand out to Bridgette and said, "Hi Bridgette. My name's Ezekiel. It's a pleasure to meet you, eh?"

Bridgette didn't know how to respond to this at first. But then after seeing how sincere Ezekiel was, she smiled and accepted his hand shake.

"It's pleasure to meet you too Ezekiel," Bridgette replied. "I'm Bridgette."

Rikki boarded the boat of losers where a special someone was waiting to take him to the playa de losers.

"Hi there!" a male voice called out. Suddenly, the air was filled with tropical music as Rikki saw the sight of his dreams: Justin in a sailor's suit. "I'm supposed to take you to the playa de losers, right?"

Rikki by this time was drooling heavily.

"Take me to heaven first, handsome," he cooed.

"Oh my," Justin shivered as he realized who it was.

**So there it is! One bites the dust! I'm sorry to you Rikki fans out there (if any), but it wasn't meant to be. Anyways, here's what to look forward to for the next challenge: Ali continues her plan to embarrass Bridgette badly; the old campers bond with the new campers; Brandon tries to earn Amie's forgiveness; there will be slime…LOTS OF SLIME! So stay tuned. **

**PS – I LOVE REVIEWS! SO LEAVE 'EM! IT HELPS ME TO BETTER THE STORY FOR YOU READERS OUT THERE**

**Voting Results **

**Joe – Brandon**

**Jamie – Rikki**

**Jason – Brandon**

**Rikki – Cody**

**Amie – Brandon**

**Hannah – Rikki**

**Aaron – Rikki**

**Ali – Joe**

**Greg – Rikki**

**Alicia – Rikki**

**Brandon – Joe**

**TOTAL**

**Rikki – 5**

**Brandon – 3**

**Joe – 2**

**Cody – 1 (Won't count against him)**

**Order voted off - Rikki**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven – Conversations At Breakfast? **

"Come on, Chris! How long does it take to get your hair ready just for an introduction?" Gwen demanded as impatiently readied her camera.

"Don't rush me!" Chris demanded. "Gelling hair isn't just a chore. It's an art!"

Gwen just rolled her eyes as she waited ten more minutes for Chris to get ready for the opening shoot. Once he was ready, he told Gwen to roll camera and he began to speak.

_Last time on TOTAL…DRAMA…MADNESS: the twenty-two campers who were selected to partake in the third season of television's hottest reality show arrived back here at Camp Wawanakwa to compete for a grand prize of two million dollars! Along with eleven all-star competitors to the show, eleven new campers arrived. Instantly, these new campers made friends and enemies with the originals._

_During our first challenge that was based off the popular movie "Pirates of the Caribbean", lots of action and drama unfolded: Ali tried to steal Geoff from Bridgette and insulted our favorite surfer girl to her face, Ezekiel worked on redeeming his past, Brandon insulted Amie, Rikki hit on Noah, Aaron and Eva had an epic battle, and Joe irritated Courtney to no end. In the end, Duncan captured Joe and won the challenge for his team. _

_At the first marshmallow ceremony of the season, despite Brandon's hurtful comments to Amie and Joe costing his team the challenge, it was the cross-dressing Rikki's flamboyant and unorthodox actions that made him the first contestant voted off the island. _

_Today's challenge will be much more harsh on our campers and over half of them will be showing up for the campfire ceremony tonight. But when the going get tough and the tough get going, there's only one question to ask: Who're you gonna call? (Chris pulls up a proton pack and turns it on). Find out today on TOTAL…DRAMA…MADNESS! _

_**SPECIAL OPENING (To the tune on Ghostbusters)**_

_If there's something strange_

_Stalking through the woods_

(Cody and Noah are running away from the woods as fast as they can run as an undead wolverine chases them)

_Guess where you are? _

_WAWANAKWA! _

(A flock of bats fly over Hannah and Alicia, who race for cover)

_If the food tastes weird_

_And it don't look good_

(Chef is serving a questionable dish to Duncan and Courtney, who look at it in disgust)

_Guess where you are_

_WAWANAKWA_

(Geoff, Bridgette, and Ali are standing in front of an haunted mansion. Bridgette and Ali slowly make their way to the door. Then, a spirit races past them, scaring both girls as they both grab onto Geoff for support. Then, realizing what's happening, they glare at each other)

_I ain't afraid of Mclean_

(Joe and Aaron are tip-toeing into another entrance of the mansion, looking around cautiously. Then, out of nowhere, the door they are standing on levitates, shocking both boys. The door then stands on edge, flinging both of them into the house)

_I ain't afraid of Mclean. _

(Greg and Beth are wearing proton packs in the mansion kitchen. Beth holds onto Greg for support, but when Izzy shows up dressed like a vampire, Greg grabs Beth and hides behind her)

_If a giant shark_

_Wants to bite your head_

(Lindsay is lounging in a hot tub outside the mansion with a couple of sharks)

_Guess where you are_

_WAWANAKWA_

_A psycho killer_

_Sleeping in your bed_

(Eva and Heather run out of their cabins after they se the killer with a chainsaw and a hook taking a nap in their cabins)

_Guess where you are_

_WAWANAKWA_

(Brandon is holding a proton pack and fires it off camera while Amie watches from behind. Suddenly, he stops and he and Amie run away in fear as Chef begins chasing them, his butt smoking)

_I ain't afraid of Mclean_

(A ghost is zooming above Jason about to nab him until two blast streams shoot out and wrap the ghost. It is revealed that the blast streams belong to Ezekiel and Jamie as they capture the ghost. The rest of the campers surround them and applaud their efforts)

_I ain't afraid of Mclean! _

(In spooky font, the title TOTAL DRAMA MADNESS appears on the screen)

_END_

It was early in the morning and the sun was just coming up at Wawanakwa. While most everyone else was awake, there was one camper that was up and about along with a crazy red-headed camerawoman.

"Greg?! Where are you?" Izzy shouted as she swung through the trees in search of the jerky contestant. "Ali-Ali Oxen Free! Show yourself Greg?! I know you're out here!"

She landed in an opening and observed the area to see if the man she used to "date" was in the area. "Greg! It's Izzy! Your girl! Where are you?!"

Not too far from where Izzy stood, Greg was hiding behind some bushes, looking both annoyed and nervous that Izzy was so close.

"Go away! Go away!" he muttered to himself. He quietly took a deep breath to try and calm himself down. "So freaking tired of this…freaking go away, you freak!" he continued to mutter.

A few more minutes passed by and Greg hadn't heard anything from Izzy. He slowly poked his head over the bushes to make she was gone. Sure enough, the crazy red-head was nowhere to be seen…or so it seemed.

"Hey Greg," Izzy smiled from behind the built jerk.

Greg let out a small yelp when he saw Izzy standing behind him.

"So, what are you doing down here?" Izzy asked. "Did you lose something?"

"Yes! Yes I did! I lost peace and quiet!" Greg snapped. "What do you want? What do you need? Can I not spend five minutes on this island without having to occasionally deal with you, you animal?!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Greg – **(Looking extremely angry) That psycho bitch is like a cockroach! You just can't get rid of her no matter how many restraining orders you get against her! (He takes a deep breath to calm himself down) Needless to say…I'm pissed.

_**END**_

"Well, I suppose so," Izzy said thoughtfully. "I mean, you're a contestant and I'm not."

"Damn right!" Greg sneered.

"But I suppose if you want to get rid of me, then that means you don't want some inside information about the challenge," Izzy replied as she began to walk away.

"Huh?! Hey! Wait! Izzy! What are you talking about?" Greg called out to her.

"The challenge, silly," Izzy evilly smiled. "I had some information that could have helped you win. Oops, but too late. You don't want to talk to me. So you don't get to hear!" Izzy continued to walk away as she shouted back, "Oh! By the way, when I scared you, you wet yourself a little!"

Greg looked down at his pants and sure enough, they were wet.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Greg – **Did I say I was pissed? I meant I'm EXTREMELY PISSED!"

_**END**_

An hour later, Chris sounded his horn and awoke the campers for breakfast. The remaining campers dragged themselves into the kitchen for their breakfast (most of them were wondering why they were even bothering to bring themselves to this).

Luckily for the campers, when they received their mashed scrambled eggs and charred bacon, DJ had snuck some of his special mama's spice onto the food. Chef growled at him when he noticed the campers were having little to no trouble downing their food, but couldn't find any trace of his special ingredient.

At the tables, Brandon was sitting with Joe and Aaron, just listening in on their conversation about whether Captain Jack Sparrow or Darth Vader would make for a better guest character on the next installment of Super Smash Brothers without saying much. His attention was more turned onto Amie, who was sitting with Courtney and Eva, talking to them about something.

"Darth Vader would annihilate Jack Sparrow!" Aaron declared. "You don't mess with the dark side!"

"Ah, but the thing is when you think the dark side is just the way out, just when you think it can't be defeated, just when you think it has won, you forget one very important thing, mate: he's captain Jack Sparrow!" Joe coolly replied.

"Brandon! We need you to settle this for us, my fine fellow," Aaron called over to the soccer player. "Who would you rather see in a video game: Darth Vader or Captain Jack Sparrow?"

Both awaited Brandon for an answer, but they got none. They followed his eyes to where he was looking and saw him staring at Amie with a frown on his face.

"Why would you frown when staring at something a pretty as that mate?" the perverted cartoonist asked the soccer star.

"Oh…I don't know. I guess I feel bad."

"About what?" Aaron asked.

"Well, she and I had a little argument yesterday and…well, I called her a fat cow."

Aaron and Joe looked shocked by this. They had heard there was an argument, but they hadn't heard this.

"You can't be serious," Aaron replied, seeming somewhat disappointed with Brandon.

"Mate, if you consider her a fat cow, what do you consider me: Jupiter come to earth?"

"I know! It was stupid and I only said it because…because she was driving me crazy and I just wanted to shut her up. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings." He admitted.

"Brandon, a Jedi may not know a lot about showing love, but we know not to call girls fat to their faces," Aaron replied.

"On top of that mate, she's not fat. In fact, she's quite hot," Joe added. "If she were my girlfriend, I know guys would envy me."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Brandon – **(he sighs) Well, this is certainly a mess I've gotten myself into. I mean, I've insulted girls before…but…why do I feel so bad about it this time? I want to just forget about it, but my conscious won't let me.

**Aaron – **Mesa thinks Brandon no have anything upstairs in head if hesa thinksa Amie fatso. (he chuckles) Jar Jar Binks.

**Joe – **Seriously, if I had a girlfriend like Amie, I'd be the happiest man on earth, savvy? Same thing goes for Lindsay…and Bridgette…and Courtney…and Hannah…and…oh heck, all the girls here are hot! I even think Beth is hot!

_**END**_

Cody was sitting next to Alicia and Noah at the breakfast table, enjoying the burnt toast for a change (Chef glared at DJ again, who pretended nothing was happening). He looked up and saw Hannah heading his way. He tried to signal her over, but she didn't see him and took a seat next to Jason and Heather, who seemed to be talking about something. Cody let out a sigh.

"You appear flustered," Alicia spoke, noticing Cody's upset expression.

"Well, it's just that…well…I think that Hannah chick is cute and cool…but I don't think she notices me. I mean, she's all classy and fashionable and I'm…"

"…slothful, addictive to computer entertainment, and unkempt?" Alicia interrupted.

"NERD!" Noah coughed from behind his book.

"Ignoramus," Alicia snapped back.

"Would it kill you to use one-worded syllables once in awhile?" Noah sighed, still not looking up from his book.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Noah – **Okay, I know I always complain about people lacking intelligence on this show, but Alicia is a little too proud about her IQ. Seriously, half the people here don't even know what she's saying half the time. It's pointless.

**Cody – **I guess I shouldn't be too disappointed about not being able to hit it off with Hannah…I mean, I'm used of it by now: being rejected by a girl for someone much classier, hunkier, and cooler than me, as Lindsay so plainly put it first season.

_**END**_

"So anyways, I have a plan that can get us to the final three," Heather spoke as Jason and Hannah listened attentively, "but I need two people to help me get there and I've chosen you two. Work with me and you're guaranteed a spot in the final three and a one in three chance at the two million dollars! What do you say?"

Both Jason and Hannah just stared at Heather blankly.

"Um, do you think we're stupid or something?" Hannah demanded of the queen bee. "Do you not think we saw the first season or something?"

"I wouldn't align myself with you if you were the last contestant in the entire universe," Jason added. "Besides, I've already got a strategy that'll get myself into the finals of this competition."

"You know," Heather glared at the two newcomers, "I am a powerful competitor in this competition. I can either be your best friend or your worst enemy. It's up to you, really. You can both join my alliance and guarantee your safety, or you can pretty much sign your own death warrant. It's your choice."

"Sorry, but I'll take my chances elsewhere," Hannah coldly replied. With that, she grabbed her plate and headed off to sit with Jamie, who was looking at her food strangely.

"As I've said, I have a plan worked out that will guarantee me victory in this game. I've never lost before and I'm not about to lose now," Jason repeated himself and grabbed his food to eat elsewhere, leaving Heather to sit by herself.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Heather – **What a bunch of amateurs! Do they seriously think they can get far in this game with me against them? If I have anything to say about it, those two are the next to go!

**Hannah – **I can't believe Heather would think I would join forces with her after seeing her in the last two seasons. She's pure evil! She's even worse than Chernabog from the score "Night on Bald Mountain".

**Jason – **It's simple really. I'm a king in this competition. Heather is a queen piece, no doubt. But you know what they say: the queen piece is always the center target in a game of chess…and I plan to take her out first.

_**END**_

"So are we agreed?" Amie asked Eva and Courtney. "The three of us form an alliance and take out the three boys that annoy us the most?"

"Definitely!" Courtney evilly grinned. "First chance we get, we'll take out Brandon. After him, it's that pervert Joe. Then, finally…"

"That sexist pig Ezekiel!" Eva smiled. "This island will be so much more enjoyable with those three gone!"

"Agreed!" Courtney smiled. "Here's to the girls alliance! And here's to the elimination of those three pigs!"

Amen!" Amie cheered as she raised her glass of pink-colored orange juice to the sky. She smirked as she looked over to where Brandon was sitting. The soccer star was looking at her, with almost a pitiful look on his face. Amie felt a little uneasy about this, but shrugged it off and toasted to the girl's alliance.

At that moment, Duncan sat down with the three girls and wrapped his arms around Courtney. At first, she leaned into the hug, almost melting, but she remembered who she was sitting with and puller herself out of the hug.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Duncan – **Sheesh. What's with Courtney lately? Ever since that Amie girl's been talking to her, she never wants to cuddle or anything anymore. Darn feminists!

**Amie – **Who does Duncan think he is? Do we look like objects for them to grapple whenever their hormones start acting up? Maybe after we eliminate Brandon, Ezekiel, and Joe, we can get rid of him too.

**Eva – **I ain't got a problem with that Duncan guy. He hasn't done me any wrong. It's that Ezekiel I want gone most of all! With our new alliance, I promise you that it's going to happen.

_**END**_

Beth and Lindsay were talking to one another about the possible things they could do together once the show was over. Lindsay was getting Beth all excited about a helicopter ride her dad could take them on for one of his business trips. Likewise, Beth was getting Lindsay excited about hiking through the woods in her backyard.

Ezekiel was sitting near them, just listening in amazement as how opposite these two were, yet they had become the best of friends throughout the series. He had become extremely happy for their newfound friendship. He then looked a little ways down the table to where Geoff and Bridgette were. They had no interest in Chef's food. Instead, they were making out…again.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Ezekiel – **You know, it's nice to be able to survive for more than one day for a change, eh? I mean, I never really noticed how close people were to one another until I actually saw them together. Beth and Lindsay…Geoff and Bridgette…it's nice not having everyone hating you all at once, eh?

**Beth – **I'm so excited! Lindsay thinks that she can get her dad to fly us over to Australia for a weekend when he has to close a deal to open a branch of his business over there! I'm so stoked!

**Lindsay – **Beth is soooooooo cool! I mean, I've never been on a tractor before. I wonder if she could get her dad to take us on a ride on her farm.

**Geoff and Bridgette – **(They're making out….surprise, surprise, surprise.)

_**END**_

While everyone was eating and visiting, the door burst open. Everyone expected to see Chris standing there, prepared to introduce them to the day's challenge. But instead, there was Greg, covered in a green substance and leaves sticking to it.

"Whoa! What happened to you?" Eva asked, seeming somewhat confused.

"A green slimeball vapor-thingy, that's what happened!" Greg snapped. "I was just walking back from a little trip through the woods when this THING came flying out of a tree! I didn't get a good look at it, but it was flying through trees and rocks and guess what else? ME!"

The other contestants just gazed at Greg, shocked and confused by his story.

"So yeah, this thing left its crap all over me as a result. It's in my hair, all over my body, in my ears, up my nose, in my eyes and now everything looks and feels a little loopy…yeah I'm hoping this is temporary," Greg added, seeming highly irritated.

"Don't worry Greg," Chris said from behind the jerk. "It is. Also, it's nothing a little dive in the creek can't clean off."

"Wait, you know what happened to him?" Cody asked.

"Sure do, Cody my man. That think that attacked Greg is actually part of your challenge today. As you're all aware, yesterday's challenge was based off of a very popular movie "Pirates of the Caribbean". With that being said, I have a little announcement: the producers liked the idea of the challenge being based off of a particular movie. Therefore, as a result, it was unanimously decided that the remainder of these challenges will all be based off of popular movies in our culture!"

Most of the campers liked this idea and applauded it. The only exception at the time was Greg, who was still quite upset about being covered in slime.

"Anyways, getting back to today's challenge," Chris continued. "Today, we're basing this challenge off of one of the more popular comedies made of all time: Ghostbusters!"

"Oh, I LOVE that movie!" Bridgette smiled, stopping her make-out session with Geoff.

"Me too!" Duncan smiled.

"Me most!" Beth squealed. "Slimer was SO cute!"

"Slimer? Cute? He sounds like a sleaze-ball biker dude," Jamie replied, sounding disgusted.

_**Confession CamA fiar! **_

**Duncan – **Boy, that girl needs to get out more

_**END**_

"AHEM!" Chris grunted, annoyed by being interrupted. "Anyways, getting back to the challenge. As Greg here witnessed first handed, there's a green little slime-ball flying around this island. There're three of them, in fact. In just a few minutes, you'll be divided into seven teams of three. Then, you'll all be given equipment that was used in the movie to capture these ghosts. Your challenge is simple: capture one of these three ghosts. The first three teams to capture a ghost win invincibility and reward!"

"What's reward mate?" Joe asked.

"I'm glad you asked," Chris smiled. "Tonight's reward is a fun one! You see, back on mainland, there's a county fair that just came into town. And tonight's all-you-can-ride night. The nine teens who win today's challenge will be going to mainland to have a fun night at the fair!"

All the campers, even Greg, cheered at this.

"As for everyone else, you'll be coming to the campfire ceremony tonight where one of you will be next to go home. Meet me outside in tne minutes where I'll announce the teams."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Jason – **This could be fun! I wouldn't mind spending a night at a carnival. (He grins) This challenge is mine!

**Ali – **I am so going to win this challenge! So is Geoff. Then, I'll be able to have a little one-on-one time with that hunk!

**Jamie – **A fair! Yes! I love fairs! Especially the horse barns! I can't wait to win today!

**Geoff – **WHOO! A carnival! I love carnivals! The roller coasters! The Zippers! The Ferris Wheels (he smiles dreamily) It'll be a perfect date for Bridge and I

**Joe – **County fairs, huh? You know what that means, right? (He pauses for a minute) GIRLS! WHOO HOO!

_**END**_

The campers were all assembled outside a giant mansion. The mansion looked extremely beat down and old. All the windows were broken and the wood was all rotted away.

"This structure does not look unassailable," Alicia shivered as she studied the building.

"You're right. It isn't," Chris laughed. "Anyways, the ghosts are in here. And they're going to stay in here until you catch them. Here are your proton packs, PKE meters, and ghost traps to help you win the challenge!"

Chris snapped his fingers and Harold, Trent, and Tyler came over, carrying all the equipment the contestants were going to need.

"Trent! What's up?!" Cody called over.

"Not much," Trent smiled.

"Trent! No talking!" Chris snapped, to which Trent just rolled his eyes. "Anyways, for those of you who don't know what these things do, let me explain!"

Chris grabbed a large gun attached to a backpack. "This is your proton pack. You will need these to capture the ghosts. The streams are the only thing you will have to actually get hold of the little slimes! One thing to remember when handling these thing and this is IMPORTANT! Do NOT, under any circumstances, no matter what, do NOT cross the streams!"

"Why?" Jamie asked.

"Imagine all time as you know it suddenly ending," Noah explained, to which the sheltered country girl's eyes went as wide as dinner plates.

"Next," Chris continued, "are the PKE meters!" he grabbed a hold of a hend-held device that had antennas shooting up from it. "These things will help you track down the ghosts. The louder the beeping noise from the PKE meter, the stronger the signal. The stronger the signal, the closer you are to finding a ghost."

"Uh…I don't get it," Lindsay said, looking very confused.

"No one expects you to," Chris replied. "Finally, the traps: You press this button the open the trap and a light will come out and suck the ghost in. Once it's in, push it again to close it. Again, first three teams to do so win. Any questions?"

Everyone rose their hands in the air to ask a question.

"No questions? Good!" Chris smiled, to which everyone growled. "Now to announce the teams. Just to let you know, I made these teams based solely off of what I felt would bring in the most ratings."

"Oh, that can't be good," Duncan shivered.

"Our first team will be all girls, consisting of Eva…Courtney…and Amie!"

The three girls just smiled as they walked forward to grab their equipment, amazed as the convenience and coincidence of this choice of team.

"Next, I think I'll make an all-boys team…Aaron, Duncan, and Greg!"

"Damn," Greg hissed as he stepped forward. "I'm part of a sausage fest!"

"Shut up," Duncan growled as he and Aaron went to grab their equipment.

"Now, this next team is one I'm really looking forward to seeing how they cooperate with one another," Chris grinned. "Ali…Geoff…and Jamie!"

"What?!" No!" Bridgette cried out in both despair and anger.

"Sorry honey, but all teams are final," Ali smiled as she grabbed her equipment.

"But…why HER?!" Bridgette demanded.

"Good TV," Chris replied.

"Don't worry babe," Geoff assured the surfer girl. "No matter what she does, she'll never be able to convince me to go out with anyone else but you."

"Oh, that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard," Bridgette smiled as she began kissing her boyfriend once again.

"Okay you two, save it for later," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "It's time to announce the next team…Heather…Jason…and Hannah!"

"What?!" all three of them cried out, seeming disgusted with the idea.

"Just go! We're wasting enough time as it is," Chris demanded. "Next is…Brandon…Bridgette…and Joe!"

"How is THAT interesting?" Brandon asked.

"Next…" Chris continued, ignoring Brandon's question. "…I think I'll bring back an old team alliance…Lindsay…Beth…and Ezekiel!"

"Cool! Just like old times!" Beth squealed.

"I totally love the idea!" Lindsay added, squealing just as loudly.

Ezekiel just smiled as he walked ahead to grab his equipment. "At least it's with two people who like me, eh?" he said.

"And that leaves our last three campers: Cody…Noah…and Nerd, I mean, Alicia."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Alicia – **Okay, I'm getting highly abraded with everyone calling me "Nerd" just because I have a large abundance of vocabulary words in my vocabulary.

**Noah – **Oh nice…putting me and Cody on the same team just because girls like seeing us together.I don't look at Cody like that and I never will! (He gets close to the camera) GOT THAT!?

**Chris – **Okay, I have a bet with Chef. I bet him thirty bucks that by the end of this challenge, Noah and Cody will be kissing. (He grins evilly) And I think I may have to help tilt those odds in my favor.

_**END**_

After the teams were announced, the campers all got their equipment on and stood outside the haunted house, awaiting Chris' signal.

Bridgette glared over at Ali, who stood closer to Geoff than she would care for her to be.

Courtney, Eva, and Amie smiled as they looked over to where their sworn enemies were.

Heather, Hannah, and Jason stood together uncomfortable, not really thrilled about being together after their conversation that morning.

"Okay, Ghostbusters…on your mark…get set…go!"

**And I think I'll end it here for now. So, it's time for the questions: **

**Who will win this challenge? **

**Can Heather, Jason, and Hannah co-exist as a team? **

**Will Courtney, Eva, and Amie's alliance work and get their targeted enemies voted off the island? **

**Will Ali get her way with Geoff? **

**Will Greg be able to get his restraining order against Izzy working again? **

**Tune in to find out! Don't forget to check out the new poll I have on my profile! It'll really influence the next chapter I'' write for my other story "You're on Total Drama Island, Charlie Brown!" **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight – Who You Gonna Call? **

_**(Cody, Noah, and Alicia) **_

The three nerds were standing outside the rotted-down mansion in the back, debating whether or not they should risk entering the building. It looked as though it would collapse at any second.

"Well, are we going in?" Cody shivered.

"If you're willing to risk death, be my guest," Noah sarcastically replied.

"One would have to be fatuous to enter that enfeebled structure," Alicia added.

At that moment, they heard the laughter of the three ghosts inside the building, reminding them of the challenge at hand.

"Well, if we're going to win, it's our only shot," Cody sighed, turning on his proton pack and making his way to the back entrance.

Noah just sighed, turned on his pack, and followed the tech geek into the building, muttering something about hating himself for signing up for this show in the first place. Alicia hesitated at first, but didn't want to give anyone a reason to vote her off, so she followed her teammates.

Cody went to open the door, but at the mere touch of the handle, the door collapsed and disintegrated into dust.

"Well, I sure feel secure about entering this building now," Noah muttered.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Noah – **Okay, seriously, how can Chris get away with this?

**Chris – **Simple…if they had read paragraph 3, section 6, line 2 of the contracts, they would see that there is a disclaimer stating that if they are injured on this show, we, the producers and staff of this show, are not responsible for any injuries contestants may sustain…so yeah, we're milking that for all it's worth!

_**END**_

_**(Ali, Geoff, and Jamie) **_

Geoff, Ali, and Jamie had already entered the building from the front door along with everyone else. But the other teams had gone their separate ways. He blew a kiss to his uneasy girlfriend before going off with his teammates. Their proton packs were turned on to full blast and all three of them were on full alert for the ghosts lingering in the building.

"You'll protect me from those mean ghosts, won't you handsome?" Ali cooed as she lightly grabbed onto Geoff's arm.

"Uh…I guess I can," Geoff replied, somewhat uneasily as he pulled his arm away.

"Oh, don't be so cold," Ali teased. "I don't bite…hard."

"You still bite people?" Jamie asked, seeming shocked. "You know, there are special help seminars for that. I had to attend one when I was younger because I kept biting the neighborhood bully whenever he picked on my friends."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Ali – **Ugh! That bimbo is so figurative! Seriously…that's not normal.

**Jamie – **I heard Ali say to Geoff not to be so cold…how can you control how you feel temperature wise? (She suddenly gasps) You don't think he's sick too? Is there something going around here? I'm sure glad my parents had me get those shots before I came out here.

_**END**_

Ali winked at Geoff once before walking ahead of her group. Jamie walked up to Geoff and put a hand on his forehead.

"Uh…what are you doing?" Geoff asked, uncomfortable again.

"Well, I heard Ali say you were cold…funny, you don't feel that cold."

Geoff stared at Jamie blankly for second before chuckling out loud.

"What's so funny?" Jamie asked.

"Oh…never mind," Geoff smiled, wiping a tear from his eye. "I'm just glad you're not hitting on me too."

"Why would I hit you? You haven't done anything to deserve that."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Geoff – **Jamie seems like a really cool girl. It's a little sad that she's so naïve and sheltered though. (He's silent for a second and then his face lights up) I know! From now on, whenever I get the chance, I'm going to teach Jamie all there is to know about the real world! Yeah!

_**END**_

_**(Courtney, Eva, and Amie) **_

Courtney was holding up her PKE meter, looking for any trace of paranormal activity in the building. She was swiping at cobwebs and on the lookout for spiders more than ghosts.

"How can that man sleep at night putting us through this torture?" she scoffed as she spat out some cobweb that had brushed across her lips and went into her mouth.

"I'm putting my money on sleeping pills," Eva huffed as she brushed aside a thick layer of cobwebs in front of a door leading to the kitchen. "Let's check this room out."

The three ladies cautiously entered the kitchen, ready for anything that might come their way. Courtney kept her PKE meter up at all times, ready whenever it gave off a signal.

"Well…nothing yet," Courtney sighed. "How do we even know they're inside this mansion?"

At that moment, they heard a high-pitched laugher break out through the mansion. Amie and Courtney shivered a little whilst Eva just quirked an eyebrow.

"They're here all right, but not anywhere close to us," Eva replied as she looked at Courtney's PKE meter, which gave no signal at all.

"Well, while we're waiting, let's talk strategy," Amie suggested, sitting down in a worn-out chair. Seconds later, the chair gave way and crumbled into dust, making Amie land on the floor. "Anyways," she continued as she stood up and brushed herself off, "we know our three primary targets for elimination are Ezekiel, Joe and Brandon. Brandon and Joe are on one team with Bridgette and Ezekiel is with Lindsay and Beth. Brandon, Joe, and Bridgette are more likely to catch a ghost than Ezekiel, Lindsay, and Beth."

"What's your point?" Eva asked.

"So that means that Ezekiel is probably going to be up for elimination tonight. So here's what I'm thinking: we throw this challenge."

"WHAT?!" Eva and Courtney demanded at the same time.

"I mean we lose on purpose," Amie explained.

"I know what you mean!" Eva barked. "But if you think I'm going to lose this challenge on purpose, you're whacked! I don't lose!"

"Sorry Amie, I have to agree with Eva here," Courtney added. "It's too risky. Besides, I'm looking for any method of getting off this crummy campground as long as possible. Even if it's for a night at a fair, I'll take it!"

"I know there's a risk and we'd lose out on a nice prize, but look at the bigger picture here!" Amie demanded. "With Ezekiel up for elimination tonight, we could vote him off! But only the losers will get to vote him off. If we win and go to the fair, we don't vote."

"So?" Eva asked.

"So the chances of Ezekiel being eliminated would be slim if someone like Greg, Ali, or Heather were up there too. But if WE'RE there, we can talk to a couple of people and motivate them to vote for Ezekiel. With their votes and our three, he's gone! Then, we'd have the other people's votes later on in the game for Brandon and Joe."

Eva and Courtney looked from Amie to each other for a couple minutes before deciding:

"That's actually pretty slick," Courtney replied, sounding impressed.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Courtney – **Amie is actually a pretty good strategist. I can see her becoming a very successful business woman someday…maybe even getting into politics. She certainly has superior leading skills than most the other campers here (She pauses for a second, then gets an irritated look on her face) I said MOST. She's good, but she's no CIT.

_**END**_

"Well, in that case, I guess I could go with that plan," Eva sighed. "But if I see one of those ghosts, I'm gonna put up a fight!"

Suddenly, as if on cue, Courtney's PKE meter started blinking and humming. All three girls gasped and looked around the room frantically.

_**(Greg, Aaron, and Duncan) **_

Aaron had picked up a signal on the PKE meter and was following it throughout the mansion while Greg and Duncan just followed.

"Hey, Luke Gaywalker, how close are we to finding the ghost?" Greg demanded.

"I'm not sure, but we're on the right track," Aaron replied, ignoring the insult. "Our PKE meter is responding very strongly right now so…"

At that moment, the three boys heard a high, sadistic laugh coming from the room next to them. All three froze instantly in their tracks, grabbed hold of their proton packs, fired them up, and prepared to fire.

Duncan took leadership over the role of group leader and huddled everyone together for a quick briefing.

"All right, listen up," he whispered. "I'm going to go near the door. When I get there, I'll tell you guys where to stand. Once you're in position, I'll storm the room and try to chase the ghost out here. Once it's out here, let him have it! Hopefully, it'll be enough to tire it out can catch it! Any questions?"

"I've got lots of them, but now isn't the time or high enough rated show to ask," Greg snickered.

Duncan rolled his eyes and moved to the side of the door. When he reached the door, Duncan began to make hand signals to his two teammates, directing them around the room. Aaron was able to understand most of these signals and moved to where the delinquent told him to go. Greg, however, was having a little more trouble understanding these hand signals.

"Yo, tough guy wanna-be! I'm not deaf! Tell me where to go!" Greg snapped after failing to understand it for the third time. Duncan rolled his eyes and pointed over to the far corner of the room, opposite of where Aaron was standing.

When all three men were in position, Duncan put his plan into action: he barged into the room. When in there, he searched high and low for the ghost. Immediately, he caught something moving in the corner of the room. Acting solely on instinct, he fired his proton pack at it. The bright light shot from the gun towards the target. However, the target was too quick for Duncan and it dodged out of the way and headed for the door in which Duncan came in.

"GET READY GUYS!" Duncan hollered, following the target as it exited the room. When it got out, Duncan could hear a scream of terror coming from Greg outside the room.

'Just how horrifying does that ghost look?', Duncan shivered as he listened to Greg scream. But when he got out of the room to check on his teammates, he could only laugh at what he saw.

"Oh, Greg, you should've seen it!" Izzy laughed as she wrapped herself around Greg. "It was SO cute! And green! And slimy!"

"I can kinda tell," Greg muttered as he glanced down at Izzy, who was covered in slime. "Now could you please let go of me. I kinda got this thing about crazy girls covered in ghost snot hugging me that I don't like."

"But you should try it," Izzy smiled. "It feels so good!"

"I'll take your word for it," Greg replied, sounding highly annoyed.

"Wait a second, Izzy…you SAW the ghost?" Duncan asked.

"Sure did!" Izzy replied. "One of three. Real playful and fun, that one. Oh my gosh! You should see it do an impression of me! It was, like, so dead on. It flew around the room all crazy-like and it flew through me quite a few times too. That explains the slime, huh?"

"How long ago?"

"Before the challenge started," Izzy replied.

"Wait a minute: it wasn't in that room just now?" Greg demanded.

"Nope!"

Aaron seemed highly confused by this. Why did the PKE meter pick up a ghost signal if there wasn't a ghost in the room? Then, it hit him: the slime.

"Of course!" Aaron exclaimed excitedly. "It all makes sense now! It wasn't a ghost the PKE meters were picking up. It was the residue of the ghosts covering Izzy the PKE meters were reading."

"Wait…so they pick up any leftover slime too?" Greg asked.

"Perfect," Duncan sighed. "That means any time those buggers go through walls, the PKE meters will direct us to the slime they leave behind. How are we going to find them like that?"

"The answer is simple," Aaron grinned. Then, without warning, he threw the PKE meter to the ground and stomped on it until it was broken.

"HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Greg snapped.

"I have rendered the PKE meters useless!" Aaron announced. "They can lead us in the wrong direction from our target. Therefore, there is only one possible method of tracking down these paranormal creatures!"

"If he says what I think he's going to say…" Duncan sighed.

"Gentlemen, we must use the force!" Aaron smiled.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Greg – **(Folding his arms) Okay, it's official…I'm pissed again.

**Aaron – **It seems that my fellow teammates lack faith in the force and it's guidance. But I'll show them. With the force, I shall lead my team onward to victory and capture one of the ghosts. Then, once and for all, I will make the nonbelievers into believers! (He grins wickedly before continuing) Difficult, this task will not be. Succeed, I will.

_**END**_

"Oh cool!" Izzy smiled as she listened to Aaron. "I've always wanted to try using the force. It would be SO helpful in my journeys of escaping the RCMP. Hey, maybe you can train Greg here so he and I can run away from the RCMP into the sunset together! What do you say, my slimy hunk of man?"

"I say get away from me," Greg growled.

"Aw, come on! It'd be fun and you know it!" Izzy teased.

"Go away!" Greg demanded again.

"Not until you give me a big, wet, slimy kiss!" Izzy smiled as she puckered up her lips.

"GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!" Greg hollered.

Then, without warning, he pulled out his proton pack and fired it directly at Izzy. But the crazy red-head, with her heightened instincts, leapt out of the way and flipped through the air, crying her mighty battle-cry while doing so. Greg, driven by anger and fear, continued to aim the proton rays at Izzy as she flew through the air. But no matter how fast he was, Izzy was always a little faster. What scared Greg the most was she seemed to be enjoying it thoroughly.

_**(Heather, Jason, and Hannah) **_

"So you don't know what kind of music Cody's into?" Hannah asked Heather as they continued their way down the halls.

"No, and I couldn't care less," the queen bee snapped. "All I care about is winning invincibility, going to that fair, and getting a little junk food in my system!"

"Huh? I though you'd hate that stuff," Hannah replied.

"When you've been around Chris as long as I have, you start to crave it more and more," Heather explained.

"Hey! Pay attention!" Jason suddenly exclaimed. "We've got one coming our way!"

Sure enough, Jason's PKE meter was growing stronger. All three pulled out their proton packs, revved them up, and went into ghost busting mode.

"Jason…which way is it coming from?" Hannah whispered.

"I'm not sure," Jason replied, trying to study the PKE meter. "What a cheap piece of equipment. If I had some of my tools, I would've been able to track that thing down with little to no trouble at all. In fact, I…"

But Jason never got to finish his statement. Just then, one of the three ghosts came flying out from behind a wall…right behind Heather. It flew right through the queen bee, sliming her heavily.

"UGH! MY HAIR!" she shrieked, shocked and disgusted with the slime the ghost had covered her with.

The ghost was having a good laugh at this as it as it clenched it's stomach as it laughed. Like Chris had said, the ghost looked just like Slimer from the original movies: green, about one foot tall, arms and no legs, and yellow eyes.

"YOU LITTLE CREEP!" Heather shrieked. "WHEN I CATCH YOU, I'M GONNA…"

Again, the ghost wouldn't allow the sentence to finish. It flew down in front of Heather, grabbed hold of her face, and planted a big, wet, slimy kiss right on her lips. Heather gagged and muffled as the ghost make sucking sounds during the kiss. Finally, after two minutes, the ghost released Heather from the kiss, leaving a big, slimy spot on her face. It howled with laughter again and fled the hallway into the next room.

Heather gagged and spit up slime that had gotten in her mouth for a few minutes before turning angrily to her teammates.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TWO DO ANYTHING?!" she demanded.

"Because we hate you," Jason and Hannah laughed together.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Heather – **(She's still trying to get the slime off her face) UGH! Those two are going to regret the day they crossed me! I'll see to it they get voted out of this game as soon as I get the chance to vote them off!

**Hannah – **(Smiling) I love watching Heather getting what she has coming to her.

**Ghost #1 (Prankster Ghost) – **(The ghost is grunting and subtitles are displayed underneath) Ho Ho Ho! That raven-haired babe needs to work on her kissing game. You can't tell me a girl that hot has never been kissed before. I sure would've enjoyed the full pleasure of her kissing! Oh well, I'll take what I get. (It breaks into laughter, slimes the camera, and leaves the booth)

_**END**_

_**(Lindsay, Beth, and Ezekiel) **_

"…So mom and dad think that when we get back from this show, we can spend a weekend up at the lake camping and fishing!" Beth excitedly told Lindsay as they walked down one of the hallways.

"Oh my gosh! I would love to go camping!" Lindsay squealed. "I've never been on a real camping trip!"

"Uh, Lindsay, we just got off of Total Drama Island not too long ago, eh?" Ezekiel explained to the blonde. "That basically was camping."

"Yeah, but there'd be one major difference," Beth smiled. "My camping trip would be fun while Total Drama Island wasn't."

Ezekiel was quiet for a couple seconds before realizing she was right. He was going to need a vacation after this vacation.

Then, Beth's PKE meter started flashing.

"We got one!" she excitedly said.

"Great!" So what's our plan?" Ezekiel asked his two teammates.

"Uh…I don't know, I figured we'd just shoot whenever we saw it," Beth replied honestly.

"Oh! I know!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Why don't we have Tyler wear it down and we catch it after he beats it?!"

Beth and Ezekiel just stared at Lindsay for a couple seconds, blank expressions on their faces.

"Uh…Tyler isn't in this season, remember?" Beth whispered to her BFF.

He's not?!" Lindsay whined. "Aw, come on! That's the second season in a row we've been apart!"

Just then, a high-pitched laughter broke in the room and one of the three ghosts flew in. Again, it broke out laughing hysterically. It began to study the three campers in the room intriguingly. Lindsay, Beth, and Ezekiel were doing the same.

"Uh…are YOU Tyler?" Lindsay asked the ghost.

While Beth and Ezekiel let out a sigh, the ghost turned its attention to Lindsay. When it saw her and how beautiful she was, it's eyes formed heart shapes and it's tongue fell out of it's mouth.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Ghost #2 (Love-sick Ghost) – **(In it's own language) I ain't this Tyler fellow she spoke of….but for her, I could be.

_**END**_

The ghost flew down to Lindsay and, much like the other one had done to Heather, gave her a slimy kiss right on the lips. This one, however, rubbed its slimy hands through her hair while slipping its slimy tongue into her mouth.

"Woah!" Beth and Ezekiel exclaimed, seeming shocked by what was happening.

Finally, the ghost released Lindsay, swooning after it's performance in the make-out session.

Lindsay stood there, just as shocked and dumbfounded as Beth and Ezekiel. If not, more so. The ghost just smiled at Lindsay, hoping it had impressed her.

Unfortunately for the ghost, Lindsay was not that impressed. In fact, when she let out a loud shriek of anger, the ghost figured out she was quite the opposite of impressed: disgusted.

When Lindsay finished her screaming, which caused Ezekiel, Beth, and the ghost to cover their ears, she grabbed hold of her proton pack and glared daggers at the ghost.

"YOU LITTLE MONSTER! HOW DARE YOU MESS UP MY MAKE-UP AND HAIR! IT TOOK ME HOURS TO GET IT JUST RIGHT, YOU SLIMY LITTLE…"

**Author's note – Due to this fanfiction being rated T, we here at TDI Charlie Brown incorporated are not allowed to type out the profanity and vulgar statements past T Lindsay is currently making at the ghost. You'll have to use your imaginations. We apologize for any inconvenience. **

_**Confession Cam**_

**Ezekiel – **(He has a notepad) I'm not entirely sure what all those words Lindsay said meant, eh? But I wrote them down to look them up earlier.

**Beth – **Wow…I forgot how mean and vulgar Lindsay can get when she's really mad.

_**END**_

As Lindsay continued to scream at the ghost, she fired her proton rays directly at the ghost, fire shooting from her eyes. The first blast hit the ghost right on, sending it flying behind a moth-eaten couch in the room.

"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING YOU LITTLE…"

Lindsay continued to swear as she fired at the couch, destroying it and sending the ghost flying to the other side of the room. Again, she remained persistent, blasting rays from her proton pack and striking the ghost dead on.

"YEAH! MAYBE YOU'LL THIK TWICE BEFORE SLIMING A GIRL WHO JUST FINISHED GETTING HER HAIR PERFECT, YOU…"

Lindsay swore some more as she fired her rays at the ghost. The ghost screamed and begged for mercy, but Lindsay wasn't prepared to show any just yet.

Meanwhile, Ezekiel and Beth just watched in awe what was transpiring.

"Uh…shouldn't we help her?" Beth asked Ezekiel.

"Anope," Ezekiel immediately replied. "She looks like she's doing just fine, eh?"

Just as Ezekiel said this, Lindsay fired another stream, which confined the ghosts within it. Using these streams, she bashed the ghost around the room a few times, slamming it hard against walls and the ceiling, to name a few different places.

"I'LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER RUIN A HARIDO AGAIN YOU LITTLE…"

Lindsay continued her rant as she threw a trap onto the ground where she had trapped the ghost. By now, the ghost was too hurt and damaged to put up a fight. Lindsay stepped on the release padding of the trap to open it. The light coming from the trap sucked the ghost in, it closed, and the ghost was defeated and captured.

Beth and Ezekiel were quiet for a few seconds, trying to absorb what had just happened. Then, after a few seconds, they cheered for their teammate: they had just won invincibility.

"Wicked ghost busting skills Lindsay!" Ezekiel cheered.

"I knew you were the best!" Beth smiled as she admired her best friend.

Lindsay, for some reason, wasn't sharing in their enthusiasm. Instead, she looked confused.

"Lindsay? What's wrong?" Beth asked her friend.

"Uh…what just happened?" she asked. "I blacked out for a few seconds."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Lindsay – **(Still rubbing her head) I don't know what happened back there or what I did…but whatever it was, it sure worked! (She smiles and holds up the smoking ghost trap.

_**END**_

_**(Brandon, Bridgette, and Joe)**_

Brandon, Bridgette, and Joe just walked down the abandoned hallways in silence, waiting for any sign of the ghosts. Just then, they heard Chris from outside announce:

"Attention campers! Lindsay, Beth, and Ezekiel have captured the first of the three ghosts. Two remain! Get it in gear people!"

"Oh bugger," Joe muttered. "We've gotta do something or we're gonna lose this thing."

However, Brandon and Bridgette didn't answer him. They both seemed a little preoccupied with other things.

"Oy! Mates! Did you hear me? We've gotta find a ghost NOW!" Joe called out again.

"No…I've got to find a way to get back on good terms with Amie," Brandon sighed.

"And I need to make sure Ali keeps her grubby hands off Geoff," Bridgette muttered, sounding a little unsure.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Joe – **I need to find a way to get their heads back in the game…savvy?

_**END**_

"Oye! Mates! Can I explain something to you?!" Joe called out, sounding a little irritated. "As of right now, our attention for this challenge needs to be this high!" Joe raised his hand way over his head. "Right now, it's so low that the floor isn't low enough to give a visual as to where we are, savvy?!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Bridgette – **What was I thinking? Joe's right. Besides, if Geoff and his team catch a ghost and my team catches a ghost, that means we can have our very first date tonight at that County Fair!

**Brandon – **He's right, you know? I mean, if I win and Amie's team wins, this could be my chance to make it up to her. I don't want to go through this whole competition with her hating me because we lost our tempers with each other. I need to make peace. Winning this challenge might give me the chance to do just that.

_**END**_

"Sorry Joe," Brandon sighed. "I just can't stop thinking about what I did to Amie."

"Yeah…and I can't stop worrying about Ali and Geoff," Bridgette added.

Then, because none of them had their PKE meters turned on, one of the ghosts snuck into the hallway unnoticed. This ghost, unlike the other one, was more of a prankster than a hopeless romantic. It was Bridgette and Brandon's attention diverted to Joe as Joe just shook his head and decided to take this moment to pull one of his favorite pranks.

Laughing hysterically, it flew towards the unsuspecting campers swiftly and quickly, it slimed all three campers at once. Bridgette screamed in both horror and shock while Joe and Brandon yelped in fear. Before they had any chance to react, the ghost grabbed some of the slime from its body and flung it right at Brandon, striking him right in the eyes.

"GAH! IT HURTS! IT HURTS!" he shrieked as he tried to pull the substance off his face.

"Where is that little slime ball?!" Joe growled as he reached for his proton pack. However, the ghost had already planned its next move: it had slimed the floor right under where Joe was standing. As Joe flailed around, he stepped right into the slime, slipped, and fell right on his back with a loud THUD! The ghost laughed as Joe groaned in pain.

"You little creep!" Bridgette snarled as she reached for her proton pack as well. Unfortunately for Bridgette, this ghost was swifter than a mongoose: it flew right at Bridgette and slimed her all over. By now, a disgusted and shocked Bridgette was just standing there, mortified and wide-eyed by the amount of slime covering her body.

Meanwhile, Brandon was still trying to get the slime out of his eyes. He, like Joe earlier, was flailing around. The ghost grinned: everything was set up perfectly. He flew right at Brandon and slimed him all over as well. Brandon yelled in disgust and frustration. However, being temporarily blinded by the slime in his eyes, Brandon bumped right into Bridgette from behind, causing them both to stumble. The slime on their bodies caused them to stick together. They struggled to pull apart from one another, but as they did so, they slipped on the slime Joe had slipped on. Joe regained consciousness just as Bridgette and Brandon, still stuck together, fell right on top of him.

The ghost cringed as a loud THUD boomed throughout the hallway. It laughed hysterically as it flew away, leaving the three teammates in a VERY, VERY awkward position: Brandon was still stuck on Bridgette with his groin area attached via slime to Bridgette's butt and his chest stuck to her back. Bridgette was lying on top of Joe with the front of their hips stuck together. As for Joe, the slime on his face was stuck to the slime on Bridgette's chest area. All three bodies were awkwardly stuck together because of the slime.

"Well then, are we ready to get into the game now mates?" an irritated Joe muttered underneath Bridgette to his two slime-coated teammates.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Brandon – **(Covered in slime) Okay…forget Amie and the reward…now I just want to get revenge on that ghost.

**Bridgette – **(Covered in slime, looking embarrassed) Well, that was awkward. And here I was worrying about Geoff and Ali.

**Joe – **(You guessed it…he's covered in slime) You know mates…don't tell anyone I said this…but…I actually kind of enjoyed that. (He then realizes he just said this on camera). Oh bugger. This is going to be on the season three DVD, isn't it? Ah, whatever, let them hear it.

_**END**_

_**(Courtney, Amie, and Eva)**_

The three girls were having a little more trouble with the ghost that had entered the kitchen. Unlike the love-sick ghost and the prankster ghost, this one was more serious and dangerous. It growled as it lunged plates towards the three girls. While Courtney and Amie were dodging the plates, Eva was shooting them with her proton pack.

"Start firing already!" Eva shouted as she tried to aim her streams at the ghost.

"I'm trying!" Courtney snapped back, dodging yet another plate.

Amie, however, let actions speak louder than words. She grabbed her proton pack and fired at the ghost. The ghost was able to dodge the streams easily. It was becoming more and more irritated with the three girls with each passing second. It grabbed a few butcher knives and flung them right at Amie, who shrieked as she got out of the way just in time.

But what happened next made all time seem to go in slow motion: as Amie dodged the knives, she forgot to turn her proton gun off. The result was disastrous. The stream crossed directly over Eva's stream, resulting in a small explosion that demolished half of the kitchen. Courtney and Amie were flung backwards into the wall and hit their heads while Eva dodged the fames just in time, despite having her eyebrows singed a little.

The ghost escaped the room just in time and flew off elsewhere, leaving the girls covered in soot and their clothes a little burnt. Courtney and Amie looked a little shocked at first, but Eva just looked mad.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Amie – **(I guess I should be grateful that the explosion wasn't that bad this time. I hope Eva's not too mad about me crossing the streams.

**Eva – **(Shaking furiously) THAT BIMBO ALMOST GOT EVERYONE IN THE ROOM KILLED! SHE NEEDS TO PAY MORE ATTENTION!

**Courtney – **Okay, that ghost is worse than Eva. I mean, Eva has anger issues, but at least she didn't try to kill any of us in the last two seasons.

**Eva – **(Still screaming) AS FOR COURTNEY, SHE'D BETTER DO SOMETHING OR I'LL VOTE HER OFF NEXT! I DON'T CARE IF I'M IN AN ALLIANCE WITH HER! IF SHE'S GOING TO BE USELESS, I'LL KIVK HER SORRY BUTT OUT OF HERE

**Ghost #3 (Evil Ghost) – **(Speaking in a dark, mean language) Eva is a worthy opponent. I hope she's still willing to do battle after our little encounter.

**Eva - **AND I'LL KILL THAT GHOST! I'M GOING TO BRING IT BACK TO LIFE, KILL IT, AND THEN CATCH IT! MARK MY WORDS!

_**END**_

_**(Duncan, Aaron, and Greg)**_

"Dude! Stop wasting your energy!" Duncan snapped. "We need it to catch a ghost!"

"Believe me, this is more important!" Greg hissed as he continued to fire.

Izzy continued to fly through the air, dodging all the proton rays Greg fired. Finally, after a couple minutes of this, Greg's proton pack overloaded and shut down automatically.

"Wow!" Izzy huffed. "That was fun! E-scope knew you still liked her! Why else would you play that fun game with her?"

"To get rid of you, you animal!" Greg scoffed.

"Oh yeah! Izzy feels like an animal right now," she replied in a teasing manner. "Care to do it like they do on the discovery channel?"

"LEAVE!" Greg demanded.

"Fine…you're loss," Izzy commented. Then, without another word, she turned her head and left the room.

"What is with that psycho?!" Greg hissed. But before anyone had a chance to answer, the prankster ghost flew out from the wall behind the three men and smiled Greg. Greg shouted in fury as the prankster ghost flew away laughing.

"WHY THAT NO GOOD…aw crap, the room's spinning again…" Greg muttered.

"After it!" Duncan shouted, running off after the ghost. Aaron followed with Greg trying to balance himself as the walked, trying the get the slime our of his ears.

Duncan turned in time to see the ghost fly around a corner. When Duncan reached the corner, he saw that the hallway was a dead end with three doors. There was some slime on the wall, meaning the ghost had flown through it. So obviously, the ghost was behind one of those doors.

"Gee, it sure would be nice to have a PKE meter, don't you think?" Duncan muttered as he glared at Aaron.

"Again, my friend, we won't need that thing. As I've already said, we must simply rely on the force."

"I don't care what we rely on," Greg said as he wobbled around the corner. Just find the damn thing so I can kick it's ass."

"Step aside, non-believers," a bold Aaron bellowed out. "I will show you the power of the force. After you witness this, you will learn that you must always listen and obey the force."

Duncan and Greg just rolled their eyes as Aaron stepped forward. He closed his eyes and began to concentrate. After a few minutes of silence and of Greg and Duncan looking back and forth between themselves and Aaron, Aaron finally opened his eyes with a smile and pointed to the door in the middle.

"Behind that one, fellows!" he confidently stated. "Our ghost is behind that door!"

Before they had a chance to argue with him, Aaron opened the middle door. But what was behind the door was no ghost. It was something far, far worse.

"Oh crap!" Duncan shivered, wide-eyed and quivering with fear.

"What the hell?!" Greg exclaimed.

Aaron had no words as he looked up in horror at what was in front of him: the big, black, ten foot wolverine.

The wolverine let out a monster roar, and began chasing the three boys throughout the mansion.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Wolverine – **(In it's own language) Dat's right foo's! I'm back! Why am I in the mansion looking for food? Cause I ain't afraid of no ghost's foo!

**Greg – **Yeah, I listened to Aaron talking about how wonderful the force is and how you can't defy it. To put it in his words, "we will learn that we must always listen to and obey the force". (He becomes angry) DID THE FORCE TELL YOU TO OPEN A DOOR THAT RELEASED A KILLER WOLVERINE, JACK-ASS? I'M PISSED! AND I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE SO! (He begins to look faint) Aw crap, still got some slime in my ears.

_**END**_

**END PART 2 OF DAY 2**

**So Lindsay, Ezekiel, and Beth are the first team to receive invincibility by catching the love-sick ghost. Who will the other two teams be? Who will be voted off next? Can Greg, Aaron, and Duncan outrun a monster wolverine? Can Bridgette trust Geoff not to fall for Ali's tactics? Will she, Brandon, and Joe be able to unstuck themselves? Who will win the bet in regards to Cody and Noah? Will Eva calm down? Was this chapter slimy enough for you? Read the next chapter to find out! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine – I Ain't Afraid Of No Psycho Ghosts!**

_**(Outside the mansion – Chris, Chef, Lindsay, Beth, and Ezekiel)**_

Ezekiel shivered as he heard the terrified cries of three contestants inside followed by a monstrous roar.

"Oh," Beth gasped. "That sounded like that wolverine!"

"The mutant Wolverine?" Lindsay asked, seeming confused.

"No, Lindsay," Chris sighed. "The one that we recently signed to the show to chase, torture, and attempt to eat you campers."

"Where is the world could you find a wolverine that would want to do that to a human being?!" Ezekiel almost demanded of the sadistic, ratings-craving host.

"We signed in from another show that was recently cancelled from our network: Fast Carnivores – Slow Children." Chef explained.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Ezekiel – **(Looking astonished) Who's the director of this network anyways, eh? A psychotic serial killer?

**Lindsay – **(Looking confused) Since when did they name a animal after that superhero that has the sharp metal fingernails that grow from his hands?

**Chef – **Wimps! All of them! I used to do my military training by running from wolverines…uphill…in the snow…in my underwear!

_**END**_

_**(Heather, Jason, and Hannah)**_

Heather was storming ahead of Jason and Hannah, still trying to wipe the slime off her body.

"You know…quite honestly, that has to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen…and I've been an audience to some of the most famous comedians to ever exist," Jason laughed.

"Wasn't it though?" Hannah chuckled. "I mean, the way that one ghost was making out with her and everything…I thought for a second I saw its tongue go into her mouth!"

Hannah and Jason broke out laughing once again. Heather just scoffed as her teammates laughed at her expense.

Just then, the prankster ghost appeared from underneath both Hannah and Jason, sliming them both in the process. Hannah shrieked as her black formal dress dripped with the ghost's slime and Jason yelled in anger as slime dripped from his perfectly groomed hair.

The ghost just laughed as it watched Hannah and Jason suffer from their anguish that it had caused.

"Oh, you think that's funny?" Jason growled. "Let's ee how funny you think it is after I blast you back to your grave!"

He opened fire with his proton gun, firing the proton rays directly at the ghost. The ghost dodged it easily and continued to fly around, laughing as Jason's proton rays blasted everything it came into contact with.

"Don't just stand there!" Jason demanded to Hannah. "Help me!"

Hannah had finally snapped out of her trance and was now firing her proton rays at the ghost too. The prankster ghost just zoomed around the room, casually dodging the rays Jason and Hannah had fired. The room was being destroyed and blasted apart very quickly. After a few minutes of this, their proton packs finally overheated and shut off automatically. The ghost laughed one more time before deciding it had had enough fun with these two mortals and flew off.

"Phooey!" Hannah moaned as she tried to get the slime out of her red hair. Jason just grunted again as he wiped some of the slime off of his sports jacket. He then turned to Heather, who was just smiling at them evilly.

"So why didn't YOU help us?" Jason yelled.

"Because you didn't help me earlier," Heather chuckled. "Now we're even."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Heather – **(Smiling) Ah yes, I love it when karma comes back to bite people in the butt.

**Jason – **(Still soaked in slime) I overheard Heather in here a little earlier. So, she loves it when karma comes back to haunt people, huh? Well, so do I.

_**END**_

_**(Jamie, Geoff, and Ali) **_

"…and that's how I won the top beauty pageant in my hometown," Ali smiled as she finished her story to Geoff, hoping it had impressed him.

"Uh, cool," Geoff replied, trying to be courteous to his teammate.

"I mean, my friends thought that it was so obvious that I'd be the winner," Ali continued. "After all, I AM hot and all."

"Uh…if you say so, I guess," Geoff said.

Jamie, catching this, walked past Geoff and up to Ali, putting the back of her hand on her forehead.

"Um, what are you doing?" Ali asked, obviously annoyed.

"You don't feel hot," Jamie replied. "You feel just fine. Maybe it's your clothes that are making you feel hot."

Ali just looked at Jamie like she was nuts. Geoff, on the other hand, let out a small chuckle.

"Jamie, 'hot', in the terms Ali is using it, means that someone's really handsome or beautiful. It has nothing to do with temperature in this case." He explained.

"Huh? Since when did that happen?" Jamie asked.

"It's been around before you were born. Sheesh, get off the farm once in awhile," Ali scoffed.

Ali just turned her head and strutted away, hoping Geoff was watching. However, Geoff was more interested in his educating Jamie of the ways of the world today.

"So, if I think someone's good-looking, I say that they're hot?" Jamie asked.

"That's the way it is nowadays," Geoff smiled.

"Oh, so when everyone says someone's hot, they're not sick?"

"Nope!" Geoff chuckled.

"Oh…" Jamie blushed, feeling embarrassed suddenly. Then, knowing what "hot" meant, all sorts of questions began racing from her mind to her mouth.

"IS Ali hot?" she asked Geoff.

Geoff's smile immediately vanished. He wasn't sure how to answer this without saying the wrong thing. Sure, physically, he thought Ali was hot. But as far as her attitude and behavior, Geoff did not like Ali one bit.

"Uh…I don't know," he nervously replied. "I guess some people would think she's hot."

"You mean that this "hot" phrase is just a matter of opinion and not based on facts?"

"Yeah…now you're getting it!" Geoff replied.

"Am…am I hot?" Jamie asked, sounding very concerned.

"Uh…" Geoff stuttered, beginning to sweat. "Well…again, it's all based on what the other person thinks is considered hot, as you said. Me, personally, I wouldn't call you hot."

Jamie's smile vanished and disappointment spread across her face.

"HOWEVER," Geoff quickly continued., "you ARE beautiful. VERY beautiful!"

"So you think I'm hot then?" Jamie asked, sounding excited.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Geoff – **This could take some work.

_**END**_

"Well, maybe I should put it another way," Geoff explained as they walked together, one arm wrapped around her shoulders. "When someone calls another person "hot", it means that they think that they're beautiful in a special way."

"Special?"

"Yeah! You know…more than just physical beauty. It's how one person sees another on the inside as well."

"Inside of what?"

Geoff smacked his face with his hand in frustration.

"Inside their heart, dudette!" Geoff exclaimed. "You know, their personality."

"OH! You mean inner beauty!"

"Now you're getting it!" Geoff excitedly smiled. "If you think someone's really beautiful physically and really beautiful on the inside, and you really like both those beauties, then you would consider that person to be "hot"."

"So I'm guessing that because you don't like Ali's inner beauty, she's not that hot."

"Bingo!" Geoff smiled. Finally, he was breaking through to the sheltered girl.

"So, if you think I'm really beautiful physically, but you say I'm not hot…" she suddenly gasped. "Does that mean I have a bad personality too?! Oh dear! I have to do something to straighten out right away!"

"Jamie, believe me, you've got one great personality!" Geoff assured her, patting her back.

Jamie squealed in excitement. "So I AM hot!"

"Uh…well…yes, yes you are," Geoff smiled. "But the only reason I don't call you hot is because…well…I just don't see you like that, that's all."

"Then who would you consider to be hot?" Jamie asked.

"Bridgette," Geoff dreamily smiled. "She's pretty, nice, friendly, always willing to help…she's not just hot…she's a babe," he sighed.

"No she's not!" Jamie exclaimed, sounding a little irritated.

"Huh?"

"Bridgette's sixteen years old! She's a teenager, not a babe! I can't believe you think your girlfriend's an infant!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Geoff – **Like I said, this is going to take some work.

_**END**_

_**(Bridgette, Brandon, and Joe)**_

The three slime-covered teammates walked in silence through the mansion. There was an awkward silence amongst them as no one felt like saying anything as a result of the "threesome" they just had.

Bridgette tried the best she could to avoid eye contact as she just focused on finding the ghost that put them in that ridiculous situation in the first place. Brandon was just hoping that Amie wouldn't find out about this anytime soon as he hunted the halls for the ghosts. Joe, however, was the only one in the group still smiling. He liked having the blonde surfer's chest area glued to his face for the few seconds they were. But he knew Bridgette didn't, so out of respect, he didn't bring it up.

"So mates," Joe finally spoke, breaking the silence, "is that PKE meter picking up any signals of that ghost?"

"I can't make it work without it detecting the slime on our clothes," Brandon replied as the PKE meter reacted to the slime on his hands. "But when I find that ghost, I'll make it wish it had never been born!"

"You mean died, mate," Joe corrected the soccer star. "Since the ghost is a spirit that hasn't crossed over into the afterlife completely yet since it left its body, you mean to say that you wish it had never died."

"Whatever," Brandon mumbled. "Let's just find that stupid thing and be done with this freaking challenge!"

"Sounds like a plan to me, mate. What say you Bridgette?"

"Uh…sure," Bridgette replied. "But that ghost isn't just going to come to us willingly. Plus, we already know how fast it is. So how in the world can we catch that thing?"

Both Brandon and Joe stopped walking and started thinking. Bridgette had a point: this ghost wasn't dumb. They were going to have to outsmart it.

"I think I've got an idea mates," Joe finally smiled. He formed a group huddle with Bridgette and Brandon and began to explain what his constantly-working brain had come up with.

_**(Cody, Noah, and Alicia) **_

"Can we scurry this along?" Alicia huffed. "I earnestly cannot handle being inside this construction anymore."

"Just put up with it a little more," Cody whispered. "Once we catch a ghost, we're out of here!"

"But when will the spirit attain?" Alicia asked.

"Don't know honey," Noah replied. "They didn't return my phone call to set up a meeting."

"Very capricious," Alicia mumbled.

At that moment, Cody's PKE meter began to pick up signs of spiritual activity nearby. Noah and Alicia noticed the meter going off as well and prepared their proton guns. They could hear the faint laughter of one of the ghosts, and it was approaching them quickly. The trio braced themselves for anything and everything.

Then, before any of them could react, that darn prankster ghost struck once again: this time, it attacked from beneath, sliming Noah and Cody completely. It had missed Alicia, but for some reason, it didn't seem to care. It had a mischief look in its eyes as it stared at Noah and Cody.

"Oh, just what I've always wanted!" Noah growled. "To be covered in green slop!"

"Sarcasm isn't going to catch the darn thing!" Cody snapped as he pulled out his proton pack and fired at the ghost. Like before, the ghost just flew around the room casually, dodging the rays fired from Cody. Noah and Alicia followed suit and fired their rays at it as well, hoping three would be able to catch it. But still, this ghost wasn't one to be caught easily. It seemed to be looping around the room as though it were just having fun.

"Oh! Having fun, are you?!" Noah growled. "Let's see how fun you think THIS is!"

Noah began to fling his rays around frantically, hoping his wild tactics would somehow give him a shred of luck in wrapping a stream around the ghost. It seemed to catch the ghost off guard, but not enough to capture it.

"Guys! I need to cool off or my pack's going to blow!" Cody exclaimed, as he shut off his proton ray.

The ghost saw this as its perfect opportune moment to strike. It flew right at Cody and slimed him directly in the face.

"YECH!" Cody grimaced as the ghost simply laughed.

"Move Cody! I don't feel like burning your face off!" Noah shouted, shutting off his proton ray before it could hit the tech geek. Again, the ghost struck: it was Noah's turn to get slimed directly in the face.

"Oh, lovely," Noah sighed, obviously annoyed. But that was nothing compared to what the ghost did next. The ghost had snuck back up behind Noah and gave him a big, slimy push directly into Cody. There was just enough power to knock both of them off their feet and to the ground. Noah landed right on top of Cody. And somehow in the process, Noah's slime-coated lips touched Cody's slimy lips, rendering them stuck together at the mouth.

Both boys sputtered and tried to pull apart from one another, but the slime was so thick, they were having a heck of a time doing so. Meanwhile, Alicia, who had watched the whole seen unfold when her proton pack had overheated, forgot everything around her when she saw the two nerds squirming around with their lips touching. A small trickle of blood came out of her nose as she became a little aroused.

The ghost had a big laugh at the scene he had caused as he left the three there.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Cody – **(Looking ticked) That was the most disgusting…

**Noah - **…humiliating…

**Cody - …**revolting…

**Noah - **…embarrassing…

**Cody - **…slimy…

**Noah - **…least enjoyable moment…

**Cody - **…I've ever experienced!

**Alicia – **(Still looking a little shocked) That was certainly an invigorating and instigating moment. I must admit, I got a great deal of hedonism from that moment.

**Chris – **(Holding a stack of cash) Yes! I knew I bet on the right horse (he chuckles as he flicks his fingers through his wad of money)

_**END**_

_**(Greg, Aaron, Duncan, and the Wolverine) **_

"RUN FASTER, YOU BASTARDS! RUN!" Greg exclaimed as he looked behind to see the wolverine hot on their trail.

Sure enough, Duncan and Aaron heeded the advice from their teammate and picked up the pace. They weren't as brave as Greg to look back and see how close the monstrous black wolverine was to catching them. But if they had, they would be able to count the number of teeth it had, it was so close.

"Don't we have anything we can throw at that thing to stop it from chasing us?" Duncan called out.

"We've got a Star Wars faggot that released that thing from the closet in the first place!" Greg suggested.

Before Duncan or Aaron could respond to this, all three boys were horrified when they realized that they had just reached a dead end hallway with no doors anywhere to escape through. The bear seemed to grin wickedly as it licked its chomps at the sight of the three terrified boys.

"Oh great! Now what?!" Duncan gasped, sounding scared for the first time in his life.

"You're asking me?!" Greg demanded. "I ain't exactly Grizzly Adams here, moron!"

Suddenly, Duncan and Greg heard the sound of a light saber toy turning on. Aaron had pulled his little toy out and with no signs of emotion of his face, he walked towards the gigantic wolverine.

"Goodbye Aaron," Duncan sighed.

Despite the two bigger boy's lack of faith in the Star Wars nerd, Aaron approached the bear with fierce determination and no fear. The wolverine was a little taken back by this, but it stayed on its legs and continued to drool over the sight of dinner.

"Evil creature from the darkest layer of hell, thy fierceness is no match for the power of the force!" Aaron boldly stated as he held his light saber up high.

The wolverine roared loudly as it approached Aaron, but the nerd held his ground.

"Wielder of the claws of a thousand men, let it be known to you: I am a servant of the great warriors known as the Jedi; wielder of the light sabers and controller of the force! Your strength shall not aide you in this fight!"

The wolverine decided to test this little theory and took a swing at Aaron with its mighty paws, but the scrawny male proved to be much too agile for the beast. He then stood up and held his light saber tightly in his hand as the mighty animal roared once more.

Then, with fury and adrenaline, Aaron shouted to the top of his lungs: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

With those words, Aaron flung his light saber as hard as he could up to the ceiling, where a chandelier hung. The toy weapon hit its target and the antique light fell from the ceiling and struck the beast over the head. It was stunned for a couple seconds before its eyes rolled to the back of its head and it collapsed onto the ground with a thunderous THUD.

Duncan and Greg could only look at Aaron in disbelief as he made his way back over to this teammates with a smug look on his face.

"The danger has been eliminated. Shall we continue our hunt for the ghosts?" he suggested.

"Dude! Where did you learn to do that?!" Duncan asked in amazement.

"You'd be surprised what you can learn from watching Star Wars, my goof fellow," Aaron replied with a smile.

"Yeah, that's good and all, but those lines you were quoting were from "Lord of the Rings," Greg commented.

"What can I say?" Aaron chuckled. "When I get an adrenaline rush going through me, it doesn't hold back."

"I'll say," Duncan chuckled. Then, suddenly realizing something, he turned his attention over to Greg. "Hey, I thought you said you didn't watch those nerdy movies."

"I don't," Greg assured him.

"Yeah, but you knew that those were lines from one of the nerdiest movies of all times. You wouldn't have known that unless you saw the movies."

"Oh, go on the internet and complain about it, Mohawk boy!" Greg huffed as he walked past the still unconscious grizzly.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Greg – **Seriously! People who do nothing with their spare time except for pointing out little trivial mistakes in movies, television shows, etc, need to go out and get some real freaking jobs! I tried writing something once on the internet and all the geeks did was complain about how my characters wouldn't have known this or said that or couldn't have done this due to their personality, history, or cultural background. (He raises his hands in the air) YOU FAGGOTS NEED TO GET A LIFE! BECAUSE I'M PISSED!

**Duncan – **That Greg dude needs to consider anger management.

**Wolverine – **(In bear language) **How was I supposed to know that kid had the force on his side, foo? Do I look like I have a crystal ball hidden in my fur? **

_**END**_

_**(Brandon, Bridgette, and Joe) **_

Bridgette and Brandon arrived in an old, dust coated dining room. The tables and chairs looked to be a few centuries old and very weak. The windows were coated too, making the room very dark.

"I hope Joe's plan works," Bridgette whispered to Brandon. "I don't want another situation like the one earlier."

"That makes two of us," he added, wiping some of the slime off his shirt.

On that note, they heard the familiar sound of laughing coming their way.

"Well, here goes nothing," Brandon sighed and knelt onto the ground and began to focus on something on the floor. Bridgette knelt down and did the same thing.

Both teammates shivered as they saw the prankster ghost enter the room out of the corner of their eyes. It targeted the two campers and was ready to attack again when it heard Brandon say:

"Look at that! Isn't it amazing Bridgette?!"

Bridgette quickly glanced from the ghost to Brandon, who motioned with his eyes to play along.

"Uh…yeah! Boy, I've never seen anything like that before. No sir!" she stuttered, aware how bad her acting was.

"Just improvise," Brandon whispered before returning to full volume. "I mean, it's got to be at least five centuries old!"

"Uh…no way! It's older than that!" Bridgette replied, sounding more confident in her acting abilities. Brandon winked at her in approval.

As the two continued to observe the thingon the ground, the ghost became more intrigued as to what it was they were looking at. It put aside all plans of attacking and allowed curiosity to get the better of it as it slowly moved closer to see what the two were studying.

"I mean, it's in such good condition too!" Brandon continued. "It must be worth the two million dollars we're playing for alone!"

"Maybe even more," Bridgette continued. "So why are we wasting our time on this show? Let's just take this, quit, cash it in, and retire!"

As the ghost head this, dollar signs appeared in its eyes: it liked the idea of being a millionaire just as much as the contestants did. But it wanted to observe this item for itself. So as slowly and quietly as it could, it floated just above where Bridgette and Brandon were kneeling so it could get a direct view of the artifact.

The artifact was certainly unusual looking. But something about it seemed odd: it didn't look like it was centuries old. Why, it only looked a few days old. And judging by the technological standards of today, it looked like it could easily belong in this day in age's products. Then, it hit it, but it was too late.

"NOW!" Brandon and Bridgette hollered as they rolled out of the way.

Joe, who was hiding behind an old stove hit the switch and the ghost trap, which had played the role of the artifact, was activated. The light shot out of the trap and engulfed the ghost, making it unable to escape. It pulled and struggled to get away, but there was no such luck. Within a matter of minutes, the ghost was vacuumed into the trap and the trap closed.

"YES!" Bridgette and Brandon hollered as they shared a small hug to celebrate their victory. Vengeance was there.

At that moment Joe jumped out from behind the stove, onto the old table, and shouted: "Alas, creature from the afterlife! This is the day you shall always remember as the day you almost slimed and got away from Captain Joe Sparrow!"

Right after he finished his victory phrase, the table gave away and Joe collapsed to the floor. Brandon and Bridgette chuckled a little at this misfortune, but Joe joined in a few seconds later.

"Bridgette?!" a voice called out.

Bridgette looked at the entrance of the hallway and saw her boyfriend, Geoff, standing there looking a little confused. Bridgette was confused too, but then she realized that she was hugging Brandon. She and Brandon quickly let go on one another. Brandon innocently smiled, but Bridgette didn't think a thing of it and ran up to Geoff and tackled him with a big hug.

"Geoff! You should've seen us! We caught one of the ghosts!" Bridgette excitedly exclaimed. "It was so perfect the way they it was set up! I mean, it didn't have a chance!"

"That's wicked babe!" Geoff smiled as he hugged her back.

"An evil baby? Where?!" a voice suddenly exclaimed. Bridgette and Geoff had to roll out of the way to avoid being trampled by Jamie, who had her proton pack out and charged up. "I'll capture that evil baby, guys! Watch me!"

Before anyone had a chance to respond, she fired a proton beam into the air, which hit a chandelier right above Joe, breaking it off from the ceiling.

"…oh bugger…" was all Joe had time to mutter before the chandelier crashed right on top of him.

Geoff, Bridgette, Jamie, and Brandon all gasped as they ran over to where Joe had been struck.

"Dude! Say something!" Geoff shouted.

"…I've got a jar of dirt…I've got a jar of dirt…" Joe half-wittingly sang before he went unconscious.

"Is he okay?" Ali asked, finally walking on the scene.

"I think he'll be all right," Bridgette replied, putting a hand on Joe's forehead.

"Good. I don't feel like having to carry a wounded person out of this god-forsaken place."

The other four contestants just glared at Ali for her insensitivity.

"So what took YOU so long to get in here?" Brandon demanded of Ali.

"Oh, I saw something I thought would come in handy in the future," Ali innocently replied as she looked at Bridgette from the corner of her eye.

"Somehow, I doubt you're telling the truth," Brandon replied as he glared at the rich beauty.

"Oh! Accusing girls of causing more trouble again, I see," another voice called out. Everyone looked up and saw Amie, Courtney, and Eva standing there at the kitchen entrance now.

"What's all the commotion?" Eva demanded as she looked at the mess in the room.

"Jamie shot a ray and it hit a chandelier…which in turn hit Joe on the head," Brandon explained.

"Good!" Courtney chuckled. "Karma gave the pervert what he deserved, if you ask me."

"Courtney," Bridgette sighed to her friend.

"AND YOU!" Amie suddenly shouted as she marched up to Brandon, pointing a finger to his chest. "How DARE you try to pin all this on poor Jamie! If your "friend" had just been more careful, that light wouldn't have knocked him unconscious! You're got some nerve trying to pin all this on her!"

"But…but it WAS my fault," Jamie whispered, obviously intimidated by Amie's aggressiveness.

"You don't need to feel guilty over this," Amie assured the country girl. "Don't let this jerk here belittle you!"

"He didn't belittle me," Jamie replied. "It WAS my fault. I hit the light and it hit Joe…"

"…which is nothing to feel guilty over," Courtney chuckled. The other minus her teammates glared at her dark humor.

"…if anything, you should be yelling at me," Jamie continued. "Brandon didn't do anything wrong. Right Brandon?"

Brandon didn't say anything. He just stood there with his head hung low.

"That's right," Amie just scoffed. "You shouldn't have anything to say for yourself! You're pathetic, you know that? You know, I always considered men the lowest scum on the earth, but you're worse than scum! You're…"

"SHUT UP YOU SKANK!" Brandon suddenly burst out in rage. As soon as he said that, he slipped his hands over his mouth in shock.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Brandon – **(He just stress at the camera for a couple seconds before slapping his forehead) Stupid!

**Eva – **It's none of my business, really, but if you ask me, Amie WAS asking for it. Not that I'm taking either side in this argument. It's not my fight. MY fight is with Ezekiel!

**Bridgette – **(Looking devastated) Poor Brandon. I wanted to say something to stick up for him, but…well…I didn't want to get involved.

**Geoff – **Dude, that Amie has issues. SO uncool. I'm not mad at Brandon for getting mad…but…he needs to choose his insults better.

**Chris – **(Looking excited) Oh, you can't BUY this kind of drama!

_**END**_

"…Amie…I….uh…" Brandon stuttered to apologize, but the look in Amie's face just made him weak in the knees.

"…you…you…YOU…" Amie growled as her face became redder and redder with each passing second.

Then, right in the thick of things, an evil laughter filled the room as the third and final ghost emerged from the floor, right between where Brandon and Amie stood. Fire was shooting from its eyes as it glared menacingly at the nine campers in the room.

"YOU!" Eva barked as she pulled out her proton gun and shot at the ghost. The ghost quickly dodged out of the way and flung one of it's fire-coated knives at the campers. All of them dodged just in time at the knife stuck into the floor.

"Quickly! Capture it!" Jamie exclaimed as she grabbed her proton pack and fired towards the ghost. Unfortunately for her, the ghost was floating right in front of the oven. It dodged out of the way and the beams began to strike the stove. The GAS POWERED stove.

At this time, Joe was just coming out of his unconscious state. He groaned as he rubbed his head. He heard some commotion and looked up to see the proton beam striking the gas line of the stove.

"…oh bugger…" he muttered again.

Time seemed to freeze as the room exploded with full force, knocking the campers back about fifty feet from where they stood. From one entrance of the dining room, Geoff, Bridgette, and Ali were flung out into the hallway, colliding with the wall hard, knocking the breath out of them.

Courtney and Joe were flung out the other entrance way with Courtney landing hard on her back and Joe landing on top of Courtney, face down in her chest area.

"…wow…soft…" Joe muttered.

Courtney ignored the pain she was experiencing and grabbed Joe by his six hairs and threw him off her.

In the burning room, Jamie, Eva, Brandon, and Amie were trapped with the psychotic ghost.

_**AND I'LL LEAVE IT THERE! **_**Bwa ha ha ha! Nice, cliffhanger, no? Anyways, sorry it took so long to update (I've been busier than you could ever imagine) But don't worry. Fall is upon us and the DJ service starts to slow down around this time, so I'll have more time to write and update (hopefully. Remember, I have three other jobs). Anyways, review and leave your comments! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten – That Wasn't Such a Chore**

Brandon was a little taken back by what had happened. Time seemed to stand still as he glanced around the now burning room. There were no signs of anyone else as he slowly pulled himself to his knees. He brushed off the soot that had fallen from the ceiling off his green jersey and tried to find any means of escaping the burning room.

"AAH!"

A horrific, spine tingling scream filled the room. Before Brandon knew what was happening, something had pounced him and knocked him off his feet. Before he could figure out what was going on, the attacker was hitting Brandon as hard as possible in the back.

"YOU SPINELESS, LOW-LIFE, JERK!" Amie screamed as she pummeled Brandon. "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATEYOU!"

"Amie! Wait….ouch! Get off me! We've gotta get out of here!"

"SHUT UP! YOU WORTHLESS, PITIFUL EXCUSE OF A HUMAN BEING!" Amie continued to scream uncontrollably.

"Amie! Stop! Ow! You can beat me all you want later! OW! Let's just get out of here!"

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" Amie screamed, ignoring Brandon.

Brandon struggled with what little strength he had to get away from his attacker, his only desire to get out of the burning room. He thought if he could turn towards Amie, he could pull her off of him, giving them both the chance to escape. But as he turned to face Amie on top of him, something caught his eyes: as Amie punched at him, there wasn't any anger in her face at all, like he expected. Instead, her face was full of hurt, anguish, and pain. Though the fire in the room was extremely hot, Brandon could clearly see the tears flowing from her eyes.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" Amie just screamed as if she was possessed.

Though Brandon was usually against the idea of striking girls, he knew that his voice wasn't reaching her. Without warning, he sat up, grabbed Amie by her shoulders, and shook her vigorously to bring her back to this dimension.

"WE ARE GOING TO DIE!" he shouted frantically at the now visibly shaking Amie.

Amie had stopped hitting Brandon, and just sat there, sobbing.

"…I hate you so much…" she managed to whisper to Brandon.

"Yeah, I get that," Brandon grunted. "You can hate me all you want once we get out of here. But right now, we need to work together if we're going to get out of here alive. Understand?"

Amie didn't respond as she just stood to her feet. She wiped the tears from her eyes and allowed Brandon to stand up, though she didn't say a word to him.

Elsewhere in the burning room, a frightened Jamie was trying to pull Eva to her feet. The fitness buff had been knocked to the ground from the blast hard and was still a little loopy from the explosion.

"Are you all right?" she frantically asked.

"Ugh…I don't feel so hot," she muttered.

"Eva, this is not the time to think about your physical appearance," Jamie lectured. "We need to find a way to escape!"

Eva just gave Jamie a confused look as Jamie searched for a way to get out of the burning room.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Eva – **Did I miss something?

_**END**_

"Any suggestions?" Eva asked the sheltered girl.

"First thing we need to do is get low to the ground," Jamie coughed. "The smoke's starting to really get thick!"

However, the two would have no such luck as to get a chance to crawl on the ground. For right then and there, the final ghost emerged from the floor and set its sights on the two gagging girls, deciding that in their weakened sights they would be an easy target. It sets it's knives alight and began to throw them mercilessly at the two.

_**(Bridgette, Geoff, and Ali) **_

"Bridge! You all right babe?"

Bridgette moaned as she heard the familiar voice of her boyfriend. She had finally caught her breath after having it knocked out of her when she hit the wall and was able to open her eyes as she breathed.

"…chest…hurts…" she muttered

"We hit the wall pretty hard," Geoff replied, helping her to her feet. "It'll hurt for a little while. Mine hurts too."

"…ugh…" another voice moaned.

Bridgette and Geoff turned to see Ali still lying on the ground, favoring her ankle.

"Are you all right?" Geoff asked, kneeling down next to her.

"My ankle's…really sore," Ali replied. "I don't know if it's twisted or not."

"We'll look at it later," Bridgette responded, still trying to catch her breath. "We need to get out of here right now!"

Geoff nodded to Bridgette and lifted Ali in his arms. The three of them then practically raced for an exit as fast as they could, despite their minor injuries. In Geoff's arms, Ali just smiled as she nuzzled her head into Geoff's bare chest. Geoff didn't notice it as he was more concerned with getting out of the burning building.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Ali – **(Smiling sinisterly) What does it take to get a hot hunk like Geoff to notice a pretty girl like me? An injury. The instant they hear a pretty girl moan in discomfort, they come rushing to their aid like dogs called for a ham bone. (She leans back in the seat) When I want something, I get it!

_**END**_

_**(Courtney and Joe) **_

"Shut up and follow me!" Courtney shouted at the cartoonist.

"Ah, the girl offering to take control. I like the sounds of that," Joe grinned.

"Ugh! If I weren't so hot and sore right now, I'd pummel you."

"Well, I don't know about sore, but you ARE hot."

Courtney stopped walking right then and there, turned around, and got right up into Joe's face, fuming and heaving.

"Listen here, you perverted jerk! I am NOT interested in your tactics right now. If you have a brain at all in that overgrown noggin of yours, you will use it to refrain yourself from trying to irritate me again! Do I make myself clear?!"

However, Joe, being the stubborn love-sick fool he was, wasn't paying attention to a word Courtney just said.

"You know, I've always dreamt of having a girl this close to my face and her lips so close to mine," he smiled. "And here you are fulfilling my fantasy. Are you sure you're not a prostitute? Because only prostitutes would fulfill any man's sexual desires and here you are fulfilling mine right now. Therefore, by this definition, you ARE a prostitute. I'll bet that's how you got into political power back in your school: by sleeping your way to the top. But who can blame them? I'd let you sleep with me if all I had to do was let you be class president."

_**(Chris, Chef, Ezekiel, Lindsay, and Beth)**_

"Shouldn't we go inside to see if anyone's hurt?!" Beth frantically asked as she gapped at the burning structure.

"Nah! Let's wait a little bit. The tension will really bring in the ratings!" Chris smiled.

"You're twisted, eh!" Ezekiel growled. "Those are our friends in there!"

"I know! Three friends outside a burning building anxiously waiting for news about their friends that are trapped inside, lingering on the brink of death! That's guaranteed to draw people to our channel!"

"Oh my gosh!" Lindsay gasped. "People are going to be tuning in for this?! I have to make sure my hair's just right!"

"Now you're thinking!" Chris laughed.

Just then, everyone heard the sound of a window breaking from the top floor of the burning structure. All five pairs of eyes glanced up in time to see Joe flying through the air, screaming as he plummeted to the ground, where he landed with a huge THUD! Everyone looked up again and saw Courtney standing at the window, smiling from ear to ear as she glanced down at Joe.

"Well, what do you know? You WERE good for something after all," Courtney smiled. Then, with a satisfied grin, she began to climb down the side of the building, escaping the flames.

"There! See? Your friends are all right," Chris assured to Ezekiel.

"First of all, Courtney's not my friend, eh. Second of all, I wouldn't consider Joe "all right" at the moment. Third, that's only two out of eighteen people that were still inside the building! What abo'ot the other sixteen?!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Beth – **(Looking confused) I wonder what Joe said to Courtney to make her throw him out a window from the top of a three story building? It couldn't have been anything THAT bad…right?

**Courtney – **(Looking furious) I AM A SEXUAL FANTASY?! I am anything BUT that! I am a CIT! I am someone that demonstrates leadership skills and am a role model for everyone! (She sighs and then smiles) If anyone lived a fantasy today, it was me! I've been fantasizing about doing that to Joe for quite some time!

**Joe – **(He looks a little loopy) I heard Courtney in here a little while ago say she was a role model. (He smiles) She's hot enough to be a role model, all right. In fact, just drop the "role" bit and we're good to go! (A knock is heard on the door outside. Curious, Joe opens the door, only to find himself being punched in the face by Courtney once again.)

_**END**_

By this time, Chef had gone over to Joe, dressed in his nurses outfit, and carried the unconscious perverted cartoonist to the medical tent as Bridgette, Geoff, and Ali emerged from the burning building, Geoff still carrying Ali. Ezekiel sighed in relief and raced up to Geoff and Bridgette, making sure they were both all right. Not too far behind them, Duncan, Greg, and Aaron raced out of the building, coughing and wheezing from the smoke. Duncan and Aaron were fine, but Greg looked a total mess. His head had begun to develop some serious swelling and his face was horrifically disfigured with blood dripping from his arms and legs.

"Woah! You look like you got hit by a bus!" Chris cringed as he gazed upon the injured teen. "What the heck happened to you?"

"Look," Greg growled. "All I know is that we were walking along trying to find the last ghost, minding our own business! When all of a sudden, the whole freaking building starts to shake and the roof collapses right on top of me! And right before that, all three of us heard this explosion that was like a sonic boom on the floor right above us. So after I dug through the nails and jagged-edged wood that was piercing through my body and inhaled a good amount of smoke, I put two and two together and came to the conclusion that this contest is pissing me off!"

"You should have listened to me when I said the force was telling me to beware," Aaron lectured Greg.

"That still doesn't tell me what happened!" Duncan growled, glaring at the rest of the contestants.

"Jamie struck a gas line trying to catch the last ghost," Courtney explained as she approached the teens that had escaped the building.

"Remind me to thank her," Noah's voice called as he, Cody, and Alicia emerged from the burning structure. "I've always wanted to know what it was like to get lung cancer."

"Wait…where IS Jamie?!" Geoff exclaimed. "She was in the room when it exploded!"

"…oh…my…God…" Ezekiel whispered. He suddenly grabbed hold of Bridgette and almost shook the answers out of her when he demanded to know if she was still alive or not.

"I-I-I D-D-DON'T K-K-KNOW!" Bridgette answered as she tried to get the prairie boy to stop shaking her.

"Hey! Where's Eva!" Courtney asked, frantically looking around.

"And Amie! And Brandon!" Aaron gasped.

"What about Hannah?!" Cody exclaimed.

"Jason?! Has anyone seen Jason?!" Beth shrieked.

"What about Hannah?!" Lindsay asked.

"We already tallied her up in our missing list," Chris replied.

"No, no. The mean Hannah!" Lindsay explained.

"You mean Heather," Duncan corrected.

"Who's that?!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Duncan – **How can one girl be so stupid?

**Bridgette – **Well, I didn't appreciate Ezekiel shaking me like that, but I can forgive him this time. Heck, I was just as nervous for Jamie as he was. If not, more so.

_**END**_

_**(Heather, Jason, and Hannah) **_

"Heather! We have to get out of here now!" Hannah hollered to the queen bee, who was a few feet on front of her teammates.

"Not until we catch that ghost!" she barked back.

"If we don't get out of here now, we're going to become ghosts ourselves!" Jason exclaimed, coughing from the amount of smoke that was pouring throughout the house.

"But if we can get that ghost, then we'll be safe from the votes!"

"You know, Heather, in a game of chess, sometimes it's best to retreat and try again another day!"

"No way!" she exclaimed as she continued to make her way through the smoky hallways. Jason and Hannah just sighed as they tried to keep up with Heather, in both an attempt to find a way to escape and a way to get her out of the burning building as well.

_**(Jamie, Eva, Amie, and Brandon) **_

"Don't touch me!" Amie shrieked at Brandon, who was on top of her.

"You're welcome!" Brandon just snapped as he got off of her.

Moments ago, the ghost had targeted a helpless Amie, who was choking on smoke and threw a knife at her. Brandon, in the nick of time, tackled her out of the way unknowingly to Amie.

"He's not going to let us escape," Jamie coughed.

"No crap!" Eva barked, highly irritated by how much trouble this ghost was giving her.

"Where the heck is the rescue unit?!" Brandon shouted, trying to avoid both the flames and the ghost's attacks.

"I think we're that unit for the time being," Eva replied, glaring at the fiery ghost. It's eyes were now blazing flames as hot as some of the ones in the room.

"Well, we can't just stay here waiting for them!" Amie hacked. "It's getting harder to breath!"

"Well, if you've got any ideas, I've got my ears open," Brandon hollered over to her.

"I wasn't talking to you!" Amie shouted back.

"But aren't ears open all the time anyways?" Jamie asked.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Eva – **(Looking upset) …I was trapped in a burning building with two people obsessed with drama and a complete idiot. I thought for sure I was going to die. We probably would have if I hadn't said something.

_**END**_

"You're the reason we're in this predicament in the first place!" Amie hollered at Brandon.

"What the heck are you talking about?!" Brandon hacked. "I didn't blow the gas line!"

"He's right! I did," Jamie replied.

"Jamie, just stay out of this," Brandon hollered back.

"Don't you yell at her, you pig!" Amie shrieked.

"WILL ALL THREE OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!" Eva finally hollered, causing all to go silent. Even the ghost, which was confused by all that was going on, seemed a little taken back by Eva's outburst. "IF YOU'D ALL JUST STOP SHOUTING FOR A MINUTE AND GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES, WE'D BE ABLE TO COME UP WITH A WAY TO GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE WE BURN TO DEATH! I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU THREE, BUT I WANT TO LIVE TO SEE MY 80TH BIRTHDAY!"

Jamie, Amie, and Brandon just stared at Eva, absorbing all she had just said. They realized that she was right and that this was no time to argue.

"NOW HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO!" Eva spoke, going into commando mode, "AMIE AND BRANDON, YOU'RE GOING TO DISTRACT THAT GHOST WHILE JAMIE AND I TRY TO CATCH IT! UNDERSTAND? THEN, MAYBE WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE! BUT WE'VE ONLY GOT FIVE MINUTES OR ELSE WE'RE GOING TO BE TRAPPED IN HERE! NOW MOVE!"

"With him?!" Amie snapped.

"**I SAID MOVE!" **Eva hollered, louder than before.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Amie – **(Shivering) The rumors were true…Eva is scary when she's mad.

_**Evil Ghost – **_Dang…that mere mortal scared ME! …but their plan will fail!

_**END**_

Brandon didn't wait another second before he ran after the ghost, trying to lure it from Eva and Jamie while they got their equipment together. He knew he and Amie had to chance of catching the ghost because their equipment had been lost in the fire. Amie, despite her feelings towards Brandon, aided him in his efforts.

Meanwhile, Jamie and Eva were trying to get their equipment ready. Jamie cringed every time she saw the ghost hurl a hatchet towards Brandon and Amie, but she didn't let that stop her from getting her trap ready. With her trap and Eva's proton pack being the only tools left for catching the ghost, they knew that there was no room for error whatsoever.

_**Heather, Jason, and Hannah**_

"Heather! Just forget about it!" Hannah hollered, while trying to breath. "If we stay in here another minute, we're going to suffocate!"

"Then we'll suffocate!" Heather barked. "We're not leaving until we catch that ghost!"

"We?" Jason asked, emphasizing his word. "You can drop the "we" stuff out. I'm out of here!"

"Oh no you're not!" Heather snapped, grabbing him by his jacket. "You're going to help me because I'm not about to risk being voted off this island because you were scared of getting a little burned!"

"A little burned? We're in a burning building, for God sakes!" Jason exclaimed.

"Right! The faster we catch it, the sooner we get out of here! Now let's go!"

Before Jason could retort, Heather ran ahead of them again.

"Let's just let her go," Jason sighed and went to leave the building. But Hannah's hand reached out and grabbed hold of Jason's coat.

"We can't leave her in here alone," she sternly said.

"Why not?"

"Because…it's not the right thing to do," Hannah replied, trying her best to sound like she meant it.

Jason went to argue, but looking at Hannah's face, he couldn't bring himself to do it for some reason.

"…fine…we'll follow her for five more minutes. But we're going to convince her to get out of this house before we all die! Understand?"

"Definitely!" Hannah replied. Then, without another word, the two raced down the hall together, trying to find Heather.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Heather – **Okay…maybe I overreacted a little bit back there…but if I know anything about this contest that's for sure, it's this: either I'm going to win it or I'm going to be sent packing early! And if I have anything to say about it, it WON'T be the later of the two!

_**END**_

_**(Jamie, Eva, Brandon, and Amie) **_

The ghost had Brandon and Amie cornered in a corner of the room where the flames hadn't quite spread yet. But they really didn't have a lot more room to dodge or they would be dodging right into the flames. They were helplessly trapped, blinded and choking from the thick smoke.

"Great! Now what are we going to do?" Amie barked at Brandon.

"You tell me!" Brandon snapped. "I thought you girls were the dominant gender!"

"Oh, stop being sarcastic and help think of a way out of this!"

"Eva! We're ready for you now!" Brandon frantically shrieked as the ghost raised a flaming machete in its hands.

"Well, I'm not!" Eva hollered back. "I can't even see you guys through all this smoke. I thought I told you guys not to go too far from us!"

"Uh...Eva…you never said that," Jamie whimpered as she frantically tried to get her trap to work.

Eva opened her mouth to reply, but closed it instantly when she realized Jamie was right. She had become so intensified by the whole ordeal that she forgot to give Brandon and Amie all the details of her plan.

"…oh…crap…" Eva whispered. She then shouted as loud as she could for Brandon and Amie to get over to where she could see them both as fast as she could.

"WE CAN'T!" Brandon called over. "THERE'S FIRE EVERYWHERE!"

"IT'S TOO HOT!" Amie added, her voice choking out. "…Can't…breath…"

Just then, Eva and Jamie heard a sick slicing sound fill the air followed by the sound of something dripping onto the ground. Both Jamie and Eva froze as they heard the sound of the ghost laughing hysterically in the air.

Eva frantically called out to Brandon and Amie again to try and fight the flames. But after their first exchange, Brandon and Amie were heard from no more. Eva's eyes grew wider each time she called for the two and no answer came back.

"…no…NOO!" Eva desperately cried out.

"What? WHAT?!" Jamie frantically shrieked.

"…we're screwed! I just screwed us all…" Eva whispered as she fell to her knees. Frustrated, she began to pound the weakened floor with her fists. "I BLEW IT! I JUST KILLED US! NOT ONLY AM I GOING TO DIE, BUT I'VE KILLED THREE OTHER PEOPLE TOO! WHY COULDN'T I JUST STAY FOCUSED?! NO! NO! NO!"

Eva continued to cry out as she pounded the floor, convinced that Brandon and Amie had been killed by the ghost.

The hysterical laughing continued to fill the air as Eva just continued to pound on the ground in fury. It was coming for the two of them. Eva didn't want to look as the ghost came closer. If this was how she was going to die, she didn't want to be able to see as it happened.

"Eek!" Jamie screamed suddenly. The ghost was now in front of the two of them…or so they thought.

"Eva! On your feet solder!" a familiar voice called out. "I didn't make you a member of team E-scope for nothing!"

Eva opened her eyes and wasn't prepared for the shock she got when she saw Izzy standing in front of her, covered in slime and carrying an unconscious Brandon and Amie under her arms.

"IZZY?! What the…"

"I crawled into the room a few minutes ago! I rescued these two love birds just as that ghost was about to slice them. It missed and got the wall behind them. It was about to pull back and slice at me, but just in the nick of time, I jumped right through that ghost and crawled like a nimble cat at night underneath the flames!"

"…so…that wasn't blood that was spilt?!" Eva asked, beginning to smile.

"Heck no! That was my slime covered body! It feels good actually. I'm thinking of keeping more around so I can make myself look sexy for Greg! But enough of that! I need you to start representing team E-scope now commander Eva! On your feet!"

"Yes sergeant E-scope!" Eva replied, getting to her feet and saluting her leader.

"And you!" Izzy pointed at Jamie, "as of this moment, you are an honorary member of team E-scope! You will do as I say if you want to live! Understood?!"

"Uh…who are you again?" Jamie asked.

"I am the one and only Sergeant E-scope AKA Kaleidoscope AKA Explosivo AKA Esquire AKA Izzy! And from this moment on, I am your mother! Understood solder?!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Jamie – **(Looking a little shocked) Uh…I didn't really know who Sergeant E-scope AKA kaleidoscope aka Explosivo aka Esquire aka Izzy was…but when she called me a solder, it made me feel like I was my brother for a split second! That's when I remembered: my brother wouldn't have quit, so neither will I! (She looks up to the sky) Big brother, this one is for you!

_**END  
**_

"Okay maggots!" Izzy began to command. "We've got t-minus two minutes to get out of this room. That ghost isn't going to go down without a fight and that's exactly what we're going to give him! He's probably recovered by now and wants my blood. I'm trusting you two to not let him have it! Understood!"

"Yes sir!" both Eva and Jamie shouted.

"When you see him, show no mercy! For you shall receive none!"

"Yes sir!"

"No man will be left behind!"

"Yes sir!"

"That's what I like to hear! Now, let's go!"

Izzy let out a battle cry and charged through the flames with Amie and Brandon once more. Eva took this opportunity to make sure her proton pack was ready this time. She switched it on and sure enough, it lighted up and was ready for use. She glared her eyes and just waited for Izzy to reemerge with the ghost on her trail. Jamie had her trap ready to go and was anxiously awaiting too.

A few seconds later, they heard another battle cry and Izzy leapt through the flames once again. Sure enough, the evil ghost was right on her trail, with a huge bazooka drawn and aimed at her.

"NOW SOLDERS!" Izzy screamed.

Eva took aim with her proton pack and released a stream. Sure enough, Izzy's plan worked and Eva had caught the ghost. Though it couldn't get away, it didn't plan on going down without a fight. It frantically flung flaming weapons around trying to hit Eva, but missed each time.

"NOW LIEUTENANT JAMIE!" Izzy screamed.

"Lieutenant? Already? Don't I have to work my way up the ranks before I…"

"NOW!" Izzy and Eva hollered at the same time.

Jamie shook herself out of her thoughts and threw the trap. Unfortunately, she threw it a little too far and it almost went into the flames. But Eva, being the skilled athlete she was, dove just in time to save it and managed to keep hold of the ghost with her proton pack. Single handedly, she placed the trap under the ghost and activated it. Within seconds, a light emerged from the trap and pulled the ghost inside. Eva quickly closed the trap and the ghost was seen no more.

"YES! VICTORY IS OURS!" Izzy screamed.

"Yeah great! Now let's get out of here!" Eva barked.

"How? There's fire everywhere!" Jamie whimpered as she avoided oncoming flames.

"Never fear solders! Your fearless leader will get you out!"

Before both could ask how, Izzy scooped both Jamie and Eva up in her arms along with the still unconscious Brandon and Amie and without warning, jumped out the nearest window into the broad daylight in front of the other campers. She and the four victims inside were safe.

"I AM KALEIDOSCOPE! HEAR ME ROAR!" she hollered.

"Izzy!" everyone outside hollered.

"Nope! E-scope! And I come bearing campers!"

"Jamie! Thank God!" Geoff exclaimed as she raced forward to check on his new friend.

"Eva and Amie too! Thank goodness!" Courtney sighed.

"Thank the force Brandon's all right!" Aaron smiled.

"Thank you Izzy!" Ezekiel suddenly shouted, running up to the wild girl and hugging her. "I so owe you one, eh! Thank you for saving them!"

"Yeah….I've gotta admit; even though you're a psycho bitch, that was pretty cool of you Izzy," Greg added with a slight smile.

"HA! I knew you still liked me! Come here, you hunka man!" Izzy squealed as she pounced Greg and started a one-sided, slimy make-out session with Greg, who was trying to escape the death grip she had on him.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Eva – **(looking a little disappointed) I guess I'm lucky to have Izzy as a friend. But it was also embarrassing to have her save me like that. (She pauses for a minute) Well, no more! From now on, you're going to see an Eva that will NOT accept defeat like that anymore!

**Jamie – **(Her hair is standing on edge) …wow…that was exhilarating…

**Ezekiel – **Seriously…after saving those guys, Izzy's like my hero now, eh! I doon't think I'll ever be able to repay her for what she did today. (He pauses for a second) Maybe I'll put in a good word with the RCMP to lay off her.

**Greg – **(He's covered in slime, still banged up from earlier, and now has lip stick all over his body) Hey I'm Greg, and yet again, I'm pissed!

_**END**_

Finally, all the campers, including Heather, Hannah, and Jason, who were covered from head to toe in soot, were outside and lined up in front of Chris. Hannah and Jason couldn't stop glaring at Heather, who just ignored the two.

"Dudes, what can I say? That was totally insanely wicked!" Chris cried out. "Our ratings just came in and our show is shooting through the roofs! And I have all you to thank for it!"

"No problem," Beth smiled. "Does this mean you're going to let us all have immunity tonight to show your appreciation?"

"Hah! You wish!" Chris laughed. "But, in the end, three teams DID win invincibility and the trip to the county fair in town just off the island! The first team was Lindsay, Beth, and Ezekiel!"

Ezekiel just smiled as Lindsay and Beth squealed in excitement.

"Bridgette, Brandon, and Joe are also going to enjoy the reward tonight!"

The three teammates, including the banged up Joe, gave each other high fives.

"…and finally…the third team that captured a ghost and is going to enjoy a kick butt night at the fair…despite some outside interference from one Izzy…is…"

Izzy just stuck her tongue out at Chris as she waved to Eva. Eva just smiled and gave her friend thumbs up as if to thank her. Jamie smiled at Eva and patted her shoulder.

"…the team of Jamie, Geoff, and Ali!" Chris announced.

Several gasps came from the campers, especially from Eva.

"WHAT?! What are you talking about?! I was the one that caught the ghost! I snagged it with my proton pack! I trapped it! ALL BY MYSELF!" Eva roared.

"Yeah, that's true," Chris smiled. "But, unfortunately for you, you used JAMIE'S trap. Therefore, because the ghost is inside their trap, the victory has to go to their team!"

"What?! That's not fair!" Jamie exclaimed.

"Hey, life isn't fair honey. Get used to it," Ali smirked. "Thanks Eva. I owe you one. You don't mind if I just forget about this, do you?"

"WHY, YOU EVIL, ROTTEN, WORTHLESS, GOOD FOR NOTHING…"

Jason and Greg had to race forward to stop Eva from assaulting the cruel host.

"Sorry Eva. Dem's the rules!" Chris laughed once more.

Eva, realizing she wasn't going to win, let out a cry of frustration as she stomped her feet.

"Now, for the rest of you, I'm afraid before the marshmallow ceremony tonight, you have to endure a little punishment," Chris announced as he pulled out a switch from his pocket.

He smirked as he activated the switches. Before anyone had a chance to react, the losers all found themselves being doused in ghost slime from above. The slime seemed to pour down for hours when it only poured down for about forty-five seconds, which was forty-five seconds longer than anyone would care to have ghost slime being splashed on them.

"Now, you twelve losers have to pick your favorite loser and I'll see your butts at the campfire ceremony."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Jamie – **(Looking guilty) I felt so bad for Eva. She totally deserved to win that prize for her team. I didn't even do anything. Eva, if you survive elimination tonight, I'll save you something from the fair!

**Duncan – **(still doused in slime) This sucks! I tried washing this stuff out three times, but it's like super glue! It's almost impossible to get off. Anyways, I'm going to have to vote for Eva. She's a serious threat in this contest and I don't want to have to go one on one with her in the finals.

**Ali – **(Smiling) Like I said Eva, thanks for practically giving us this prize! I am so in a good position in this game right now! Not only do I have Geoff for myself tonight, but it gives me more time to perfect my plan to win this game! Again, I am in SUCH a good position.

**Courtney – **(Covered in slime) If I had MY way, I would be voting for that pervert tonight. But unfortunately, he has invincibility tonight. So I'm going to have to vote for the biggest threat in the game at this point: Eva. Not only is she a serious competitor, but I'm not sure she's fully into our alliance. She can't be trusted.

**Joe – **(Smiling) Did you see those girls covered in slime? Dang, that was hot! Heather was just yummy looking; Alicia looked fine with her hair all wet like that; and…(he pauses, opens the door to the outhouse stall, looks around quickly, then closes the door)…and Courtney…WOW!

**Jason – **(Wiping some slime off his coat) I've already said this: in a game of chess, the opposing queen is your worst enemy and must be taken out first. That's why I'm voting for Heather.

**Hannah – **(Fuming as she wipes the slime off her face with a handkerchief) Heather endangered us back there! She could do it again! She has to go!

**Noah – **(Yup…he's slime coated) Well, this was certainly a high point in my life: getting slimed for losing a challenge, being accused of my sexuality, and being up for elimination tonight. Yup, Disney World has nothing on this.

**Lindsay – **Oh my gosh! I love county fairs! …even though I've never been to one.

**Cody – **(Disgusted by the slime covering his body) Well, this is certainly unpleasant. Now, who to vote for? A lot of people are saying Heather or Eva. Eva's really tough and that may hurt my chances down the road. She could go a long way in this contest. But so can Heather…I don't know.

**Greg – **(Twitching because of the slime in his ear again, he starts shouting furiously) Today, I was mauled by Izzy! Slimed thousands of times by these psychotic ghosts! Slimed on again by that asshole Chris! **To ensure that this crap never happens to me again, I'm gonna personally go out there and hire a lawyer! One that will sue anyone or anything that tries to pull this crap on me again! When they hear that I have that lawyer, they'll know, you don't screw with me! That, my friends, is how I am going to prevent these things from happening again! **(He pauses for a minute) And also…by voting off Aaron. Did I mention that? **We need to vote off Aaron! Cause I'm pissed! **

_**END**_

The twelve campers that had lost the challenge were gathered around the campfire, where Chris stood in front of them all with a plate of eleven marshmallows.

"Your votes have been cast and the decision has been made. One of you has just lost this challenge. That individual will walk the dock of shame, catch the boat of loser, and leave Total Drama Madness…**forever!" **

"Yeah, we know pretty boy! Just get on with it, will ya?" Greg demanded. "I've still gotta get this slime out of my ear!"

The campers looked at him and saw him start to twitch involuntarily once again.

"Whatever dude," Chris shrugged. "Here's yours. Now go get that slime out of your ear before you cause tremors on the island."

Greg caught his treat, ate it in one bite, and headed for the creek to bathe, twitching the whole way.

"Next to receive marshmallows are…Amie! Jason! Courtney! Noah! Cody!"

The five campers went up to claim their treats, smiling the whole way up.

"Duncan! My man! Come on up!"

Duncan sniffed and headed up to Chris.

"Hannah!"

Hannah smiled and went up to join the others that were safe.

"Nerd!"

Alicia just growled at this, but went up to claim her treat nonetheless.

"And then there were three," Chris announced as he looked at the three remaining campers on the stumps: Aaron, Eva, and Heather.

Aaron gripped onto his light saber tightly as he nervously waited for Chris to announce the next name. Eva just hung her head low and muttered how unfair this was. Heather began to sweat a little, knowing she was in a predicament.

"…

…

…

…

…Aaron!"

"Yes! The force shines on!" he exclaimed as he ran up to gather his prized marshmallow.

"This is a big one," Chris smiled. "We have two very strong competitors from the first two seasons sitting here before us. And this early in the game, one of them is about to go home. Who's it going to be?"

Eva and Heather looked from the marshmallow in Chris hand to each other continuously as Chris built up the tension by waiting to announce who was going to the next round in this contest.

"…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…Eva!"

"YES!" Eva shouted in happiness as she ran up as happy as could be to Chris and received her prized marshmallow.

"WHAT! You voted ME off?! ME?!!" Heather exclaimed.

"You're surprised?" Noah stated. "You're a total bitch that no one likes!"

"You're mean!" Cody added.

"You tried to kill us!" Hannah retorted.

"You're the biggest threat!" Jason blurted out.

"Yeah…no shocker there," Chris sighed. "So much for shocking turns of events. Anyways, Heather, the dock of shame awaits!"

"Tch…fine! I'm glad to be leaving anyways! I don't want to endure anymore time here than I have to! Have fun suffering at the hands of this lunatic!"

Heather just turned her head and marched away furiously to the dock of shame, not looking back.

"Toodles!" Alicia called out, satisfied with the results of the night.

"Heather's gone!" Hannah suddenly announced. "Even though we all lost today, I think that's still a pretty good reward! Let's go celebrate!"

Heather ignored the cheers as she boarded the boat of losers, which was being driven by Owen tonight.

"Sorry you lost Heather," Owen sympathetically smiled.

"Just go!" she barked.

"Okay, if you want. Oh, and by the way, I hope you can hold your breath for long periods of time."

"Why would I…OH! NO! DON'T YOU DARE!"

But it was too late. Just as the boat of losers pulled away, Owen let out a fart that would have knocked a buzzard off a cactus, causing Heather to gag uncontrollably.

_(Public Service Announcement) _

**Ladies and Gentlemen, the next episode of Total Drama Madness will be a special AFTERMATH episode. But it's going to work a little differently from the one from TDA. Because you, the readers, will get to ask all the campers in attendance the questions! Joining us will be our VIP section, which will consist of Owen, Harold, Leshawna, Gwen, Trent, Justin, Tyler, DJ, and Izzy; our co-hosts Katie and Sadie; the first two eliminated campers Rikki and Heather; and yours truly, TDI Charlie Brown! You can ask us anything you want and if we like your questions, they will be answered on the first ever Total Drama Madness Aftermath episode! Just PM me your questions. DO NOT LEAVE THEM IN THE REVIEWS! I WILL NOT ANSWER THEM! Until then, see ya! **

**Voting **

**Heather – Eva**

**Cody – Heather**

**Noah – Heather **

**Amie – Eva **

**Courtney – Eva**

**Hannah – Heather **

**Jason – Heather**

**Eva – Heather**

**Alicia – Eva**

**Duncan – Eva **

**Aaron – Heather**

**Greg – Aaron**

**Heather – 6**

**Eva – 5**

**Aaron – 1**

**Voted Off Order – Rikki; Heather**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N – So here I am with the next chapter of TOTAL DRAMA MADNESS. I know I said I was going to do an Aftermath special, but I tried writing it and it just wasn't working out at all. Plus, I was afraid that it might violate the terms of use on this site (They can be picky about that, you know. Plus, that's what took me so long to update). So to be fair to those who submitted questions, I'll answer them myself right now. **

**1.) Can I submit a character? (anonymous) **

**No. This is not a submit your own character fan fiction. Please do not submit a character to be a camper, co-host, intern, cameraman, etc. I will not respond to you. **

**2.) In response to your message at the end of the last chapter, I now propose my questions: What will happen between Ezekiel and Jamie? Are they going to "hook up" eventually? And what is the deal with Amie? Why doesn't Ali stop hitting on Geoff? Will he fall for her charms? (Skull and Bone) **

**Wow. You've got a lot of questions going through your mind. Unfortunately, if I answered them right now, that would ruin the story. However, all I will say is that there IS a reason Amie reacts the way she does whenever Brandon calls her something. It is sad and it will explain a lot. Other than that, keep reading on and you'll see! **

**3.) To Rikki- Do you really hate Cody, and /shudders/ what ... Would you REALLY do to Noah?  
To Heather- Why try to start an alliance with people that wouldn't really help you at all? (Krazzeekman) **

_**Confession Cam**_

**Rikki – **Well, Krazzeekman, sweetie, I don't HATE Cody to say. Just as long as he stops hitting on Noah, he and I will get along just fine. However, I'm not happy that the little tramp kissed my man…AGAIN! He blew his chance! It's my turn to try. As for what I would DO to Noah…well…if I answered THAT, the author of this story would probably get reported for writing mature content in a T rated story, if you know what I mean (he winks to the camera).

**Heather – **(Looking annoyed) Look, I thought I could sway them, okay? Let's be honest here: with my history in this game, one of two things was going to happen. One, I was going to win. Two, I was going to be one of the first to go. Unfortunately, I played my cards wrong…and here I am.

_**END**_

**4.) When is the next chapter of "You're On Total Drama Island, Charlie Brown" coming out? (airnaruto) **

**Ugh…why does everyone always ask me that? It'll come out when it's ready. I take my time doing this because I want it to be good and worth your time reading. I know it's slow, but I do it for you. **

**5.) **  
**1) To everyone: If given a chance to fight, what kind of weapons would you use (if any) to be honest?**

**2) To everyone: How would you feel if you wore some kind of Powered Armor?**

**3) *Filters though one of his group's death threats towards Rikki* So Owen, how does it feel to endure two season's worth of torment by the hands of the Chris and Chef duo? (Kite Lanford) **

_**Confession Cam**_

**Justin – **(Smiling) Why, if I were to choose a weapon in battle, I'd use the one thing I know gets to my enemies all the time…my gorgeous smile! (Flashes his best smile to the camera)

**Gwen – **(Looking bored) Seriously, how do these people come up with these kinds of questions?

**Katie and Sadie – **

**Katie – **I don't know how I'd feel if I were powered armor to be honest.

**Sadie – **Well, I'd know that it'd be totally worth it if you were going to wear me into battle!

**Katie – **Aw, I'd become powered armor if you were going to wear me into battle too!

(The two girls share a hug)

**Owen – **Well, after overlooking the dangerous situations I've been put in, the backstabbing, the rough challenges, the drama, the wild animals, the injuries, the barfing, the starvation, the fights, the disgusting foods, and the blood sweat, and tears that have been spilt playing this game…IT FEELS AWESOME! WHOO HOO!

_**END**_

**So there you go guys! Sorry there won't be any aftermath specials like promised, but if you still liked this, I can consider THIS the aftermath specials right before a new day begins. Tell me what you all think! Thanks for the questions. Now, on with the story! **

_**Chapter Eleven – Tale As Old As Time**_

"Hold that camera steady DJ!" Chef growled to a camera as he stood on the dock of shame, adjusting his hat.

"Come on Chef," the teddy bear winced. "We're the cooks. We should get in the kitchen and get their breakfast ready."

"Not today, we're not!" Chef growled. "I'm in charge today! That means whatever I say goes! My challenge, my rules! Got it!?"

"Yes sir," DJ sighed, feeling sorry for the remaining twenty campers. He pressed a button and started recording. Chef cleared his throat and began to speak.

"_Last time on Total Drama Madness, the campers were split into seven teams of three. Their challenge, which was based off of the blockbuster hit movie "Ghostbusters", was to capture one of three ghosts: a love-sick ghost, a prankster ghost, and a lunatic ghost. Blondie, Wanna-be and Homeschool were the first successful ones in capturing a ghost. Know-it-all boy and tech-boy shared a kiss, earning pretty boy Chris some of my money. Surfer-girl, Soccer-boy, and pervy-cartoon boy caught the second ghost, after being caught themselves in an awkward threesome position. Soccer-boy and Feminist girl argued some more, and country girl blew up the mansion when she struck a gas line with her proton rays. Crazy intern girl Izzy, rage girl, and country girl worked together to capture the last ghost. Though rage girl actually caught the ghost, the win went to country girl and her team: party boy and spoiled girl. They, along with the other two teams, won a night at a local county fair while the others went to the campfire ceremony. In the end, it was queen bee's turn to go after she failed to get into an alliance with perfect boy and piano girl. _

_Today, maggots, Chris is off recording something for a movie. So that means I'm in charge today! That means my rules! My challenge! My show! See what I have cooked up for the remaining twenty campers today on TOTAL…DRAMA…MADNESS!" _

_**(Cue Intro and We're good To Go!) **_

The campers were just waking up and heading for the cafeteria for their morning breakfast. Those that didn't go tot eh fair last night looked a little more tired and grumpy than the nine that did. It didn't help that they kept talking about it either.

"Oh my gosh! I haven't had fired dough like that in a long time," Lindsay smiled as she walked with Beth.

"Yeah! And those caramel apples were to DIE for! If only Brady were here to share it with me."

Nearby, Courtney and Eva just rolled their eyes.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Eva – **That should've been ME eating fried dough and caramel apples last night! I caught the last ghost yesterday! I was the hero of the challenge! Mark my words…I…WILL…WIN…TODAY!

**Courtney – **I still can't believe Beth is playing on the whole "Brady" thing. Look, we all know you don't have a boyfriend Beth. Quite frankly, I'm getting sick of the whole thing. After we take out Ezekiel, Brandon, and that pervert, she's going to be added to my chopping block!

_**END**_

Amie was stomping towards the cafeteria. Obviously, she was especially crabby this morning as a result of losing yesterday on account Eva used the wrong trap and that she had been insulted by Brandon again.

"Uh…Amie…" a voice meekly called.

Amie grunted as she heard Brandon approaching her.

"Don't talk to me," she coldly replied.

"Relax," Brandon smiled. "All I want to do is give you this." Brandon held out a small teddy bear in his hands and presented it to Amie with a small smile. "I thought you'd want it. I mean, you know, I don't have a need for it."

Amie didn't even look up at Brandon as she marched a little faster to get away from him. Brandon's smile faded quickly as he watched her storm away. He hung his head in disappointment as Duncan patted his shoulder in comfort.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Brandon – **Man, all I want to do is apologize to Amie and start over. I know she seems a little off balance and uptight, but there's just something about her…I don't know what it is.

**Amie – **(Sneering) What? You can't expect me to just forgive him like that after what he called me. Oh sure, you're probably thinking, 'man, she's so over-reacting'. Well, if only you knew…(she sighs) You guys have no idea what I've been through.

_**END**_

Near the back, Geoff and Bridgette were making out again. They had had a wonderful night at the fair riding on slow rides together and walking around. It was the perfect break they needed for a real date and they took this opportunity and capitalized on it fully…much to Ali's dismay.

"Aw, look at it this way, sweetheart," Joe smiled as he watched Geoff and Bridgette make out. "You can pick up a few pointers from them when it's your turn to make out with someone." Ali sighed as Joe pulled out his drawing pad and began to draw the couple making out.

Nearby, Geoff and Bridgette both noticed someone walking by them with a confused and excited look on his face.

"Yo! Homeschool! What's happening?" Geoff asked, not taking his hands off Bridgette.

"Huh? Oh, not much," Ezekiel replied. "Just doin' some reflecting, eh?"

"About what?" Bridgette asked.

"Last night."

"What happened?"

"Well, ya see…"

_Flashback_

_Jamie found herself staring at all the horses in the horse barn at the county fair. She marveled at the magnificent creatures as her eyes twinkled each time she heard one softly neigh. When no one was watching, she held her hand up to one and gently stroked the creature's nose. _

"_Fascinating animals, eh?" a familiar voice asked. Jamie smiled as Ezekiel approached her. _

"_They're simply amazing," she sighed, admiring the horse in front of her. "I have three of them back home and not a day goes by I don't spend time with them." _

"_Yeah, I know exactly what you mean." Ezekiel replied. He, too, reached up and scratched the animal's forehead. "We have five of them back home where I come from." _

"_You live on a farm too?" Jamie asked, intrigued by this. _

"_Sure do," he proudly admitted. "I may not know all the ways of the outside world or all the more modern phrases and sayings, but no one knows how to milk a cow or harvest crops better than me on this show, eh?" _

"_Hey…I know how to do all those things too," Jamie replied. _

_Ezekiel suddenly gasped and started to stammer. "Er…I didn't mean you COULDN'T do it or that anyone couldn't learn how to. I'm just saying that up until now…I thought I was the only one who could do it. I never said I was better at it than girls or anything! Honest! I just assumed that…er…I mean, I SHOULDN'T have assumed that…" _

_Ezekiel noticed Jamie snickering as he tried to find the right words to say. She covered her hand with her mouth and tried hard to control herself, but she found his stammering and nervousness too darn cute. _

"_Zeke…you worry too much," Jamie giggled. "I know you're trying to make everyone happy, but when you try so hard…I'm sorry It's just too funny!" _

_Ezekiel was a little taken back by her laughing at first. But when he realized what was going on, he started laughing too. When the two got it out of their systems, Ezekiel looked at Jamie and without thinking, asked, "Wanna get something to eat?" _

"_Sure!" Jamie answered. _

_END FLASHBACK_

"…and we spent the rest of the night talking, walking around, looking at more horses, and even listening to a local band play some music." Ezekiel concluded.

Geoff and Bridgette looked from Ezekiel to each other and smiled formed on both of their faces.

"So…what exactly are you reflecting on?" Bridgette asked, intrigued.

"I'm not sure if it was or not…but…you two would know, eh? Was last night, what Jamie and I did…a…date?"

"If that's not a date, I don't know what is, dude," Geoff replied, smiling a big smile.

"Wow…so that's what it's like…" Ezekiel whispered, getting lost in his thoughts again. "I could get used to that, eh."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Geoff – **All right! My man, Homeschool, just had his first real date! That's awesome! From now on, I'm going to do everything I can to help Ezekiel with dating! (He thinks about something) I hope Jamie had a good time too.

_**END**_

Geoff, Bridgette, and Ezekiel were the last to enter the cafeteria. But when they got in there, they noticed something missing…breakfast.

"Where's Chef?" Alicia asked, observing the kitchen. "He's dilatory!"

The other nineteen campers just stared at Alicia blankly.

"…late…" Alicia sighed.

"Oh, I can answer that," a voice replied. Everyone looked to where the voice came from to find Izzy standing there with her camera. "You see, he's not here on purpose. It's part of something he's got planned."

"What fatuous plot has that man contrived now?" Alicia asked, seeming irritated by the whole fiasco.

"Oh, you'll see soon enough nerd," Izzy replied.

"Well, what about breakfast? I can't exactly produce food out of thin air, you know," Noah called out.

"Oh! I know. There was this one time when I was hiding from the RCMP in a village where the villagers had lost all their crops and food sources to drought. So to get enough energy to survive, they licked the sweat off each other. Yeah. Their sweat provided enough energy to get though an entire day. You know, salt and all. Let me show you!"

Without warning, Izzy leapt through the air, landed on Greg's shoulder, and began to lick his face.

"You know, for some reason or another, I'm not surprised that Izzy chose me," Greg sighed as he sat down at his table, Izzy still licking his face. The others, after shrugging off Izzy's story, went to their seats and went about their business.

"So, Greg, how's that restraining order against "E-scope" coming along?" Noah chuckled as he sat down next to Greg and pulled out a book.

"For your information, bookworm," Greg grumbled, "we're a little tied up in the court right now because my lawyer says I need to present the judge with some visual evidence. You know; a picture, video footage, etc. of Izzy doing unwanted things to me like…this thing she's doing right now licking my face. Izzy, why are you licking my face?"

Izzy didn't answer as she continued to lick Greg's face, savoring the salty flavor entrancing her taste buds.

"Stop doing it!" Greg ordered! Izzy did not hear him and continued her feast. "I SAID…wait, no…no…wait…KEEP doing it," Greg chuckled. "Hey! Someone go get my camera!"

"LINE UP MAGGOTS!" Chef's voice hollered as he and DJ entered the cafeteria. On instinct, the twenty remaining campers lined up and stood as straight and still as possible. Why? Because Chef was in his military uniform and anyone that knew Chef knew that when he was in military uniform, he meant business.

"Listen up!" Chef began to speak. "Today, pretty boy Chris isn't here. He's off shooting footage for a movie. That means I'm in charge today!"

Some of the contestants groaned at this, but they were immediately silenced by Chef striking their arms with his stick. "And when I say I'm in charge, that means I am in complete control. I make the rules! I make the challenges! I decide what happens! I decide who wins, loses, and who goes home tonight! IS THAT CLEAR?!"

"YES CHEF!" the twenty campers replied in union.

"Good! Now, lets' get down to some business: As you all are well aware, we are now making all our challenges based off of movies! Today, you are all going to be partaking in a challenge that is based off of one of my all time favorite moves!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Noah – **(Looking bored) Let me guess: a war flick of some sorts.

**Bridgette – **(Looking nervous) I can't do a war movie! It isn't in my blood to hurt someone else.

**Duncan – **(Looking excited) Now THIS is my kind of challenge! I can handle any stupid war game Chef throws at me.

_**END**_

"I consider this movie to be one of the greatest movies of all time! It makes me laugh…it makes me feel good inside…it makes me feel proud…it makes me cry even…" Chef continued, tearing up a little. "After watching this movie…I never feel so confident about the human race in my entire life…this movie changed me for the better…I need a moment…"

Chef took a moment to collect himself and get control over his emotions. He finally did and made the announcement that everyone was waiting for: "Maggots! Today's challenge will be based off my favorite movie…**Disney's Beauty and the Beast!" **

_**Confession Cam**_

**Joe – **(Looking confused) Excuse me?

**Aaron – **(Looking shocked) Woah. I don't think even the force could see that one coming.

**Jamie – **(Squeals) Oh! I LOVE that movie!

**Beth – **I was SO excited to be participating in a Disney challenge! I mean, ever since I was a little girl, I've always dreamed of being a Disney princess. And today…I have that opportunity!

**Greg – **So instead of doing a hardcore war film, I'm doing a sissy princess film? (He pauses for a second) All together ladies and gentlemen…I'm pissed.

_**END**_

"YOU MAGGOTS GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!" Chef demanded of the contestants, noticing some of them snickering a little.

"NO SIR!" They all replied.

"Good! Now, here's the challenge for the day! I am basing this challenge off of my favorite scene from the movie: the "Be Our Guest" scene. For the first part of the challenge, you're all going to go into my kitchen and prepare a signature breakfast dish for me. One by one, I will taste your dishes. In the end, I will pick the four dishes I like the most. Whoever made those dishes will be the team captains for the second part of the challenge! You and your teams will get together and cook me my dinner!"

"Why? Because you can't cook?" Duncan chuckled.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Chef demanded.

"Nothing," Duncan immediately replied.

"That's what I thought! But not only are you going to have to feed me…but you're going to have to entertain me as I eat. Sing! Dance! Juggle! I don't care!"

"So I can do my illegal stuff?" Duncan smiled.

"NO!" Chef barked.

"And one rule to remember: whoever the team captains are have to participate in both aspects of this challenge. You will help two of your teammates cook the food and you have to perform with the other two teammates as they entertain me! IS THAT CLEAR!?"

"YES SIR!" the campers replied.

"Good! You have forty-five minutes to cook me breakfast! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! GET GOING!"

The contestants saluted Chef and raced into the kitchen.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Geoff – **Okay. I was cool with this challenge. After all, in season one, I aced the cooking challenge. So I should have this one in the bag.

**Jason – **Just wait until Chef takes a bite out of my famous gourmet breakfast. I used this recipe in a cooking contest in my school and took home first prize.

**Ali – **(Looking concerned) Um…this shouldn't be too hard. I mean…all I have to do is cook a little breakfast. I mean, when the chef's at my house cook for my daddy, they make it look so easy.

**Lindsay –** (Looking scared) Yeah…I'm in trouble here.

_**END  
**_

The contestants were scrambling through Chef's refrigerators and cooler, looking for ingredients for their recipes. Greg had collected a carton of eggs and a basket of vegetables and different kinds of meats and cheeses.

"Why so much stuff mate?" Joe asked. "We're only cooking breakfast."

"Trust me pirate wanna-be: you, nor Chef, have truly lived life until you've tried one of my omelets."

"Not a bad choice mate. As for me, I think I'm going to try a pirate themed breakfast."

"Why am I not surprised?" Greg hissed.

Bridgette was just coming out from the cooler with a basket of fruits and a couple other baking goods.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Bridgette – **Being a vegetarian, I wanted to go with an all natural theme. You know, natural fruits and stuff like that. This is something I make my mom in the mornings sometimes when she doesn't have time to make us anything. She loves, so maybe Chef will too.

_**END**_

Beth and Lindsay had just collected a list of supplies from Chef's pantry.

"Since we're going to be going to France one day Lindsay, I thought it would be best if you and I made French Toast to get used to their way of eating! Don't you think?"

"Uh…sure…" Lindsay chuckled nervously. "…even though I've never made it before."

"It's okay. I'll help you."

"You will?" Lindsay squealed.

"Sure! What are best friends for?!"

"AWW!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Beth – **Seriously, what's the point of having a Best French Friend For Life if you can't help her cook breakfast every no and then?

_**END**_

Jamie had gathered a large abundance of cooking ingredients and started getting to work on her dish without a word to anyone. Aaron had taken a different approach to the whole ordeal. He was sitting on top of his work area in lotus position, deep in mediation. He decided he would wait for the force to give him inspiration about what to cook. Courtney was hard at work cooking her hash browns and frying her eggs as she scoffed at Duncan for not even willing to start on his yet. Hannah worked vigorously on her dish alongside Cody and Alicia, sharing ingredients with the two and visa-versa. Noah confidently worked on his recipe for corn muffins.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Noah – **I've memorized the entire cook book from home economics in school and the one thing I can really cook with little to no trouble at all is corn muffins. Once Chef takes a bite out of my muffins, he'll be drooling for more. (Outside, Noah hears Joe reply 'That's what she said". Noah just rolls his eyes at this).

_**END**_

Brandon was at his work station mixing up a batter for his pumpkin pancakes. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Amie struggling to find some ingredients for her recipe, whatever it was.

"Why can't I ever find any freaking milk?!" she growled, looking through the refrigerators wildly.

Brandon looked down at his ingredients and noticed that he had more than enough milk for his batter. He poured what he needed and, when she wasn't looking, he placed the milk in front of her work station. He went back to his recipe and kept watch of Amie out of the corner of his eye. He smiled a little when he saw Amie return to her station and was surprised to see her missing ingredient sitting in front of her. She looked a little confused at first, but shrugged it off and started on her dish. Little did Brandon know, Eva had been watching him the whole time.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Eva – **Why does Amie want to vote off Brandon again?

_**END**_

Ezekiel was hard at work on his breakfast dish. He was frying up a salmon, bacon, and eggs, occasionally wiping the sweat from his forehead. No one else knew this about him, but when it came to cooking, Ezekiel was a born natural. But he wasn't surprised about this. After all, having grown up on a farm, he was used to having to cook a hearty breakfast to get him through the days work.

The forty-five minutes passed quickly and the campers were ordered to plate their breakfast and to put them on the dining tables in the mess hall for Chef's judging.

When I call your name, you will stand in front of your dish and explain it to me! I will then taste it, give you my feedback, and be done with you! UNDERSTOOD?!"

"YES SIR!" The campers all replied in union.

"First up: Nerd! Present your dish!"

Alicia grumbled at being called a nerd yet again and brought her plate up to Chef Hatchet with the lid still on. She lifted it up for him and explained what she had cooked.

"What we have here is an array of breakfast pastries made from scratch: a glutinous Danish just produced, cinnamon rolls, hot blueberry muffins, and a fresh apple fritter."

Chef didn't respond the writer as he grabbed each pastry and took a bite out of each one of them, chewing it and studying it with his sense of taste. Alicia tightened her fists in anticipation o Chef's response to her pastry dish.

"This plate reminds me a lot about you nerd," Chef finally spoke, spitting crumbs out everywhere. "Plain; Dull; and Boring! NEXT!!!"

Alicia went back to her fellow campers with her head hung down as Aaron walked up next with his dish.

"Chef, my fine fellow," the Star Wars nerd proudly boasted, "what you are about to enjoy is a dish that is full inspired by the force itself! It's a…"

"NEXT!!!" Chef immediately shouted.

"But…you haven't even tried it yet!"

"I don't believe in the force, so I don't believe in your breakfast! NEXT!"

Aaron gasped and seemed to go into a sudden state of shock as he heard these words. Bridgette and Hannah had to assist him back in line as he kept muttering something about 'poor lost souls'.

Ali approached next with a nervous chuckle as she presented her "dish" to Chef.

"Scrambled eggs?" she spoke, showing Chef her bowl of uncooked egg yolk.

Chef picked up the bowl and simply drank the contents within, causing Ali to slightly gag.

"Why are they liquid?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh…I couldn't work the stove," she admitted, which earned a couple of snickers from the other campers.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Bridgette – **Why was I so nervous about HER stealing Geoff from me? If she can't even cook, she already doesn't stand a chance. I felt kind of sorry for her, actually.

**Joe – **Can't cook, eh? Thank God she's hot or she'd have nothing going for her, savvy?

_**END**_

Chef sent Ali back in line and Amie approached the Chef next. She was proud to present him her famous Johnny cake dish with milk gravy. For the first time, Chef actually looked impressed. He excitedly scooped up a fork full, dipped it into the gravy, and took a bite…only to spit it back out seconds later.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO POISON ME?!" he barked. "THIS MILK GRAVY TASTES LIKE IT WAS MADE WITH EXPIRED MILK!"

"What?!" Amie asked. "That's impossible!"

"Where's the milk you used?" he asked "Go get it!"

Amie raced to the kitchen, grabbed the same milk she had used, and presented it to Chef.

"SEE?! IT EXPIRED THREE WEEKS AGO!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Brandon – **(Looking flabbergasted, he smacks himself on the forehead) DOH!

**Hannah – **This leaves us with a very important question- Why does chef have three week expired milk in his kitchen in the first place?

_**END**_

Amie stepped back in line, looking confused and upset that such a horrible thing happened to her. Moments later, she heard Chef complain the same thing to Brandon when he tried his pumpkin pancakes. She put two and two together and immediately shot daggers at Brandon, who didn't even dare look her in the eye as he went back in line.

Beth and Lindsay presented their dishes next: they had both cooked up French toast with maple syrup. Lindsay's had a smiley face on it and Beth's looked a little cut up, but chef declared their dishes the best one yet, though he said that wasn't a good thing.

Bridgette was next to present her dish. Her dish was an assortment of fruits and jams she mashed up using only natural ingredients. Chef criticized her for not having cooked a thing on the plate and sent her back in line.

Courtney's dish of two fried eggs, breakfast sausage, bacon, and homemade toast really got Chef Hatchet's attention: it was simple, but well presented and everything was cooked just right.

"Congratulations solder! You're out first head chef!" he declared. Courtney pumped her fists into the air and proudly strutted back in line.

"It figures you'd get it," Duncan smirked.

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" she demanded as Cody was called up next.

"Nothing," Duncan smirked. "Just that you're still a goody two shoes who does everything that's asked of her without question."

"Whatever," Courtney grumbled. "I'm just trying to win the game, that's all. And to do that, I need to be head chef for one of the teams!"

"Really?" Duncan asked, not sounding convinced.

"NEXT!" Chef hollered as he threw Cody's dish across the room. "DUNCAN! PRESENT YOUR PLATE!"

"Sorry Chef. Don't have one," Duncan simply replied, not moving from his spot.

"…why am I not surprised?" Chef muttered.

"What?! You didn't even try to cook anything?" Courtney asked, astonished.

"Hey, relax princess. This isn't even the real challenge, so why bother?"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Courtney – **Ugh! That Duncan is so lazy! Seriously! I don't even know what it is I like about him in the first place! How can you not even try?! That's just…pathetic!

_**END**_

Ezekiel was next to present his dish to Chef Hatchet. His eggs and salmon that were fried in bacon grease went over well with him and he said he would definitely consider his a top contender. Eva wasn't as fortunate. Chef didn't find her freshly squeezed orange juice up to his standards, despite the fact that she had squeezed them fresh with her hands.

Geoff was next to present his dish. The party animal confidently walked forward and lifted the cover off his dish and set it in front of Chef.

"This, sir, is a Butterscotch Caramel Coffee Cake served with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and strawberries."

Chef eyed the plate with great interest. It did look delicious and edible. He took a bite from the dish and his eyes told the whole story: he had fallen in love. He quickly shoveled the rest of it into his mouth and declared Geoff a captain of one of the four teams.

Hannah was next to present her dish, which she herself was proud of. She smiled at Chef as she revealed to him her gingerbread man pancake. Chef had a very disturbed look on his face as he grimaced at the dish.

"…what…is…THAT?!" he demanded.

"It's…it's gingerbread pancakes…" she stuttered.

"Why…in the world…would you expect me to EAT the gingerbread man?!" he barked. "HE NEVER DID ANYTHING TO ME OR ANYONE! WHY WOULD YOU EAT A HARMLESS, INNOCENT, LITTLE GINGERBREAD MAN?!"

Chef started to tear up a little as he gazed upon the gingerbread man and muttered something about how he hurt no one running.

"…all he did was run…hurting no one…and everyone wanting to eat him for it…IT'S NOT FAIR!"

"Uh…Chef…it's just a story and not a real gingerbread man," Hannah explained.

"YOU DISGUST ME!" Chef hollered to the pianist. "GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

Hannah stepped back in line with a very confused look on her face.

Greg was next to present his dish.

"You, Chef, are about to take a bite out of heaven," Greg cockily stated as he lay his omelet in front of Chef. Indeed, it was a large omelet that looked very appetizing. Chef studied it intriguingly and took a bite out of it, studying it with each chew.

"Hmm…not bad…but I've tasted better," Chef retorted.

"This coming from a guy who took puke in season two and tried to make a casserole out of it," Greg responded, standing his ground.

Chef threw the omelet in Greg's face and sent him back in line. This, of course, was followed by Izzy jumping back on Greg's shoulder and licking of the contents of the omelet.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Greg – **(Egg content dripping off of him) Hey, I'm Greg, and yet again, I'm pissed.

_**END**_

Joe walked forward next with a lid over his tray.

"What you got, pervy cartoon boy?" Chef asked.

"Well, sir, I have prepared a pirate themed breakfast for you," Joe calmly replied.

"Hmm…sounds interesting," Chef smiled. "You can all learn something from pervy cartoon boy here! His dish already intrigues me and I haven't even looked at it yet! You could all do with an imagination like that!"

Chef lifted the lid off the tray, and immediately regretted giving Joe the praise he did.

"What the…THIS IS JUST A BOWL OF CAPTAIN CRUNCH CEREAL!" he barked.

"Yes, but as I promised, it's a pirate themed breakfast," Joe replied, still smiling.

Chef threw the cereal into Joe's face and ordered him back in line.

Chef called Jason forward next, who presented a dish that was far superior to Joe's. It was a malted waffle made from scratch served with berries, nuts, and warm, pure, maple syrup. Chef gave Jason his seal of approval and declared him a captain.

Noah was called forward next, who was proud of his corn muffins. Chef, however, was not, stating they were too bland and overcooked.

"Oh yeah, this coming from a guy who can burn water," Noah muttered as he stepped back in line.

Finally, it was Jamie's turn, the last dish to present.

"This is something I used to cook for my brother every morning for breakfast," she explained as she presented to dish to Jamie. "It's two eggs, with Chicken Fried Steak and mil gravy…it was his favorite."

As Chef studied the dish, Jamie held tight onto her pendent around her neck, hoping it would pass his test.

When Chef was done, he sniffed a little and said, "Your brother was a fine solder with great taste, country girl! It gets my seal of approval! You're our final captain!"

Some of the campers applauded Jamie, who just blushed and smiled.

"And that makes four!" Chef announced! "Our team captains are Geoff, Courtney, Jamie and Jason! Plus, as a little added bonus for you four, because you all did so well, you all have received invincibility! Even if your teams lose, you will NOT be going home tonight!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Geoff – **All right! I get to be captain of my own team! Plus I'm safe! WHOO! This is the best challenge ever!

**Courtney – **See? Duncna should have tried a little harder. Now, he's still at risk of going home tonight. (She sighs) I expect he'll want me to find a way to get him out of this predicament.

**Jason – **(Grinning) The board is all set up for me! I already have some teammates in mind…not just for their skills, but to form an alliance with. This chess board is set up perfectly.

**Jamie – **(Looking at the sky) Thank you brother! You helped me back there in a big way!

_**END**_

**And that's all for this chapter! Next chapter, the teams are selected, named, and te cooking and planning begin! As always, review after reading! I LOVE EM! **


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter Twelve – Be Our Guest! **_

"And welcome back to Total Drama Madness maggots!" Chef Hatchet announced to the camera.

"Where the hell have you been?" Greg demanded from the Chef.

"Sorry about the wait," Chef apologized. "I had to answer a phone call from the producers."

"Well, it's about freaking time," Greg grumbled. "It seemed like it took you almost two years!"

"Ah shaddup," Chef barked. "Anyways, let's get back to the challenge!"

"Um...what are we doing again?" Lindsay asked. "You took so long that I forgot what was going on."

"I told you maggots that I had to talk to the producers! Those phone calls are NEVER short! EVER!"

"You're telling us dude," Brandon huffed. "It took so long that we all forgot what we were doing!"

"SILENCE!"

All the remaining campers shuddered and stood in the position of attention, fearful that they may have to face the wrath of Chef Hatchet if they got him too mad.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Joe – **If there's anything I've learned during my short time here, it's that you don't get on Chef Hatchet's bad side, savvy.

_**END**_

"Fine! Since you pukes have such horrible memories, I'll remind you! Party Boy! Sheltered Girl! Sophisticated Boy! Annoying CIT Girl! The four of you won the cooking challenge! Not only are you invincible from elimination tonight, but you are now the captains of your own teams for the next part of the challenge! You will pick one maggot from four groups of four that will be arranged by me! After that, you and your new team will have to prepare my dinner AND put on a show for me! I like entertainment with my meals! Quality entertainment! Whichever team has the best combination of food and entertainment will win the grand prize today! The rest of you, one of your sorry butt's is gonna go home! Is that clear?"

"SIR! YES SIR!"

"Good! Now I'll divide the rest of you losers into groups of four and the captains will pick from those groups!"

Jamie, Jason, Geoff, and Courtney stood off the side as Chef separated the remaining campers into four different groups. When he was finished, it was obvious what he had done: he had sorted them based on gender and how long they had been on Total Drama. So one group consisted of Noah, Duncan, Cody, and Ezekiel. The next group was Joe, Brandon, Aaron, and Greg. The third was Bridgette, Eva, Lindsay, and Beth. The last group was Amie, Hannah, Alicia, and Ali.

"Now then! Sophisticated boy! Since your dish was the best of the best, you're permitted to pick first!"

"Thank you Chef," Jason smiled.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Jason – **(Rubbing his hands together) This is almost TOO perfect. I now have the chance to select which pawns will be the most useful to me! After all, if a pawn gets far enough across the board, even they can become queens. Now...which ones will be of most assistance to my goals...

_**END**_

"Hmm...very well then, my first pick is...Cody!"

"Really? Sweet!" The tech geek exclaimed.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Cody – **I was psyched to be the first one picked! Usually, I'm one of the last ones to be picked...especially when it comes to basketball back home in school."

**Jason – **Why Cody? Well, let's just say that I'll be able to make him an offer he can't refuse.

_**END**_

"Next, I'll take Greg."

"Whoa there big guy. You, uh, made that choice a little fast there," Greg accused. "I mean, I know I'm good and all, but I"m not sure I like how quick you were to call MY name, ya know. I mean, I know I've been known to turn a few straight men gay and all, but..."

"I assure you Greg, it's nothing like that," Jason assured as he rolled his eyes. "Simply put, you're a great cook."

"Yeah, sure," Greg huffed as he stepped forward. "But don't think I'm not gonna keep an eye on you!"

"Uh huh," Jason grumbled. "Anyways, my next pick is Beth!"

"Really! All right! I'm NEVER picked first! Thanks!" Beth squealed as she raced forward.

"No problem," Jason grinned. "I know you'll be of value to our team! And finally, I choose my dear friend Hannah."

Hannah just smiled as she stepped forward. Behind Jason, Cody was pumping his fists in the air in excitement.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Jason – **(Smiling evilly) As I said, I'll make Cody an offer he can't refuse.

_**END**_

"All right! Team Sophisticated is all set!" Chef called out. "Sheltered girl! You're next!"

Jamie took the floor and studied the remaining choices carefully. It was times like this she wished she had a television back home with more than just three channels. Had she been able to watch the past two seasons, she would know which of the original contestants would be of most value to her team.

'Well, no use in stalling any more,' she thought to herself.

The group of original guy campers was the first group. Ezekiel, Noah, and Duncan were left. For her, this one was an easy choice. She smiled at Ezekiel, who smiled back. Quickly, she glanced over at Geoff, who gave her the thumbs up and a smile.

"I choose Ezekiel," she smiled.

Ezekiel proudly stepped forward. He and Jamie high-fived and continued to smile at one another.

"Yo! That's real touching and all, but I'd like to finish this challenge TODAY, if you don't mind!" Greg snapped.

"Aw, don't ruin the moment Greg," Izzy cooed as she jumped back on his shoulder like a monkey. "Remember when you and I first met?"

"Oh, how can I forget?" Greg mumbled. "I was taking a bath when you jumped through my bathroom window and claimed that you were on the hunt for some weird-ass monster called the whumpus and proceeded to help yourself in searching my bathtub WHILE I WAS STILL IN IT!"

"I know! Good times, right?"

"No! No, it was not a good time!" Greg assured her.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Jamie – **(Looking shocked) Is THAT what it means to have someone have a crush on you? If so, then I hope Ezekiel and I NEVER develop a crush on one another. (She giggles) We're just gonna have to skip ahead to the dating, I guess.

_**END**_

Jamie turned her attention back to the remaining contestants. Her next pick would have to be either Joe, Aaron, or Brandon. It took her a little longer for this pick, but she ended up choosing Joe for his creative thinking skills. 'They may come in handy for the entertaining part of the challenge,' she figured. Next, it would be either Eva, Bridgette, or Lindsay.

"Pick the hot blonde," Joe whispered to her, practically begging.

"Okay," Jamie smiled. "But which one is sick?"

"Not 'sick'! Hot as in 'gorgeous'!"

"Oh! Okay...I choose Bridgette!"

"WHAT?" Geoff gasped.

"HUH?" Bridgette gasped.

"NOT THAT ONE!" Joe gulped, looking back and forth from Bridgette to Geoff while covering his neck with his hands.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Joe – **I thought for sure that Geoff was going to pounce on me and throttle me there and then! I meant for her to pick Lindsay!

**Geoff – **I WAS a little angry at first when Jamie picked Bridgette...but when I saw her pout...how could anyone stay mad at her?

_**END**_

Jamie's lower lip quivered as she looked back and forth from Geoff and Bridgette.

"...I'm sorry," she whimpered.

Their expressions went from disgust to forgiveness within a matter of seconds. It was almost impossible for anyone to stay mad at a girl like Jamie. Especially when someone like her had mastered the art of the puppy dog pout.

"It'll be okay Geoff," Bridgette assured her boyfriend. "I'll wait for you afterward!"

"Me too! You!" Geoff smiled back as he blew her a kiss.

"ENOUGH MUSH!" Chef Hatchet barked. "Sheltered girl! Pick your final teammate! That's either feminist girl, spoiled rich girl, or nerdy girl here!"

"How whimsical," Alicia grumbled.

Jamie looked over the three female newcomers and began deciphering which one would be of most value to the team. Alicia was smart, but what she had in brains she lacked in creativity. Amie just seemed too uptight. And Ali...well, she was just mean.

"Pick the blonde!" Joe whispered again.

"I already did!" Jamie whispered back.

"No pick the other...wait, I mean...pick Ali."

"Her? Why?"

"Just do it mate! Do this favor for me and I'll never ask anything of you again, savvy?"

"Joe! It's her choice, eh!" Ezekiel barked at the perverted cartoonist. He and Bridgette had joined the group huddle now to see what was going on.

"Seriously! And why Ali? She's lazy, mean, and overall useless," Bridgette chipped in.

"That's unusually cruel and mean spirited of you mate," Joe acknowledged.

"I know," Bridgette shamefully admitted. "But it's just that I tend to get a little moody towards mean people. Plus she's trying to steal my boyfriend!"

"And you want Jamie to leave her and risk her being on the same team as your boyfriend, is that it mate?"

Bridgette opened her mouth to retort, but stopped when she let Joe's last argument sink into her head. Three seconds later, she turned to Jamie and told her to pick her.

"Okay! Then I pick Ali!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Ali – **(Looking disappointed) So they chose me...whatever. It doesn't matter. That surfer scank can try all she wants. But she knows that with a body like mine and a face like this, there's no way Geoff can resist me forever. He WILL fall for me. (She moves her hands up and down her body) I mean, look at me! I'm HOT! I make Lindsay look like Beth! And Beth...well, she can't get much lower than THAT!

**Joe – **Sure, part of me having Jamie pick Ali was to make sure Ali and Geoff aren't on the same team. That, in turn, scores brownie points from Bridgette so that we're on good terms. Because Bridgette is one girl I WANT to be on good terms with, savvy. The other reason...well, let's just say that this pirate's got a few plans that'll make Ali forget about Geoff ...savvy?

_**END**_

"ALL RIGHT! Keep it moving! Party Animal! You're next!"

"Hey! Why does HE get to choose before me?" Courtney demanded.

"Simple! I liked his dish better than yours!" Chef hollered. "Now keep your trap shut!"

Courtney just grumbled. She wasn't too happy about not being able to choose who was going to be on her team. In fact, she was going to be left with the leftover contestants that the others didn't want. The only question now was who were they going to be.

Geoff studied his choices. First, it was between Duncan and Noah. Knowing Courtney, Geoff wasn't about to devoid the CIT of her fling. And he was certain that she wouldn't get along with Noah of all people.

"Okay! Noah! You're on my team dude!"

"Yippie," Noah replied unenthusiastically.

Next was Brandon and Aaron. Again, he thought of Courtney's wrath if she got stuck with someone she didn't like.

"Brandon! Dude! You're with me!"

"Woot!" Brandon cheered.

Now Geoff had to choose between Eva and Lindsay. True, Lindsay wasn't as good a cook as Eva was (he shivered at the memory of her poisoning Trent unintentionally back during season one). But Eva was just plain scary and unpredictable. Lindsay was the obvious choice.

"All right then. I choose Lindsay!"

"Yay!"

Finally, at long last, it was down to the final pick: Alicia or Amie. This time, it wasn't hard for Geoff.

"I'll take Alicia!" he smiled.

"Astounding! I'm alleviated that someone here regards my aptitudes and crafts!" Alicia responded as she joined Geoff's team.

Geoff, Brandon, and Lindsay all stared blankly at Alicia. The three were standing side by side as a fly entered Geoff's ear, exited out the other side and into Brandon's which exited out and entered Lindsay's ear and out the other.

Noah rolled his eyes and began to count down in his head.

'Three...two...one...'

"NERD!" the three shouted in union before laughing.

Alicia just grumbled at the three simpletons as they continued laughing.

"All right! Enough laughing at the nerd here! The third team's set! That leaves everyone else for Miss CIT over here: delinquent boy! Tough girl! Feminist girl! Scrawny Geek!"

_**Confession Cam**_

**Courtney – **Well, it looks like I lucked out this time! Three out of four teammates that are useful...I mean two! Two teammates! We already know that Aaron is useless and Duncan...well, he's just annoying! I mean, that ogre worth anything? Don't make me laugh!

**Duncan – **(He shakes his head) Dude, it's been three seasons! She's kissed me, followed me to pull a prank on Chef, kicked me in the groin, argued with me endlessly...the list goes on! Why can't she just accept it: she digs me!

**Aaron – **You know, people thought that C-3P0 was useless at first too! But the more they watched Star Wars, the more they realized that he was a valuable character for Luke Skywalker and the others! Why, had it not been for him, the ewoks would have feasted on Han Solo's corpse! Or how would have Luke Skywalker have rescued Leia or Han? How I ask you! (He huffs in frustration) They may see me as the 3P0 of the group now, but just you wait! I'll prove to you all that even 3P0 can be a hero when he needs to be! (He grunts one more time before pulling up his dish that Chef didn't even want to look at, takes the cover off, and starts eating his breakfast, which is steak, eggs, and freshly squeezed orange juice).

_**END**_

"All right maggots! The teams are decided! You've got until 1900 hours to put together an act I'll like and a meal that'll set my taste buds alight! Understood?"

"Yes sir!"

"Good! You're free to start! Dismissed!"

_**(Team 1 – Sophisticated)**_

"So, who's doing what?" Beth asked.

"Oh! Izzy thinks you, Greg, and Izzy should work together in the kitchen!"

"Um, you're not a part of our team Izzy," Jason reminded her. "In fact, you're not even part of this contest."

"And above all, you're NOT a part of me!" Greg hissed. "Now kindly get off my shoulders!"

"No, no, no," Izzy chuckled. "Izzy had a great view from up here. She can catch a lot on great shots from this angle!"

"What the hell are you talking...OH GOD!" Greg cried out as Izzy pulled out a giant camera from her pocket, which caused him to collapse under all the weight.

"Aw," Izzy whimpered. "I had just a great view! Come on big boy! Back on your feet! We've got work to do."

_**Confession Camera**_

**Greg – **(He cricks his neck) Hey there ladies and gentlemen. I'm Greg. I'm in a lot of pain right now. I need aspirin. I'm tired. I want the day to end. (He pauses for a second) Oh, and I'm pissed too.

_**END**_

Jason and Hannah helped Greg back to his feet while Izzy, who was told by another cameraman that she was needed in the producer's office for another task, left the group.

"Thank God for that," Greg grumbled.

"Now then, back to business," Jason cleared his throat. "After going through all the possibilities in my head, I have decided that this is the best way to assign the tasks: Greg and Beth will work on our meal in the kitchen whilst Hannah and Cody will provide the entertaining."

"Sounds good to me!" Cody smiled with hints of a faint blush on his face as he thought about working with Hannah.

"Yeah...but what can we do?" Hannah asked.

"You're both musicians, are you not?"

"Well...sort of," Cody replied.

"Then I'm sure that the two of you can create a composition that is more than satisfactory for Chef," Jason smiled. "Why don't you two go get your keyboards and allow your creative minds to wander and create beautiful music! I'll be out in a few minutes once I've gotten Beth and Greg started."

Hannah and Cody nodded and did as they were told.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Hannah – **I was a little skeptical working with Cody at first. I mean, he and I have two completely different tastes in music. I thought for sure there was no way our tastes would mix.

**Cody – **(Smiling) I had to think of something that would impress Hannah. Since I knew she's not entirely into rock and roll, I was going to have to do something...different. The Code-meister would have to be creative!

_**END**_

_**(Outside at the Performance Stage) **_

At the stage, Team Party was going over their plans for the performance part of the evening. They had decided to do a sports show that would consist of Lindsay's cheer leading skills, Geoff's skateboarding skills, and Brandon's soccer skills. And for the meal, Noah and Alicia would provide a sports themed meal: hamburgers, french fries, and a fruit smoothie.

"Okay dudes," Geoff spoke to Noah and Alicia, "Make sure that the meal isn't too simple. Try to add some spice and excitement to it even though it's a simple burger. Remember, we're dealing with Chef's standards here!"

"Affirmative," Noah and Alicia replied in the same monologue before heading towards the kitchen.

Geoff then turned to Brandon and Lindsay. "Be sure to practice, but don't wear yourselves out practicing. We've all got to be in top shape for the show tonight, okay?"

"Sure thing George," Lindsay nodded.

"Um...it's Geoff Lindsay," Brandon corrected.

"Oh! Right! Thanks Brock."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Brandon – **(He face palms himself)

_**END**_

Nearby the three athletes, Team CIT was preparing for their show as well. Courtney had decided that Amie and Aaron were best fit for the show portion while Duncan and Eva should prepare the meal. Amie and Aaron seemed to have everything under control, so Courtney left them to practice while she checked on Eva and 'that ogre' to see how their progress on her sea food dinner plans were coming along.

As Brandon practiced juggling his soccer ball, he couldn't help but notice the two out of the corner of his eye. Aaron had Amie's boombox on the stage and had just put in one of her CD's.

"Track number eight Aaron," she requested.

"Affirmative," Aaron replied. He then hit a few buttons on the boombox and pressed play.

By this time, Amie had knelt down on both her knees and hung her head low. At first, the music started off slowly and majestically. At this part, Amie slowly rose to her feet and raised her hands above her head. Her eyes were shut and a small smile had formed on her face.

It was the first time Brandon had seen her smile ever. And in his mind, never did anyone look more beautiful than her when she smiled.

Then, the music changed into an upbeat hip-hop tune. Amie's body began to move to the beat. Her choreography wasn't sexy like Brandon had seen in most music videos, but it was still beautiful and very graceful. It was a combination of ballet and urban street dancing, which was a combination that was extremely difficult for anyone to pull off. But here, Amie did so almost effortlessly. And all the while, her eyes were closed and she had a great smile on her face. It almost seemed as though she was an entirely different person while she danced on the stage.

The song came to a close, in which the music returned back to the mystical sound it had at the beginning. To this, Amie slowly returned to her starting position kneeling on the ground.

"Bravo! Bravo!" Aaron applauded. "A performance worthy of the Hutts!"

Amie just quirked an eyebrow at this statement.

"In other words, if you were to dance like that for Jabba the Hutt, he wouldn't feed you to his Rancor," Aaron explained.

"Thanks...I think," Amie replied.

"Why don't you take a break," Aaron suggested. "That way you're nice and rested for tonight's show."

Amie took a sip from her water and agreed that this was a good idea. She and Aaron walked off and left their equipment right there.

"You know Geoff," Brandon whispered to the party animal. "When you watch Amie dance..."

"Yeah?"

"...it's the most wonderful thing in the world," he swooned.

_**Confession Cam**_

**Geoff – **Sure, it's no secret that Brandon has a crush on Amie. But it's too bad that he can't seem to hit it off with her. (He pauses for a minute in thought. Then, he snaps his fingers) I've got it! Since I'm already helping Ezekiel and Jamie, I might as well help Brandon too! I hope you're watching this DJ! I'm taking your example and helping people with their dating lives!

_**END**_

Ali and Joe from Team Sheltered arrived at the stage and sat there. Joe was just finishing up a phone call he had gotten on his cell.

"So, you say you'll give me your book of anime babes with large chests if I upload that video? Hmm...throw in that life size cardboard standee of Jessica Rabbit and you've got yourself a deal mate! ….uh, thanks Billy, but that won't be necessary. Oh, and FYI, I'm NOT bald! I've got six hairs on my head. Therefore, legally, I'm not bald! ….Okay, I'll be on the lookout for that book and standee! Thanks! Bye!" **(1)**

Joe hung up his phone and then turned his attention back to his initial target: the incredibly bratty, but ridiculously hot Ali. Cracking his knuckles, he collectively took his place next to the blonde in yellow.

"So, like, if Jamie hasn't decided on an act, then why is she consulting those two idiots in the kitchen while she has us sitting here doing nothing?" Ali scoffed impatiently.

"Well, we aren't exactly doing nothing," Joe replied with his usual mischievous grin.

"Uh, hello! We are just SITTING here," she snapped.

"No we're not. See, you're talking to me and I'm talking to you. Therefore, we're sitting here and talking, which is the exact opposite of doing nothing. See, if we were doing nothing, then we would be nothing but mere statues totally devoid of life. And you don't look much made of stone, mate."

"Oh, I am SO not in the mood for your double talk," Ali hissed.

"You don't say," Joe grinned as he slowly placed a hand on Ali's shoulder. "Well then, perhaps you're in the mood for something else."

"If you don't get your hand off my shoulder geek...I won't be responsible for what will happen to you!"

"You mean you won't be responsible for the pleasurable touching I'm experiencing right now? Well, that's a fib if ever I heard one mate. For only someone like you could be responsible for skin this smooth. Or for a back this slender."

As Joe continued to talk, he slowly moved his hand down Ali's back. Little did he realize that by doing this, Ali was getting more and more furious by the second.

"...or for thighs this fit," Joe continued, now caressing Ali's his area. "Not to mention this firm, healthy butt you've got going here."

Then, Joe slapped Ali right in the butt. Ali yelped slightly.

"Yessir," Joe smiled. "With a butt like that, it's no wonder you can get any man you want."

Normally, a man is supposed to sense when he has infuriated a woman. However, Joe's head was so deep in the gutter that not even he could detect the state of rage Ali had just entered. And unfortunately for him, when it came to revenge, Ali was more than an expert: she was a master. She took a deep breath, calmed herself down, and put on her best seductive face before turning around to Joe.

"So," she smiled. "You liked what you felt?"

"Who wouldn't mate?" Joe replied.

"True. Very true." Ali paused for a second and started moving her body around a little, which caught Joe's attention withing nanoseconds. She then asked Joe very seductively, "Do you...like what you see?"

"Oh, yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Joe replied, starting to lose his senses.

Ali had him hooked. She walked closer to him, making sure to bend over in front of him just right so that he could see down her shirt. Then, in an even more seductive tone than before, she asked, "Do you want to see and feel more?"

By now, Joe's hormones were out of control. He nodded his head up and down so frantically and excitedly, one would think his head would fall off within a matter of seconds.

"Well then big boy," Ali whispered while grabbing Joe by the cuff of his shirt with her finger, "follow me."

Then, like a dog on a leash, Ali led Joe to the backstage area of the stage. Joe was so blinded by his hormones that he was totally oblivious to the sinister smile that had formed on Ali's face.

_**(Back in the kitchen) **_

"So what do you think Bridgette?" Jamie asked as Bridgette stirred up her bowl of eggplant lasagna filling.

"You want to sing a song for Ezekiel? That's so romantic," Bridgette smiled. "I'm sure he'll love it!"

Jamie squealed slightly at this news.

"But...what should I sing?"

Bridgette thought for a moment. "Well," she spoke aloud, "when Geoff and I first started dating, he would call into a radio station and have them play my favorite song 'Surfer Girl' by the Beach Boys...but I don't think that would fit Ezekiel too well...hmm..."

Bridgette and Jamie thought for some time. They only had a few minutes before Ezekiel returned with his ingredients for the Eggplant lasagna.

Finally...

"...Got it!" Bridgette exclaimed.

Before Jamie could ask what she had come up with, Bridgette leaned in and whispered her idea to Jamie. Jamie's eyes widened with excitement and her cheeks blushed.

"Oh! I love that song!" She squeeled.

"So does Ezekiel," Bridgette smiled. "He told me so when we talked the first night here."

"He did?"

"Yup. We had a nice talk that night," Bridgette smiled as she reminisced on the memory.

"Great! It's settled then!" Jamie smiled. "I'll go find Joe and Ali and we'll get started!"

And with that, Jamie bolted out of the kitchen. She was so excited that she nearly knocked Greg over in the process.

"Hey! Easy there kid," Greg scolded. "I've already been attacked today by one crazy chick. I don't need another one attacking me!"

"Sorry Greg," she apologized. "But...I'm not a chicken."

_**Confession Cam**_

**Jamie – **(Looking worried) Since when did chicken's attack people? Aw, whatever! I've got a song to sing!

**Greg – **Yeah...a chicken! If only it was a chicken! Instead it's a...(Izzy slowly pops her head up behind Greg.

**Izzy – **A what?

**Greg – (**Not looking surprised) A pain. A pain in my neck.

**Izzy – **No. THIS is a pain in the neck! (She bites Greg on the neck, which causes him to scream in pain and horror.)

_**END**_

"Sheesh, talk about clueless," Greg huffed as he began to grill his steak.

"Oh, I think she's cute," Beth retorted. "Besides, don't you remember your first crush?"

"Crush? I don't do crushes," Greg explained. "If you ask me, the perfect girl is a girl who doesn't want to sing to me, go to a movie, go out for dinner, or any of that BS."

Beth was confused by this statement.

"Well then, what IS your idea of a perfect girl?" she dared question.

"My idea? A girl who wants to go straight to heaven, if you know what I mean."

"Wow. Digging deep there, aren't you Romeo?" Noah sarcastically asked in his usual monotone as he cut up his potatoes.

"Oh, don't get me wrong," Greg added. "I like to get to know them a little before we get in on the action. You know, the usual stuff: What's your name? Do you have any protection? You don't have a boyfriend, do you? Cause I won't screw a pre-screwed chick. Don't lie to me about that, cause I can tell if you're lying or not. I know where my wallet is and I know how much money is in it. Please don't touch it...then...LORDY MAMA! ROCK MY HURRICANE! Know what I'm saying?" he chuckled.

Alicia, Beth, and Noah just stared blankly at Greg at these remarks. After a few seconds, they decided that it was best to just leave it alone and to get back to work.

"Men like him are the reason I'm a lesbian," Alicia whispered to Noah.

"Wait...you're gay?" Noah asked.

"That's what I said," she replied.

"But why..."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not talk about it," Alicia spoke before Noah could ask.

Noah just grumbled as they got back to work. 'There goes any chances I had with her,' he thought to himself.

_**(Back at the Stage Area) **_

Hannah and Cody were still discussing what they could do for their performance on the stage. Amie and Aaron were off somewhere resting for the evening. Joe and Ali were still backstage. The only ones doing any work were Brandon, Lindsay, and Geoff. They had warmed up for their performance later that night and were now setting up the scenery for their act.

"Okay Linds! Put that light over there. Brandon! Bring those lights over here! And watch where you're going dude. Don't trip or anything.

"No problem dude," Brandon assured Geoff. "I'll be as careful as..."

Just before Brandon could finish his sentence, a horrific crunching noise was heard. That sound was followed by the gasps of Lindsay, Geoff, Cody, Hannah, and Jamie, who had just arrived.

At first, Brandon didn't know what had happened. He was carrying so much stuff that he couldn't see where he was going. But judging by everyone's reaction and the luck he was having lately, he could take a wild guess.

"Don't tell me," he stated in a bored tone. "I just stepped on Amie's boombox."

"Yup," Geoff replied.

"Smashed into hundred of pieces?"

"Uh huh," Lindsay shivered.

"And her CD was in it too, right?"

"It was," Hannah gulped.

"Broken, right?"

"Unfortunately," Jamie whimpered.

"And to top it all off, she's standing right behind me, isn't she?"

"Sure is," Geoff quivered.

"Mad?"

"Raging," Cody added.

"Of course she is."

**And I think that's a good cliffhanger to leave it on. First of all, because there's a lot of unanswered questions that will be answered next time. And second, because you've all waited long enough for an update. I know, it's been almost two years. But the thing is this: I started writing this story and up until last chapter, I realized something: I hadn't planned out anything past the second chapter! Therefore, I put this story on hiatus until I planned it out better. And now, after two long years, I think I've got a good enough idea that I can continue this story without the delays. So I'm going to try to work on this story AND my main story "You're on Total Drama Island, Charlie Brown!" at the same time again. **

**Also, A big thanks to Kobold Necromancer for sparking my inspiration again for mentioning one of my characters in his story "Total Drama Battlegrounds", which is where the (1) comes into play. In his story, Billy the intern calls Jos and asks him to put up a video of Chris Mclean hurting one of the interns and offers him a magazine of busty anime girls if he does so. So thank you Kobold! It means a lot to me! **

**Anyways, for the questions: What will happen to Brandon now that he has destroyed Amie's one beloved possession? What nasty deed does Ali have in store for Joe? What song will Jamie sing for Ezekiel? Can Hannah and Cody work together? What happened to Alicia to make her go gay? What plan does Jason have to make it to the finals? Who will win the contest? And will Izzy ever leave Greg alone? Find out next chapter! **


End file.
